The Icy Chill of Winter Flash Fiction writing contest

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This winter weather is making me crazy (ok, I didn't start from a sane baseline, but STILL!!!)

A writing contest can at least give some purpose to this madness!


The usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Use these words in the story:

snow

blow

ice

chill

spring

3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: ice/mice is ok, but blow/below is not

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.

5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.

6. International entries are allowed, but prizes may vary for international addresses.

7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)

8. Under no circumstances should you tweet anything about your particular entry to me. Example: "Hope you like my entry about Felix Buttonweezer!" This is grounds for disqualification.

9. It's ok to tweet about the contest generally.
Example: "I just entered the flash fiction contest on Janet's blog and I didn't even get a lousy t-shirt"

10. Please do not post anything but contest entries. (Not for example "I love Felix Buttonweezer's entry!")

11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.

12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


Contest opens: Saturday 2/27/16 9:56am

Contest closes: Sunday 2/28/16 10am


If you're wondering how much time you have before the contest closes:


How long till the contest closes?

If you'd like to see the entries that have won previous contests, there's
an .xls spread sheet here

(Thanks to Colin Smith for organizing and maintaining this!)

Questions? Tweet to me @Janet_Reid
Ready? SET?

Not yet!

ENTER!

Rats! Too late. Contest is closed.

Signing with a more junior agent

So signing with a very new/ junior agent seems like a perfectly fine thing to do if that agent is embedded within a good agency and they are a good fit for your book. Do you think it matters if that particular agency as one (or, um, more than one) other agent/s who are more senior who already rejected your book? I ask because I know junior agents rely on the mentoring and connections of more senior agents as they start getting into the biz. But does this create an awkward or potentially bad situation for the author if other senior agents are familiar with the work and didn't like it? 

You have fallen prey to one of the worst (and totally wrong) assumptions in publishing: rejection means the agent didn't like it.

I reject good and publishable work Every Single Day.

Let me say that again this time with feeling: I pass on good and publishable work Every Single Day. Work that goes on to find an agent and get published and win prizes.

Repeat after me: rejection only means no, nothing else.

Thus, a more senior agent might have passed on your work for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with the caliber of the writing, let alone whether s/he liked it.

Some of the reasons I pass on good and publishable work EVERY SINGLE DAY:
1. I have a project that's similar
2. It's not one of my strongest categories
3. I've just signed a new client and I'm hesitant to take on more work just now (that happens a lot)

Some of the reasons I pass on work that other agents might take on:
4. It needs more editorial work than I want to spend time on



Thus, you should now intuit the answer to your question,

But does this create an awkward or potentially bad situation for the author if other senior agents are familiar with the work 

but in case your frozen intuition whiskers have not yet melted after all my hot air and arm-waving:

NO

Am I still a debut?

I know that it's easier to get signed as a debut novelist than after having published a book, especially if the book didn't sell very well. (Your exact words were, "It's easier to launch a career than to revitalize one.") So my question is, what if the first book wasn't a novel?

I'm one of three writers at a niche blog, and we'd like to create a nonfiction advice book. The blog is currently hosted by a small publishing company, which is a nice connection, though of course there are no guarantees! Because we have a narrow audience, it's unlikely that we'd sell an impressive number of copies.

But I'm a woodland creature! My question is, how will this affect my future chances of publishing a novel? Publishing credits are good, but then I wouldn't be a debut author, even though it would be my first novel.

But you will be a debut novelist, and that's what counts.

Non-fiction has very little crossover to fiction in terms of sales. Just ask Bill O'Reilly who has had several "non"-fiction books (at least that's how they are marketed--historians are too busy laughing to explain why it's hilarious) on the top of the best-seller lists, but his novel has tanked not once but twice.

Think of it this way: your non-fiction advice book about How To Dry Clean Your Dragon isn't going to appeal to the same audience that wants to read your novel about ballerinas in space.

