Me: Sorry, I was at the store buying you a present.
Duchess of Yowl: (suspiciously nosing bag) It does not smell like tuna.
Me: I should hope not, it's a T-shirt. See: Cat, size svelte.
Duchess of Yowl: (walking on shirt) It feels comfy.
Me: Here, let me iron it so you can see how it looks.
Duchess of Yowl: (looking at ironed shirt) This is a TRAVESTY!
Me: Your grace, what's wrong?
Duchess of Yowl: LOOK! (twitches an elegant, disdainful whisker)
Me: Not everything can have a picture of a cat.
Duchess of Yowl: Why not? And anyway, not just a cat, it should be a picture of me!
Me: Take it up with your agent.
Duchess of Yowl: (suspiciously) Aren't YOU an agent?
Me: You think I'm a waitress, and a laggardly one at that.
Duchess of Yowl: Too true. Get me the number for Barbara Poelle.
Me: Barbara is allergic to cats.
Duchess of Yowl: All the more reason my picture should be on this t-shirt. For all those unfortunates who can't have a cat.
Me: (aside) always thinking of others.
Duchess of Yowl: (from inside the shopping bag) I heard that.