Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I've acquired a new assistant





Who is now checking the rolodex







and making a few calls

20 comments:

Janet said...

Let me guess:

Miss Snake?

Mags said...

A slithery companion who make photocopies! Awesome.

McKoala said...

The Query Snake.

Julie Weathers said...

Ms. Reid and an editor familiarly known as Ms. Moonrat were dining with a client at Boss Hoggs Rib Joint yesterday. Witnesses state the man became very animated and forceful during the conversation. He appeared to be in intense negotiations when the snake wrapped itself around him and squeezed the life and final clause from him.

No one seems to know who the snake belonged to, but Ms. Reid offered to give it a home. "It's the least I can do for my late client, who was always fashionably late, but is really late now."

Moonrat was visibly shaking, but it was unclear whether it was from laughter or fright.

Ms. Reid then put a collar and rhinestone leash on it and said, "Come, Sneaky Snake, we have clients waiting."

Loretta Ross said...

Are you spying on us?! I swear I saw your new assistant hiding in the mangoes this afternoon!

(BTW, the word verification on my screen says dieehtb. RUN, EHTB! RUN!)

Merry Monteleone said...

I'll shoot my next query right out to you. It's a fictional revision on the story of creation, titled ADAM AND EVE HAD IT COMING, told from the perspective of the snake.

You're assistant will love it ;-)

Merry Monteleone said...

Oy, that was supposed to be 'your'... now aren't you glad I was kidding about the query?

Julie Weathers said...

OH, good grief. This is just too funny.

Care to share the story of your new assistant?

Ryan Field said...

This is good!! I'm working on a scene today where a character wins a prize at one of those wheels you spin at amusement parks and boardwalks. The snake is perfect; I'd totally forgotten about them.

Carla said...

I believe I've spoken with that assistant before at another firm.

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

Ah. Well that would explain why my rejection smelled like a hamster-salad sandwich on rye.

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

Not to mention the superfluous "s"s on "Passssss."

LitWitch said...

We, of course, always suspected this.

Ulysses said...

I hope those aren't personal calls. On the other hand, who's going to complain?

austexgrl said...

You know...he sort of looks like an ex-husband of mine..????

Steve Stubbs said...

That is a beautiful creature. And easy to feed. I know they eat rats, so I assume you just turn him loose in the subway at feeding time.

Just one question: he is not a client of yours that you accepted into an internship, is he?

And does he do your e-mail by any chance?

Laura said...

Hey, I recognize that snake! Is he 81 inches long, perhaps, with a checkered past and the names of eight or nine miscreants scribbled on his belly? ;)

Janet Reid said...

Hey Laura!
Yup, that's the guy! S/he (I fear sexing the snake is not high on my to do list!) has found a good home here at FinePrint Lit. Just today, several people phoned to pitch their fictional novels to us.

I directed them to our fictional novel specialissssssssst.

Jay said...

At least someone is minding the store while you gallavant off into the sunset for a few days. Maybe I should send along my fictional novel while you're out. I might just get a yesssssssssssssssssss!!!

Kim Stagliano said...

Do you speak Parseltongue?