People read advice books to learn things.
People read novels to be entertained.

You'll be just fine.

Do the +/=*%! math

A recent query letter informed me that the writer:

 found the [query] process to be backwards. If I was an agent, I think I would want to read a chapter or three, and see if I was even engaged by the author’s storytelling ability. If an author can’t get my attention in that period of time, then that’s their own fault. But if I am intrigued, I could then contact the author, and they could tell me ...[about the book.]

Fortunately the Shark Delay Team works 24/7 so the first response (which Sherwin Williams has inquired about patenting for use as a paint solvent) is now consigned to the ash heap.

And once the Shark Delay Team gave me back my keyboard I'd regained my sunny disposition, I thought let's get some data to substantiate my position rather than just firing off torpedoes of annoyance.


So I read the three chapters that came with this particular query. It took me just over four minutes, because frankly by chapter two I was skimming.

Here's the math:

Four minutes per query. I got 54 queries last week. 54 queries  x 4 minutes each (minimum) = 216 minutes. That's 3.6 hours of reading time. Every week.

Contrast that with reading queries: I read the next ten queries in three minutes. I said no to eight of them, and flagged two to remind me to read the enclosed pages when it's not midnight and I'm not cleaning up singe marks on the keyboard.

If I'd read all the pages with those eight rejected queries, I'd have spent just over thirty minutes (8 x 4), not three.

In other words, I would have spent 27 minutes to get the same results that three minutes did.

Here are some other reasons "just reading the chapters" isn't an efficient query system.
*I won't know the word count. It does no good to read three chapters of a book that's only 40K or more than 200K.

*I won't know the category. I generally don't take on science fiction or women's fiction or anything with supernatural elements. It's not in your best interest that I do, since there are many many other agents more capable than I in these categories.

*I won't know if what I'm reading is a prologue.

*I won't know if I'm reading about the main character.

*Most important: I will have no sense of the plot or characters before starting. And that writer friends is death for you. It breeds confusion. Confusion is NOT GOOD in a query letter. You know how I know that? Cause the QueryShark said so. About 200+ times.


And most important: when a writer tells me that the way I've set up my business practices doesn't suit them, it doesn't take much imagination to seeing how other business practices I insist on don't suit them either.

*No, you can't call the sales department to ask why your book isn't in the local Barnes and Noble.

*No, you can't call your editor to ask why the editorial notes aren't ready yet.

*No, you can't call the six editors who passed on this manuscript to see if they have any suggestions for improvement.


The first purpose of the query letter is to entice me to read your book.
The second is to demonstrate you are not an asshat.

A passing grade is not 50%.

Treasure Chest writing contest results-preliminary!/FINAL

You guyz are really making this tougher every single week. Just when I think I've seen the MOST amazing entries, the next contest, you are MORE amazing. It's actually a bit frightening.

And you've gotten really artful in hiding those prompt words! I am now reduced to using the Find function on some of them. 

Herewith the results:

Special recognition for beautiful sentences:

"You, the most beastly, the most beautiful of all." Amanda Capper 10:07am

"He’s off, jingling donor-cycle keys." Claudette Hoffmann 8:47pm

Special recognition for a sentence of exquisite beauty and poignancy

french sojourn 2:30am

"We hadn’t only used blacksmiths to break steel, we’d also used butterflies."

Not quite a story, but a great start to something:

Jennifer R. Donohue 12:54pm

Not quite a story but positively Hitchcockian suspense!

Lennon Faris 3:10pm

Not quite a story, but definitely made me a tad nervous!

Claire Bobrow 3:46pm

Not quite a story but holy hell, it sure is captivating

Peggy Rothschild 8:10pm

Not quite a story but oh man, this is good writing

Caudette Hoffman 8:47pm

french sojourn 2:30pm

Not quite a story, but that sure didn't stop it from breaking my heart

luciakaku 8:29am

Not quite a story but breathtaking (literally)

this in particular was glorious: he waits to decide. Time waits to decide.

