Giving Good Panel

I slunk into the Grand Hyatt at 8:32am on Friday morning.
Fortunately, the staff know me and were prepared.
A coffee IV pole was waiting at the top of the escalator.
I rolled it, and myself, to an out of the way corner and texted Patrick Lee:
"Good morning?"

My goal was two-fold. If he was still snoozing, I wanted him to wake up since his panel started at 9am.

If he was awake I wanted him to know I'd arrived.

He was awake, attached to his own coffee IV pole, and we rendez-voused in the Broadway meeting room just in time to catch the last bit of the 8am panel that featured the Amazing and Talented Jessica Faust.

At 9am Patrick's panel began. All the panelists were of the male persuasion. (The panel moderator was a woman.) I did a quick gender tally of the audience. 48/64 men, 15/64 women, 1/64 shark.

The panel topic was on writing realistic fight scenes. It was a lot better than I'd been expecting and one reason is Patrick Lee is a really funny guy at 9am.

The gent on Patrick's left turned out to be a great storyteller. A question from the moderator about real life fights got him started on a story about being mugged for a case of beer, and cutting his hand very badly on a broken beer bottle. When I tell you we were laughing as he told this story, it makes us sound like a bunch of sociopaths, but really it was very funny. And it was funny cause of how he told it.  My guess is this was not some impromptu riff, but something he'd told before, maybe often, and gotten it down to a nice taut tale.

The point is this: that's the guy whose books I bought after the panel. I hadn't heard of him before but I figured a guy who could spin a yarn on a panel could probably write a pretty good book.

So now I have two of his.

What this means for you: when you're going to be at a public event, have some stories in your reticule. You may not need them. But if you do, you'll be glad you were prepared.  Trying to be funny, and succinct, with no prep is very difficult. Make it easy on yourself. Be prepared.

An interesting thing happened on the way to the bar

Yesterday I participated in the UNpitchFest at ThrillerFest. As you know, I think pitching is an abomination and should be banned from conferences, but so far, not much luck in persuading conference organizers of this.

The good folks at ThrillerFest however have instituted the No Pitch Zone. The NPZ is a place for writers to come and get help on their queries and first pages. Sort of like QueryShark in person. In the NPZ this year were four agents and two editors. One of the agents was LaSlitherina Herself, the amazing and terrifying Barbara Poelle, and of course me.

Let's just say WE had a good time.
I'm not sure if any of the writers actually survived.
They are so very tasty.

This year something odd and interesting happened. I'm not sure why or how. I didn't plan it. It wasn't something I even thought about ahead of time. It just ... happened.

Here's what it was: the first writer sat down with all her papers and pens,  hopes and fears. If I could read auras I think she'd be a throbbing rainbow.

"Hi," I said. "I'm Janet."
She told me her name.

"How can I help you today?" I asked.

She needed help on her query. She fumbled a bit, found the paper, had it in her hands.

In years past, I might have taken it from her hand, feigning grabbing it at to demonstrate my eagerness to read. I thought that would make the writer feel encouraged.

This year without much thought I just said "May I read it?"
She handed it to me.

I asked "May I make some suggestions?" and she said "Yes, please do." Of course, we were in a room specifically designed for help on queries, ie suggestions, and I would have been startled if she had said no.

But it was interesting to see she instantly seemed more calm and more in control.

By asking her permission, by giving her control of the interaction, she felt better.

Well, the heavens didn't open, and angels did not descend to sing my praises (and honestly if they had I would have fallen over dead with shock) but it did feel like a bit of an epiphany.

So I kept doing it. I didn't make a big deal about it. I just ... asked.

Now that I've slunk home from the bar, and had some time to think I really like this approach. I can't quite put my finger on why yet (I haven't had time enough to ruminate, cause I'm still trying to fumigate!) but I just thought I'd share this with you.  [And that's cause I forgot to do a real blog post for today and I have to be back at T/fest today at 9am for Patrick Lee's panel.  He's more of a night owl than I am, so two coffee IV poles will be wheeled in!]

