Monday, January 09, 2017

Writing contests finalists

you guyz just crack me up completely.
That was the only standard for this contest. The entries that made me laugh the hardest are listed below. As always, it was keen competiton;


French sojourn 8:25am
I was blessed to be born a cat, but cursed having OCD, damn crooked pictures.

Sharyn Eckburg 9:29am
I can’t believe they took down the picture of me and put this shit up instead.

charlogo 9:29am
As the cat burglar checked behind every frame for the wall safe, he thought, once again, how opposable thumbs could have improved his profit margin.

Julie Weathers 10:14am
John Berendt was racking his brain for a title to his new book when he noticed Midnight attacking his garden of butterfly and dragon paintings.

lamandarin 10:44am
Cat-a-whompus

Claire Bowbrow 12:09pm
House rules, she said.
No climbing on the drapes, she said.
Artwork?
I don’t believe she did.
Mention it, I mean.
Categorically speaking

Janice Grinyer 12:46pm
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU!! NO...WIRE...HANGERS...!!!"
~ kitty dearest

Not Jana 12:47pm
Feline Buttonweezer finishing off the sea leg adjustment room on Carkoon while cussing out Canine Buttonweezer for eating all pictures of kale.

Scott Sloan 2:53pm
Peter Parker?
Peter Parkour is more like it…

Spidercat, Spidercat…
Does whatever a Spidercat does

Web…?
I don’t need no stinkin’ web…

AJ Blythe 3:37pm
Officer, you've made a mistake. I was framed!

flashfriday 4:56pm
Everybody mocked me, said Mama musta hung out with strays, cuz I sure looked funny after cocooning--tail and claws insteada wings. Who’s laughing now?


Steve Stubbs 6:33pm
This comment isn’t an entry. It is a comment about incomplete sentences. Since we are limited to 25 words I shall be brief. I can’t



Let me know your comments on the finalists.
I have a pretty good idea of who the winner is but I like to give it some time to ferment overnight in case inspiration strikes in the middle of the night!

Final results later today.

23 comments:

Donnaeve said...

I must have missed that! Goes back to check. No. Not mentioned. I guess you just decided laughter was the medicine needed for a COLD Sunday!

That said, my favorites out of your compilation here:

charlogo

Claire

Janice

AJ

Good luck to everyone!

Kitty said...

I vote for Julie Weathers.

And I love Steve Stubbs' comment.

kdjames.com said...

So many of these made me laugh. But Julie Weathers' entry . . . well, it went a beyond a mere laugh and stepped straight into storytelling.

Well done, everyone! Now I want to know who sent this pic and what the real story is behind it.

RachelErin said...

Claire. Because cats and kids have a lot in common.

Colin Smith said...

Perhaps NotJana for "Feline Buttonweezer"... but in the end I think I have to concur with others and vote for Julie's. Clever and funny. Especially after I looked up who John Berendt is... hey, I never said I was the most well-read person in the room! :)

I figured mine wouldn't make the cut since I wrote it in italics. ;)

Meg Leader said...

I promised to explain after the contest closed what Coco was really doing in that photo that the QOTKU used in yesterday's Flash Fiction contest. Coco Chanel is my fashionista kitty. She's particularly interested in decorating...it's a passion for her. She decided some months ago that the row of four butterfly prints hanging above the sofa in my den were far too regimented and ordinary. She took that as a challenge...and rearranged them to her tastes.

Naturally, I would come in, see that they were all wonky, and straighten them up again. Next time my back was turned...she'd rearrange them to her liking. All wonky.

This went on for weeks, until the day came when I straightened the pictures and Coco went along right behind me and wonkied them up immediately.

At that point...I gave up. Wonky pictures it is. She likes them that way, and she's the fashionista in the house, so who am I to say it's wrong? Besides: She's Feline Management. I'm Staff. I know my place.

E.M. Goldsmith said...

Lots of these were so funny but yeah, Julie - super clever. These were a fun distraction on a sick day Sunday. Winter is not my season.

Joseph Snoe said...

Claire, Julie and Scott

Lennon Faris said...

I loved lamandarin's - funny in just one word! Steve's made me laugh. Heck, they're all funny :)

Susan said...

My vote goes to Scott--because I can never not hear that song when I see animals climbing walls!

Meg: That true story takes the cake! Thanks for sharing your fashionista with us!

Theresa said...

My top picks: Sharyn, charlogo,lamandarin, Julie.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Dena Pawling said...


My vote is charlogo and Sharyn. Too funny.


Julie Weathers said...

I laughed at Charlogo's when I first read it, so I'll have to vote for that.

And thanks y'all for getting it.

Writing quote for the day:

Writing well means never having to say, "I guess you had to be there.”
― Jef Mallett

That's what I'm going to focus on today. Making sure the reader is there, smelling the tobacco, feeling the grainy bits of Vienna semonlina cake wallowing around on their tongue, hearing the harness rattle when a horse shakes its head.

S.D.King said...

Scott Sloan, you made me smile!!!

Claire Bobrow said...

Good morning all. I'm thrilled to be a finalist! Thank you, Janet, and everyone who mentioned my entry. Puts a huge smile on my face!!

I loved reading all the entries; many of the ones that had me doubling over were finalists. I really couldn't choose among them. Kudos to all who entered.

One that really cracked me up, but didn't make the list was Mary's.

Sharyn Ekbergh said...

I have to confess to an unfair advantage. I live with two speakative, opinionated and foul-mouthed cats plus a Feline Translation Facilitator.

I think Julie wins for the immediate Gary Larsen cartoon image.

Cheryl said...

Charlogo and Julie get my votes, but I had a lot of fun reading through all of them.

Colin Smith said...

Sharyn: If we're taking votes on the most Gary Larsonesque caption, then JD Horn gets mine: "The argument ended when Martha proved there really wasn’t room to swing a cat without hitting one of Mary’s butterfly prints." :)

Claire Bobrow said...

Agreed, Colin! I thought JD's was really funny and sounded like a great cartoon caption. But I felt a bit guilty for laughing. Poor kitty :-)

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

As jeez, I tried to be clever, write in alphabetical order ( left out x). I guess it didn't work. Oh well,loved the finalists though.
I'm not going to be clever anymore. Ha.

Lucy Crowe said...

Charlogo and Claire get my vote! Thanks for the laughs!

John Davis Frain said...

Despite Feline Buttonwheezer and kitty dearest cracking me up, I have to go with the John Berendt socialite murder mystery that Julie Weathers concocted. Well done.

I'm going to be thinking of Midnight in the Garden of [Blank] and [Blank] all day today as I flit around.

Beth said...

I'm too late to weigh in before the judging, but JD Horn's and Charlogo's both made me laugh. I love the story of the feline decorator.