Timothy Lowe 9:07am

Not quite a story but there is a lot to admire here

particularly this phrase: done smithing useless apologies.

ace 9:07am

Too soon?

S.D. King 12:55pm

So very meta!

nightsmusic 6:50pm

Amazing sentence pairing:

Lydia D 7:03pm

It was a holy union. Then it went on strike.

Words I had to look up:

mithridate: Lydia 7:03pm

Benelli: Nate Wilson 9:06am

Here's the longlist:

Steve Forti 9:58am

“Milton Walloughby was a cantankerous old sod. He’d ice his walkway, call the cops on trick-or-treaters. Surely, you hated him. But he was nice to me.”

I scan the pews. “You see me an outcast. A quiet boy gone astray. Only he paid me mind.”

Holding up my hand, a rainbow projects from the prism. “I think reality is not always what you see. So I orchestrated this night, as a thank you to Milton.”

I smile, fangs prominent and stained red. The old man rises from his coffin, a hunger in his eyes and a panic in the crowd.

Donnaeve 4:21pm

Papa says, “Marry Roy.”

“Papa, he’s meaner’n a snakebite.”

Mama says, “Can’t feed all you young’uns.”

I marry Roy, and go live on Smith Mountain.

Roy liked things just so. Supper on a TV tray, six sharp.
Beer out a the ice chest, make it quick.

Once I says, “Them tank shirts you wear? They’s called wife-beaters.”

Truth sure can hurt.

“Go on, scream,” he says. “No one can hear.

One day he goes out trapping, drunk.

I find him, foot crushed, bleeding out.

“Help!” he yells, when he sees me.

“No one can hear,” I remind him, and leave.

Mark Thurber 4:29pm

Seven of us came. Mary is our big success, but we all write for a living.

The casket-lowering device is stuck, seems beyond repair.

She was certainly cantankerous. Sixth grade was erasures, wordsmithing, deleting stray punctuation, and her checking over shoulders that the verb matches the subject.

“Uh, guys?” I point to the headstone.

Here lies Regina. Born 1925. Died 2016. She loved her students, the cat and the English language.

Ten minutes with a chisel, then time for another try. Now Regina descends smoothly to her final resting place.

“She always was a stickler for the Oxford comma.”

Brian Schwarz 4:59pm

www.Craigslist.com
Title: To The Dentist Who Stole My Son
Category: lost & found
Area: Sydney, Australia

Mr. Smith,

I’m coming for you, like that guy from the Taken movies.

Liam Neeson.

And I’m bringing friends. The dangerous kind. With sharp teeth.

I am NOT clowning around.

Sure, it’s not all your fault. I told him not to stray so far out into the open ocean.

He never saw that diver coming.

But now you have him in a tank? With a bubbly treasure chest?

No sir. I will not stand for it.

Marlin

Cipher 9:50pm

If you thought getting a locksmith in Queen’s was hard, try getting one on Saturn. After-hours.
That’ll teach you a few choice swear words. Promise.
I tapped the glass of oxygen tank strapped to my chest. Thirty-minutes. Shit.
Grotty legless chav was three hours late.
Ash was going to bury me. ‘It’s a sure deal Ray. Can’t miss.’
I could still smell the stinking optimism on his stupid lips.
Sod it, I’ll just—just see my keys. On. The. Roof.
I pulled the aviators over my eyes. Time to shake it Ray.
After all, bank wasn’t about to rob itself.


My only complaint here is that it's Queens, no apostrophe. 

kdjames 10:22pm

I watch him underestimate me across the bar, tight tank top stretched across my chest, short skirt exposing long tanned legs.

I suck hard on the straw in my drink. He smiles, approaches.

So suave, assured of his power and invincibility.

He sits close.

I lick the straw clean, running my lips all the way to the end, fitting the dart just so. Blow.