Being first

I have a friend (how many of your blog entries start this way?) who is self-published. She has several (nine) books out, and they've done fair to middling, as best I can tell. I don't know how to tell precisely how well they've sold, but they're in the mid-hundreds in their categories on Amazon.

She read one of my manuscripts ages ago before she started self-publishing, and, to get quickly to the point, she wants to publish my manuscript.

She has never published anything for anyone else.

My gut says this is a bad idea. But on the other hand, the manuscript in question doesn't fit easily on the shelf - it's a tough shop. She's willing to take on the publishing and marketing costs. And she wants 50/50 profits.

My question for the blog is this: regardless of details (who gets what, etc.), this doesn't fit easily into traditional or self-publishing. With a manuscript that is likely never to see the light of day otherwise, can I still shoot myself in the foot with traditional publishers on other projects in other genres by doing this?

In other words, is this as horrible an idea as I think it might be?

What's the worst possible thing that could happen if you did this?
The book will tank and you'll be very disappointed.
That's it.

Publishers won't care if you've published something else. If you wanted them to publish the book that tanked that's when things might get dicey.

And you're not a debut, but hell, we'll work around that if we have to.

Bottom line: You will have a published book with sales numbers.
This will be a good thing if the book sells well.

Will the book sell well?
You've already said it's a tough sell.  Yes it's harder to find an agent than it is to find a reader. But, you need ONE agent. You need 10,000 readers.

The alternative is of course to publish under a pseudonym and never mention it when you query for your other books.

Of course, you didn't ask what I thought about the idea of being a guinea pig for someone's first effort at running a publishing company.  I will say only this: I never like to be first. I like to be third. I like the idea that rookie mistakes get made on someone else's book, not mine.  And no matter what, publishing someone else is NOT the same as self-publishing. For starters you'll need a contract. With an audit clause for the money. And a royalty schedule. And agreement on who registers the copyright. And then of course the warranties and indemnities clause.

You would be  ceding control of your intellectual property to someone who has limited publishing experience. And NO experience selling books other than through retail channels. You're essentially signing up for self-publishing with no control and half the money. Weigh that against the very lovely idea of your book reaching readers.

There is no wrong choice here. You won't kill your career no matter what you choose or how hard that book might crash and burn.

No one says anything is wrong, but they're also not saying yes

Since completing my third novel (it is the first one I queried with, because no author would ever query their very first novel, right? Right??), I have received over 9 full requests (seeing as how I queried just a little over 60 agents, that's a decent number of full requests).

Each agent has had wonderful things to say about the novel: "creative and awe inspiring", "most imaginative writing I have read in a while", "very talented writer", "amazing detail and incredible world building", "I found myself loving the characters as if they were my own kids", "Please tell me this is a series in the making!", "smart writing", etc., etc., thank you, thank you.

Great, right?
Wrong.

Although their responses back had so many nice things to say, each one of them ultimately turned it down. Not one of them wanted to take a chance on the MS. In EVERY SINGLE case (requesting agents), there wasn't anything wrong with the novel that they put to paper - nothing that involved a R and R or extensive plot changes or character revamping or hair pulling or binge drinking/brownie scarfing/late night red bull fueled editing please stop crying you'll ruin your laptop sessions - they just didn't think it was a fit for them/their agency "at this time".

So my question(s) is/are, why would agent after requesting agent keep turning it down when they seem to like it so much? Am I to assume that the market isn't in a place right now that could support this kind of book (upper MG fantasy) and that is why they ultimately turn it down? I know that agents aren't immune to rejection themselves - it can take them months or even a year or more to find a publisher too - so why wouldn't they want to sign me and gamble with the market in hopes trends will swing or that a publisher will love it as much as they do and buck the whole market trend thing? (BTW - I do NOT/WILL NOT write for market trends - that's what a writer does. I am an author. I write for me and for the stories in my head and that will never stop regardless of all the rejections. Ok, moving on...)

