Yar, me hardy,
I read your screed.
I’d like to make you bleed.
Your book is bilge water;
Go learn how to write a book like you otter.
I’ll make you walk the plank,
Or I’ll keelhaul you, you skank!
Never be sendin’ me pence when I want dubloons.
I’ll own you for one of them writer goons!
I’m slippin’ you this here black spot …
Go learn that after each sentence come a dot.
Ruthlessly lifted from the awesome and talented