Fitting, as his orders blew the hotel, my reputation, my sister's life, to smithereens.

His fall knocks a tray off the bar. I scream, just another ditzy blonde.

And an assassin. Who never, ever misses twice.

Michael Seese 9:30am

Nobody wants to die in a tank.

Freedom is an ocean of opportunity you take for granted. Until you've been snatched from it, and your entire existence becomes subject to the will of another.

Feast / famine.
Day / night.
Life / death.

I smithed my own demise, using the blunt instrument known as my ego. Betrayed by my own cocksure spirit, I flirted with the uncrossable boundary. And I lost.

They found me chest-up on the floor. I didn't expect much. A short elegy, perhaps. Instead, my captors scooped me up in the green net, and unceremoniously flushed me down the toilet.

Here's the shortlist

(1) Colin Smith 10:13am

Chantelle lowered her hand into the tank and, with gentle fingers, stroked Michael's chest, feeling his little lungs fight the odds.

Seven weeks premature.

She gazed through tears, overcome with guilt. Surely Michael was being punished for her sin? An act of betrayal in an empty marriage, filling an emotional chasm. It hurt to be reminded by this helpless child.

But it hurt more that Julian hadn't understood. He wanted her to abort. She didn't want to commit murder.

But when he tried to force her, she had no choice.

"Visiting time's up, ma'am."

Chantelle followed the police officer out.

Took me a good long pause to get this one. I love stories that have those twists that just make you go "ahhhhhhhh!" when you realize what the writer has done.

(2) wordwacker.me 10:26am

    Meagan adjusted her veil. It made everything look gray. The air stank of lilies, unbreathable. Her composure was in smithereens. Was it too late to run? She focused on Joseph, waiting patiently at the end of the aisle.

    "Lots of people here," Father said. I bet Raymond came, Meagan thought, to remind me of my first love. Probably that bitch Esther, too, pretending she and Joseph were "just friends." Meagan shook the thoughts away. Not today.

    She trudged down the aisle on Father's arm, eyes behind the black lace locked on Joseph, lying among the flowers. So patient. So lifelike.


 Notice how the writer uses your own expectations and assumptions to trick you? "Adjusted her veil" "down the aisle on Father's arm."

I love that kind of twisty writing.

(3) Amy Schaefer 12:09pm

Full disclosure: I’m a part-time asshole.

But the Reincarnation Review Panel was unfairly harsh. I was chillin’ like a villain on the astral plane when – boom! Slapped with a “Failure to Seek Enlightenment.”

I stumbled from the hearing, hopes smashed to smithereens. One of the judges appeared at my shoulder. He stank of virtue and cats.

“I can fix this,” he murmured.

A judge gone astray. “Deal. Anything. Just give me music, kissing, and dancing.”

We shook hands. The other judges appeared.

Entrapped. Motherfucker.

Now my soul resides in the tuba mouthpiece in Dr Oetker’s Bavarian Oompah Dance Orchestra.

Bwaap.

This is one of the best openings EVER. Talk about grabbing your attention! And the voice here is utterly compelling.  

"He stank of virtue and cats" is one of the most perfect sentences I've ever seen.

Then of course, the ending of the story is hilarious.

(4) CarolynnWith2Ns 5:49pm

They didn’t name her because she wasn’t expected to live.
She did.
They didn’t take her home because they said she was ugly.
She was not.
I took her.
I named her.
I loved her.
She loved me but she loved them more.
She ran back to them.
They thought she was a stray.
She was not.
Lost to loyalty and unmeasured cruelty, she died giving birth.
So I, the cantankerous one, orchestrated their demise.
Blew their house to smithereens.
They were not expected to live.
They did.
So did her puppy.
I love her.
She loves me more.

There's really nothing harder to write, or more beautiful to read than short, sharp
declarative sentences. This piece is all about emotion, but it's got so few adjectives
and adverbs you'd think twice about calling it emotional. Stark, and beautiful, and elegant.