While I appreciate the accolades, I'd like to see this "creative and awe inspiring" book of mine on the shelf!

Any help/insight/agent mind reading would be ever so appreciated!

My first guess, and this is just a guess, is that your upper MG fantasy is well written and wonderful but too much like everything else that's on the market right now. Part of any pitch to an editor is how a book is new and fresh. If the book isn't, well, that's not a book I'm likely to take on.

I don't tell that to writers because there's almost nothing they can do to fix it. And this is a subjective assessment. I don't know if you'll get rep tomorrow and then read MY scathing analysis out loud at a conference someday (or post it on your blog.)

My second guess, and again this is a guess, is that your book doesn't surprise the reader in any way.  That's an often overlooked key to any book (and it ties in with my first guess.)

Surprise me in a good way of course, not by having something happen that doesn't make sense.

My third (and most awful) guess is that something is really wrong with the book and no one is telling you.  I have been guilty of those kinds of rejections myself.  The reason I NEVER put that on paper is that (again) this is a subjective assessment, and my "you gotta be kidding" can be another agent's "gimme that now, I need to sell it right away."

And lest you think I'm exaggerating let me just say I beta read a manuscript that had an offer on it; suggested a pass (which we did) and found out the offering agent was not only a pal of mine, but someone whose taste I admire.  And that kind of thing isn't rare.

You've got a problem but my job is finding solutions, not just telling you what's wrong.

Time for some outside eyeballs on this.  You don't need a class most likely. You need a good critical eye.  This is where you need an editor who has worked for a big publisher, and is now doing freelance consulting.  You don't need an edit. You need a beta read.  Ask them to read as if they were reading for acquisition, and for notes about why they wouldn't buy it (or maybe they would, in which case, YAY.)

What you're looking for with this beta read is if the reader is surprised at any point in the plot, and if the book feels fresh.  If the answers are no and no, well, now you know.

When your agent doesn't rep what you've written

I recently signed with a terrific agent for my nonfiction work. I’m thrilled – I already have a book deal, she represents authors who are highly regarded in my field, and she’s a perfect fit for what I do.

But I also write fiction, and while my agent does represent some children's fiction, neither she nor anyone at her agency represents the category of my soon-to-be-finished first novel (adult crime fiction). My agent has said she’d be happy to look at anything I write, but that she understands completely if I’d rather look elsewhere for fiction representation.

Working with her has been a dream come true – she got me more money and better terms than I had hoped for on the nonfiction book, and I just really respect her and enjoy working with her. I need to decide (maybe?) whether I’d be better off sticking with her even though she usually doesn’t represent or read crime fic (if the novel is even up to her standards), or querying other agents once the manuscript is ready to go. I also want to do what's best for my agent, and I don’t want to saddle her with a novel she’s not excited about. Am I overthinking this? Should I just give her the manuscript and let her make the call? What should I have for lunch? Oh God, why are writers like this?

This is not running on your woodland creature rodent wheel. This is a real problem, and it's one I'm seeing more and more.

The ideal solution is of course to find an agent to rep your adult fiction, while your current agent reps your non-fiction.

This is going to be a whole lot harder than you think.

For example, if you approached me to rep your adult fiction I'd need to know and trust your current agent.  Communication between the two agents is going to be a big factor in this polyamourous representation.

Each agent would have to loop the other in on contract negotiations. Some contracts have non-compete clauses, next works clauses, and option clauses that can throw a spanner in the works pretty damn quickly.

I have one client who has two agents: Sean Ferrell. The estimable Brooks Sherman reps Sean for his picture books. I rep him for his adult fiction.  When this arrangement started, Brooks' desk was right next to mine, and we could discuss all aspects of the picture book deals right then and there.

I can't imagine how cumbersome that would be for an agent in another office, let alone one in a different company.

That's why I tend not to sign people for anything less than their full wardrobe of work.

 But, if your current NF agent is ok with the arrangement, you can query agents who rep crime fiction. You're going to need to tell them about this other agent in the query letter (you'll put the info in the last paragraph NOT the first.) 

