I have a problem. A very irritating problem.
I know I have emailed you my query beforehand and I was delighted that you said you actually liked it (yay!) but you were very busy with other projects( nay!). But honestly, I was okay with that because you had a reason to reject me.
But one thing that irritates me beyond belief is when I get a response like: "I liked it, but it's a no for me. Thanks anyway."
I despised this answer because I don't know what I did wrong. If they mentioned something that I did wrong, I would be delighted because I could mold my query to match their (and other agents) preferences.
The question that is currently boggling in your head right now is: "What does she WANT FROM ME?!"
All I want right now is
1. is there any way to distinguish agents that give critiques and agents who just send the rejection form and
2. how do I deal with these sort of responses.
(2) The same way we all do: suck it up.
You're focusing on the wrong thing. Once someone has said no it does not matter why. And it's not cause you did anything wrong. I pass on good, publishable material, material I LIKE, every day of the week. You can't "mold your query to match my preferences" to get past that.
The truth is you simpy have to keep querying. Or if you just can't deal with this (and it's not some sort of character failing if you can't) go ahead and publish the book youreself.
If you want feedback, you need to enroll in a class. There are lots of good ones from seminars sponsored by Writers Digest to writing conference workshops to year long intensives by places like Grub Street.
Agents are not the people to ask what's wrong with your query. That's QueryShark, or the good folks at Absolute Write.