(5) Her Grace, Heidi, The Duchess of Kneale 7:11pm

When my life tanked--love, social and work--the only way to deal with it was to succeed at something, no matter how small. (Pills are small.)
I'm not a big drinker. Never been in a bar. (Did you know waitresses bring the drinks on a tray? I sure didn't.)
But I knew alcohol was an excellent solvent, though by ten pills, the precipitate started settling in the bottom of the glass.
So what happens? Some asshole with a chest big as a blacksmith's comes along and drinks my drink.
The whole thing.
Honestly. Can't I get anything right?


This just cracked me up, but more than that, I love the parenthetical asides.  I love stories that use form to give the story texture. 
 

(6) Just Jan 7:59pm

Back to work after restless weekend at cabin.
New case with indeterminate cause of death--
Body reduced to smithereens by roaming pack of strays.

Third quarter—
No DNA, no suspect, no leads.
Victim’s parents petition for closure.

Waning crescent--
Public outcry at full boil; Chief demands results.
Case ice-cold.

New moon--
Tanker driver found with history of mental illness and public inebriation.
DA coaches ambiguous witness, presses for indictment.

First quarter--
Scapegoat pleads guilty; sentencing ensues.
Accept commendation.

Gibbous moon, fat and waxy--
Mind and body tense, chest tight.
Return to cabin to pray...
And prey again.

This story is a perfect example of using what's not said to convey what's going on. And those last two lines: yowza.

For those of you who have mentioned you don't get the subtle entries, can you see what's going on here? If you don't see it, say so. It's really interesting to me to hear those kinds of comments.
(I'll let the comment column run on that question for awhile)

(7) Sara Halle 12:29am

We bonded over a love of cubism.

I treasured his enlightened activism.

Then he accused me of sarcasm

Said I betrayed him with my narcissism.

I developed unrelenting bruxism

As he tanked my days with his criticism.

Soon he shared his love of pugilism.

Pain filled my chest like an embolism.

Authorities only voiced their skepticism

And I could no longer embody stoicism.

My meal appealed to his gourmandism.

I threw mine away, blamed my metabolism.

The end came in a cataclysm.

The doctors reported an aneurysm.

My actions might deserve criticism

But I think they were pragmatism.


Well, ok then. There ya go. I mean what is there to say here other than holy fuckamoli?
This uses form, style and diction to tell a story totally off the page.  In other words, all 
telling, no showing, and it works beautifully which just goes to show (ha!) you can break every rule in the book if you do it right.

And it took me forever to find the prompt word smith. When I figured out all the lines ended in "sm" I finally spotted it. Too too clever!

(8) Nate Wilson 9:06am

The chasm, it haunts me still.

It's twenty years on, yet each night the fissure beckons, entreating me to hurl myself headlong into the abyss. Oh, that I could.

Carrie had orchestrated the whole thing. I'd merely given her the strength to act.

She couldn't bring herself to shove him, though. Dad's Benelli was easier. And it got the same result.

Her exhilaration, sadly, was short-lived. Regret loomed. Left alone with her thoughts, she'd betray us both. And I hadn't the strength.

Her tan knit sweater, with the chasm at its center? I gave her that.

I gave her that.

Took me two reads to fully grasp this. And the repeated final sentence is just perfect.

(9) Kitty 9:52am

Old Mrs. Mandelbaum was sitting at the register in her Manhattan kosher deli chain-smoking Chesterfields, ashtray poised for the fallout, while training a new busboy.
“Mayor’s coming,” the busboy said.
“Nanny Bloomers? That pinstripe schmuck doesn’t bother me.”

“Sylvia.”
“Michael.”
“You know smoking will kill you.”
“I’m blowing that theory to smithereens.” {laugh, cough, hack}
“It’s against the law to smoke in here.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Is my order ready?”
“Pastrami on rye, two dills.”
“Just put it on my tab.” He smiled. “See you tomorrow, Sylvia.”
“Always a pleasure, Michael.”