This is another instance where meeting agents in person is a good idea. It's a whole lot easier to figure this out when I can talk to a writer face to face and ask questions.

Am I part of your evil plan for world domination?

Here’s a question that’s been nibbling at my mind recently and one, only you can answer.

A while back I remember reading on your blog, (thanks for all you do for us), that posts to your blog belong to the blog. At that time I took the statement as meaning, if you ever wrote a book on writery, agentey, publishey stuff, you could use our comments as fodder. (That would be an honor BTW).

Because my new WIP continues the, ‘why I wrote what I wrote and what happened after’ format, are my quips, comments and amazing (ha) words of wisdom, now owned by you, or am I able to reuse? Re: their force and fallout, in my new memoir/essay project.

In other words, I was just wondering if all my brilliant attempts at enlightenment, shared as comments on your blog, are now yours. (No one accuses me of being humble).

I think you're remembering the submission requirements at QueryShark.blogspot.com which asks writers to agree that the posts can be kept on the blog for the life of the blog.

I instituted that after several people in a rapid succession got gnawed, then pissed, and told me they wanted the entry removed.

Given the value of QueryShark is revising (for the writer) and seeing the revisions (for the readers) just offering a critique that  no one else would see seemed an inefficient use of my scarcest resource (charm time.)

However, that does NOT mean I own the queries. In fact, I don't. They belong to the writer. Then, now, always.

I can refer to them should I ever write  a book on writery, agentey, publishey stuff, but I couldn't just republish the entry without permission.

I own the blogposts here of course. I don't mind if people link to them, or repost them with correct attribution. If someone lifts these posts and publishes them, that's not ok.

As for the comments, those belong to the writers, not me. Of course, if I ever did write a book on writery, agentey, publishey stuff, and wanted to include some of the pithier comments, and did so with attribution, I'd probably be ok.  BUT if I wanted to include one of Miss Julie's amazing stories, I'd have to get her permission.

A comment like

"To share an overflowing plate is admirable. To give away that which you covet is honorable. To donate knowledge, entertainment and escape is most noble"

---CarolynnWith2Ns

is probably fair use.

But anything longer, and a complete story (like the flash fiction entries) is probably not fair use.

Comment without fear. (Now that is a phrase I might have to steal. Oh wait, it's mine!)

Contest results-preliminary FINAL

Yesterday's blog post asking for caption suggestions was really illuminating. Some of you were very practical; very literal in your answers.  Some of you were a bit more fanciful. And some of you, writers to the bone, couldn't help writing stories. I've said it before, I'll say it again: you guyz are fiercely talented and amazing. Never doubt that for a second!



Megan V

I do hate to point this out, but unless that's Mosag then your she is a he. Poor Aragog. Always getting confused for something he's not. First an octopus, then his wife.

My spider is not restricted to just one gender. In fact, today she's wearing a black garter.

Now, I can hear you all thinking "oh that's just Janet making something up to amuse herself on a Sunday morning."

But no no no. The spider is wearing a black garter. How did she get a black garter? Well, the awesome Meredith Barnes stopped by last week to talk to our interns about publicity and marketing. Mer-Bear brought a copy of Karen Robards new book The Ultimatum, and the publicity materials that had been sent out with the ARCs. Instead of a paperclip, the publicity materials were held to the book with a black garter. (If you read The Ultimatum you'll know why this was a stroke of pure PR genius.)

I of course snagged the book
The spider snagged the garter.
With eight legs, one can always use an extra garter.



There were some hilarious suggestions as to the box's contents:

E. M. Goldsmith

Jeff Somers' missing pants

Steve Forti

The obvious answer is Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

But since it's Brooks, and he was the librarian at Shawshank, I'm gonna say it's a rock hammer hidden inside a bible.

I must be missing the joke about Gwyneth Paltrow's head, but any reference to The Shawshank Redemption gets my vote!

