Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Duchess of Yowl Plans Her Menu

Duchess of Yowl: Thumbs! Thumbs!

Me: (rather annoyed) What have I told you about calling me Thumbs!

DoY: Oh, right sorry. Tailless Two Legs, what is my address?

Me: (rethinking the Thumbs name)  Penthouse 1...wait. Why are you asking?

DoY: The delivery dog needs to know. What is it?

Me: Wait a second here, Your Grace. What are you having delivered?

DoY: Pie of course. It's a holiday. We're having turkey and pie.

Me: Have you ever had pie? Do you know what pie is?

DoY: Well, no, but I know I'll like it. It's BIRD pie. I like birds.

Me: Your grace you've never caught a bird in your life.

DoY: If you'd let me go outside I'd catch a bird.

Me: If I let you go outside, we'd get even more noise complaints -- from the apartments across the street.

DoY: That is unfair, and untrue, and has nothing to do with PIE. I want this PIE.

Me: Show me what you're ordering.

DoY: Here: Bird Pie.

Me: That is a company that makes pies called Four and Twenty Blackbirds.

DoY: See...PIE. Yummy bird pie!

Me: They make chocolate chess pie, lemon chess pie and apple pie. No bird pie.

DoY: That is absurd. They should have a different name. Names should tell you what someone does.

Me: Yes Your Grace, I quite agree.

(pause while the Duchess of Yowl considers that last comment)

DoY: You're not as funny as you think you are, Thumbs.

14 comments:

nightsmusic said...

Oh my, I'm still laughing at that last line! And yes, I think I'd rather Thumbs than Tailless Two Legs. Too funny. Is it safe to assume that TDOY will be with you through Thursday?

Kitty said...

I used to have a toy pie when I was a kid. It was a pie, the size of an actual small pie. Mattel called it a "music maker toy" because it played Sing A Song Of Sixpence when you turned the crank. There were five big slits in the top, and when you got to the end of the music, five big blackbirds would pop out of the slits. The lyrics are posted around the side of the pie plate. It's the one toy I wish I had kept when we moved out of our 13 room home into an apartment. Several years ago, I found one on eBay and my son bought it for me. The crank doesn't work because the innards are rusted and the birds have flown away. I don't dare to even clean it for fear I'll hurt its finish. But I'm thrilled I have that piece of my childhood once again. Please tell DoY that I have a bird pie, and here's a picture.

E.M. Goldsmith said...

I do love the escapades of the Duchess of Yowl. Great for a laugh. Now I must pack. Off to New York for Thanksgiving with the kid.

Are there bakeries in Brooklyn that deliver yummy goodies? I would love to send a little something to the kid on her birthday?

Kathy Joyce said...

Oh my gosh, Kitty, I remember this. I never had one, but someone did. How fun!

Kitty said...

Kathy Joyce, you're the first person who remembers that toy. I can't tell you how long I searched for one. It was several years at least. I wonder if there are any more out there?

Karen McCoy said...

Ha! I can always count on the Duchess of Yowl for a much needed laugh.

If the Duchess wants to learn about the dangers of bird pie, I highly recommend The Twits by Roald Dahl...not that the Duchess is a twit, of course...

Craig F said...

Dern, I was hoping to not think about pies today. I have three close to twelve hour days ahead making them. The tatters of a cold that keep wandering by are making those days look like a chore.

Have a nice Sunday folks.

Kathy Joyce said...

Kitty, there's one on ebay, didn't sell at $150. Others between $20-$40. The ones there have the birds still. I love old toys. One of my WIPs is a murder mystery in an antique store!

roadkills-r-us said...

I remember that pie! A friend or cousin had one. I recall playing with it a couple of years past the age my dad thought anyone should have any interest in it.
Some toys are just magical. So are some pies. When magical pie and toy meet. Yow!
Janet, you should offer to bake the Duchess into a pie with some birds and see how she reacts.

Ann Dominguez said...

Hahahahaha.

Beth Carpenter said...

Like a jack-in-the-box, but pie? Love it!

Tell the DoY I make a very good chicken pot pie once in a blue moon. I'll invite her next time.

Casey Karp said...

Count your blessings: my blog readers are apparently being eaten by their cats. And after I had Eritrean food for dinner tonight, my fingers are getting licked rather more often than usual. I'm not sure I dare go to sleep.

Janice Grinyer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janice Grinyer said...

DOY and her escapades - BWHAHAHAHA!

I think its the opposable Thumbs reference that cracks me up the most- honest to pieces, I think they really do think its such a waste that we have appendages that can pull back the tab on that can of kitty delicacies, AND WE DONT USE THEM PROPERLY.

Its that look of disgust we get even as we innocently walk into a room... "WHY ARENT YOU OPENING A CAN YOU HUMAN YOU<SUCH A WASTE OF THUMBS" :D