“Where’s the mayor’s tab?”
“I’m smoking it.”

This just cracked me up. You need to know that Mayor Michael Bloomberg was derided as "Nanny Bloomers" for his efforts to pass legislation about health stuff (like banning smoking in bars.)

And "chain smoking Chesterfields" is a great use of brand names to convey characters. If she'd been chain smoking Virginia Slims you'd have a whole different idea of her, right?

And it took me three passes to find the prompt word tank!






How about I let you guyz take a look at the finalists and tell me what you think.

Think of it as payback for a bunch of terrific entries that are making my job VERY hard!

Further results later in the day!




I read all the entries again and I had to pick the one that just took my breath away with its awesome use of form and style.

The winner is Sara Halle. 

Her entry was original and bold. Those can sometimes go splat, but this one soared.

Sara, if you'll drop me an email with your mailing address and a comment or two about the books you like to read, we will get your prize in the mail.

Thanks to all who took the time to write and enter. It was an amazing array of work. Congrats to all the mentions, the long and short list: much to admire there.

The only thing I don't like about these contests is how hard they are to evaluate!

 

WIR 2/21/16

In last week's review, Mister Furkles asked:

Janet,

Would you have not represented a client with novels like Father Andrew Greeley's?

I'm assuming this question was about my statement that I wouldn't work in the Christian market since I don't know enough about it.

Here's a link for  those of you who don't know the books of Father AndrewGreeley. I read the mysteries he wrote in the '80s starting with  The Cardinal Sins. These books were not "Christian fiction" although they did involve a cast of characters who were ordained clergy. These books were published and sold as mystery novels.

Christian fiction has certain parameters that involve redemption and faith. I think another requirement is that Christianity be seen in a positive light only. (Again, I'm not well-versed on this) I haven't read Father Greeley's novels in more than two dozen years but just glancing at the description, I'd say his novels really don't qualify as Christian fiction. 

If you disagree or have a more informed opinion on this, I'll be glad to hear it. 

The answer to your question however is no, I wouldn't have taken those books on, but not because they are Christian fiction. I don't take on any books about the Church. As a side note, I was both astonished and delighted to find one of the priests of my parish was a devoted fan of Charlaine Harris, and quite agog that I'd met her. The priest was an amazing guy, from Poland, now here, and reading genre fiction in English.

On Monday the blog came in two parts: (1) The Quiz (2) The answers

In the comment trail to blog post one mhleader said

Personally, I'd go with CHOICE #2 for all three scenarios. I'd make it a limited-time request (one week? two at most). I'd IMMEDIATELY email the other agents, explain that I have an offer for representation, and give them (slightly less) time to respond if they are also interested. (So, if I ask agent #1 for 2 weeks to think about it and investigate, I'd give the other agents with full mss. maybe 10 days.)

I should remind everyone that an offer (at least from me) is good for about a week. That means you give the other agents about five days to read.

There's a reason for this: I don't want to sit around while a potential client shops my offer for more interest and more agents in the scrum. My assumption when you query me is that if I offer, you want me as your agent. I understand you've done multiple submissions and support that. I hope you get multiple offers too.

I've seen authors query additional agents with "hey I have an offer but I didn't get a chance to query you yet so can you get back to me in a week" leaving the agent who offered (and read the manuscript in a timely manner) sitting around tiddling her winks.

If an author says two weeks, I say "you've got one" and if the author says "I need two" I say "you've got one" and if the author then says "well, I still need two" I say "the offer expires in a week. Use that information as you will."

And just so you know: that happens with offers from publishers as well. When I get an offer for a book I have time to notify the other editors, but it's days not weeks and if the other editors don't get back to me in time, it's toodle-loo.