Update: Steve has now clarified the reference. I will NOT be viewing this on YouTube! WAY too scary.  I prefer to be the scarer, not the scareee!

Writer of Wrongs

Shrodinger's Cat. Not to be confused with the Duchess of Yowl. I hope.

Confuse me with some OTHER, lesser cat? I should think NOT.

Lizosisek

Your order for Waffle House

I haven't been to The Waffle House in far too long. I better track down a writing conference near one and beg for an invitation!


CarolynnWith2Ns

Waldo

TS Rosenberg

The Macguffin, of course!

kdjames

It's the crushed hopes and dreams of a thousand writers, lightly seasoned with their bitter tears.
Nah, that's your favourite snack food.
Plus, probably he has his own.

LynnRodz

Oh, the irony of it all! It's heavy, it's July...it's none other than my great-grandmother's special recipe Christmas fruitcake that I sent you back in December. It's obvious the spider knows a good thing when he sees one. And you didn't even have a piece. At least Brooks knows what goes good with a nice bourbon.

Happy Christmas in July, Brooks! Enjoy the fruitcake.

flashfriday

It's me.
I am in the box.

I guess poor Mr. Sherman didn't realize when he cheekily told you, "Feel free to send along anything off-beat, slightly disturbing, and/or not quite right in the head you run across," you'd take him literally.

Colin Smith

It's John Frain's manuscript of course. And Sox the Spoctoper (spider-octopus) knows that NOTHING is worthy to share a box with THE MANUSCRIPT.

(Yes, I named him Sox, because every flash fiction contest, he gets blown away.)

Terri Lynn Coop

To be using a flat rate box for crosstown, it is something heavy.

For the pet spider to be terrified to enter the box, it is something spiders instinctively fear and avoid at all costs.

Duh, it's obvious.

You're sending Brooks Sherman a vacuum cleaner.


Don't feel bad folks, I'm a trained professional.

Terri

Kathy Joyce

Uh, guys? I think you're missing the obvious.

Byobrooks is an agent. What do agents need more than anything else?

Honestly, it's not that tough a riddle!

Agents need MORE TIME. Janet is sending him more time.

Why the flat rate envelope? To disguise it, of course. Most people want more time, so Janet has to pretend it's a box of books, so no one will steal it.


Why didn't the spider climb in?

Geez, do I have to do all the thinking here? Did you ever see a spider wearing a watch?

He didn't climb in because SPIDERS DON'T NEED MORE TIME!

You're welcome. ;)

Jenny Chou

Okay, so I really want to know what's in that box.

Everyone who has read Harry Potter knows that spiders flee from a basilisk, but why would you be sending Brooks a deadly snake? You like Brooks. You would not want to see him petrified.

I hear there are ARCs available of Nick Petrie's new book, but if you got your fins on one I can't imagine you sharing it.

So now I've determined the two things that are not in the box.

Though you share Sean Ferrel as a client, I know he's not in the box because he tweeted something today that was not "Help! I'm n a box."

Liquor you would have packed and shipped directly from the store.

Spider is afraid of it. Not an ARC. Not Sean. Not alcohol.

So obviously it's ---


*background noise of ferocious struggle as beloved iPad is ripped away*

Hi. This is Jenny's daughter. Mom made me promise to keep her off Twitter and all other forms of social media until she's completed draft 1 of her WIP. And besides, it's a beautiful day. You people should be outside or something.

I can't tell you how delighted I was with these entries. Hilarious and imaginative. And oh so illuminating!

It's almost impossible to pick just one winner.

How about you guyz weigh in in the comment column today, and I'll announce the winner tonight?


UPDATE: ok, I've read the comments, and mulled this over.
There's no way to choose one winner, so there are two:  KathyJoyce for what is IN the box, and Jenny Chou for what is NOT in the box!

As usual, you guyz just blow me away with your talent! Thanks to all who took the time to enter and comment.

Kathy and Jenny, drop me a line with your preferred mailing address.  Jenny, boy oh boy, do I have a  good prize for you!