Friday, February 29, 2008

What happens when you send me a mass email

I open it.
I see it's a mass email.
I mark it "spam."

Your email is flagged as spam by my email program.
I never see anything you send me, ever again.


If I'm considering your manuscript, be it full, partial, pages, or just a query, DO NOT start sending me all your "my novel got great reviews at Amazon's contest."

I have ZERO tolerance for mass email right now because I'm so behind on stuff and I try very very hard to respond to my queries promptly.

Be smart.
If you wonder if you should send it, the answer is no.

If you want to send something just to ME, it should have direct relevance to what I'm considering. Amazon contest reviews, newspaper mentions, what other agents or editors or readers have said, do NOT qualify.


Josh Ryan said...

Hm, mass email. I guess those sorts of contest announcement mass emails would get annoying to an agent such as yourself, especially when you're busy... but really, what happens when you get something like this?


Subject: OMGZ YOU MUST RED THIS NOW!!!1!one!

Two weeks ago, my friend Roger and I were walking the streets of NYC and decided to cross to go to a Starbucks for a Cinnamon Dolce Latte with Sugar-Free Syrup... when ALL OF A SUDDEN, a crazed taxi driver came flying STRAIGHT TOWARD US! Lucky I saw it in time, but my friend Roger wasn't so observant... the cab driver ran right over his foot, and then KEPT DRIVING! It was Roger's favorite foot, the right one! His walking foot! Now I'm sending this email to everyone whose email I can remember and then some to ask you to forward this to everyone you know. If you do, something AMAZING will happen to you within the next thirteen days!!

Just last week, I helped Roger move all of his boxes of right-foot shoes into the closet and out of sight. These are dangerous times to be a pedestrian! Forward this so we can get these crazy cab guys off our streets! After all, next time it could be YOUR favorite toe!

Send this to everyone in your mailing list and you will be blessed with an amazing stroke of luck within the next thirteen days! If you do not, you will simply be blessed with a stroke. The bad kind. So get sending!

Man, I need a hobby. I do write though, so... I need another hobby.

Unknown said...

Janet thanks for letting us know what you think of queriers (?) bragging they've semi-finaled or finaled in a contest. Seems to me unless your manscript won, you should let it stand on its own in the beginning stages. Time enough to tell about the contest when an agent or publisher decides to see more of your work. MHO :)