Thursday, June 13, 2013

You guys made me laugh so hard I was forced to shut the door to my office while I read your entries!
A great solace on a cold, windy NYC afternoon.

Here are the entries that stood out in a very crowded field!

Brandi M. 8:45am
#2 This was the only human suit I could find.

Brian Wells 9:25am
My advice? You get a good man, hang on to him. Alphonse, here? First time I asked him to dispose of a body, he flinched. But his brother, Rodrigo -- what a guy. When I asked him to dispose of Alphonse, he didn't bat an eye. Good man, that Rodrigo.

Matthew Masucci 9:52am
“So, tell me, how do you like being the eye-candy at BEA, gentlemen?”

“We’re actually activists.”

“For what?”

“We’re members of an organization that is battling headless models on Romance covers.”

“What’s organization is that?”

“It’s clever, really. No Bed ‘til Head.”

“We’re really tired of the objectification of men”

MM 9:59am
Man 1: "We're twins--conjoined. I'm so used to Adam that it seem weird to me that most people don't have their twin's tiny head growing out of their shoulder."

Man 2: "I had a twin. I ate him."

Kregger 10:15am
“Hey, cool shirt. I love, love, love the parody, Got Sex? who’d thunk it?”

“Thanks, Caveman. Have we met?”

“Sure, in Philosophy lab.”

“Oh! I didn’t recognize you without the horn-rimmed glasses and pocket protector.”

“I’m near-sighted.”

“You still dance at Wild Rockets?"

“Yeah…who sponsors you?"

"Christian Mingle dot com."

A 10:37am
Seriously man? Cool. I write New Adult too. Mine’s about a personal trainer who leaves The Shore for The City, falls in love with hat design and his roommate along the way. 'Man Hat In'. Almost a memoir.”

M.R. Pritchard 11:42pm
This has got to be one of the best meat-suits I’ve found on this godforsaken planet. “Hello ladies, would you like to sign up for a chance to win a private query pitch?”

“Don’t creep them out.”

“Relax, I’ve go-”

“The only thing you’ve got is a deadline. We need three for the sacrifice.”

 And the winner cause it was just plum perfect:

JD Paradise 2:44pm
"This is just to say --"


"--I have drunken the protein shake."

"From the icebox? I was saving that--"

"For breakfast, I know. Forgive me. It was disgusting. Too sweet. But very cold."

JD if you'll email me your mailing address and the kinds of books you like to read we'll fix you up with a prize!

Thanks to everyone who participated!


Jennifer R. Donohue said...

That winner is perfect. Congratulations!

mm said...

I LOL-ed multiple times reading these--I had to shut my office door, too. Congrats on a great entry, JD.

Jessie said...

I loved these! My favorite was Brian Wells. :)

Anonymous said...

Agree w/Jessie - soon as I saw Brian's, I loved it. There were a lot of good ones...had to be hard to choose.

JD Paradise said...

Thanks, Janet (and others who liked)! Fun game. :)

Email coming.

JD Paradise said...

(I liked Brian's a lot, too. That was my favorite what wasn't mine :) )

Matthew Masucci said...

I'm jealous I didn't think of William Carlos Williams. That was good.

kregger said...

Matt M,

Your story made me snort!

Congrats to you JD!

Katie said...

In addition to the ones mentioned, Lucy Hollowell's scene in the Nicholas Sparks autograph line made me laugh and Cole Mayhew's story of Angie's test results was touching. Both get points from me for beiing "something other than obvious" :-).

JD, very clever! Congrats!

Terri Lynn Coop said...

I loved the Nicholas Sparks one as well.

Congrats on the win and to everyone who got a shout-out. That was a hoot.


Crystal Charee said...

Congrats to JD and the shout-out-ees. All very funny entries.

BonnieShaljean said...

That poem is one of my all-time favourites. Well done, JD! I liked Brandi's contribution too. (Does the #2 mean she was runner-up? I'd go with that.)

Thanks to all for a good laugh, and to a hungry Shark for setting out such brilliant bait.

Can we do this every once in awhile? It's such a constructive way to have fun.

Brian Wells said...

Thanks, Janet. That was indeed a hoot. And thanks for all the shout-outs. You all make me glad I didn't go with my first instinct and post a limerick-haiku-50-Shades-Of-Grey-parody-knock-knock joke.

mm said...

Damn. Now I want a a limerick-haiku-50-Shades-Of-Grey-parody-knock-knock joke challenge.