Hermina Boyle asked:

1) Wouldn't you be telling agents at the 'sending out full manuscript' stage that you are sending fulls out to other agents?

a) Wouldn't some agents prefer to have an exclusive review and would pass on your manuscript if they knew it would be considered by other agents?
b) Telling an agent that others are considering your full would also bump up the priority on your manuscript, I think?

1: yes, you can. I don't ask about other agents reading until I get to the point of considering representation. Multiple submission is the norm these days.

1a: Exclusives Stink. Don't grant them. If an agent wants an exclusive, say no.

1b: no, it doesn't, at least not with me. That strategy is used too often by the unscrupulous (which of course you are not) to be effective any more.

And E.M.Goldsmith screwed her courage to the sticking place and asked:

At risk of being chased back to Carkoon, if any of these scenarios occur, would it be bad form to email Janet and ask if she knows the agent? Just to make sure the agent is, you know, real and not some jellyfish with a reputation for hanging writers and their dreams out to dry? Or is that a no-no.

No no no. No No NO. Really no. If I learned that some agent with a blog was privately emailing readers with assessments of other agents, I'd make sure my colleagues knew and we'd spend about a week laughing at such hubris.

Here's the reason why: I don't know who will be the best agent for you. I can give you questions to ask, but the answers are what you need to assess.

The best source of information on what agents are like with clients can be found on AbsoluteWrite. There's also information like this on QueryTracker. Other authors are your best source on this.

(Any comments trashing Absolute Write will be deleted. Calm, reasonable discussion is ok, of course, but venom is verboten.)

And Colin Smith really likes to stir the pot, he does:

"Okay, Janet, Jessica, Barbara, you've all offered representation, and I really don't know which to choose. So tell me, why should I pick you over your other two colleagues?"

I'm not saying I WOULD do this, or that this would be the right thing to do. But it would be fun to see how agents would vie for a client like this.

You might be surprised to find two of the three of us telling you that the third is the best fit. I've been in scrums where that has happened.  And if it was between BaPo and me, hell I'd call her and we'd discuss who wanted it more. If she did, I'd yield. Honestly Barbara is such a brilliant agent, and so good at her job I think you'd be insane not to choose her if she offered. Of course, don't tell her that, and if you quote me I'll deny it completely.

BJ Muntain asked

When you say "my conclusion is you signed with someone you preferred more than me"... What's the difference there if I were to give you time to read my manuscript and make an offer, yet chose another agent anyway? Then you'll *know* that I chose the other agent over you. And if I do, for some reason, wind up looking for an agent again, wouldn't the result be the same?

The difference is I had a chance to get in the game. That's a fair fight. Maybe I suggested editorial changes and another agent said it was fine to go on submission now. I can certainly see why I'd lose in that choice.

I don't mind can live with losing in fair fight. I don't like not being allowed to play.

John Frain asked:

So help me understand the difference between:

Option 2) Dear You, another agent just recognized my brilliance and wants to rep me. You have 7 days to come back with a better offer

(Five days later after you offer)... Sorry, I'm sticking with agent 1, but thank you for getting back to me.

versus

Option 3) Dear You, another agent just recognized my brilliance and wants to rep me. To save you the time of reading my manuscript, I'm withdrawing it from consideration at this time. Thank you for your interest.

In both options, if I have to go back a year later and query again because things didn't work out, it seems you'd remember me as something less than Shiny Prospective Client because in both cases you're not the one I wanted the first time around.

To me, I didn't waste your time in Option 3 and I didn't actually reject you as I did in Option 2.

For starters there's no "better offer" --all offers here are for the same thing: representation. Second, as I said to BJ above, I'd rather lose after being in the game, than not be in the game at all.

Three and most important: your job is not to worry about wasting my time. In fact, please stand up, find a nerf bat and bop yourself on the noggin six times for that statement. I am in charge of my time management. YOU ARE NOT.

My goal is to find great novels to sell and make authors rich and famous. Your goal is to write that novel. If I think you're brilliant, at least let me tell you so.

Then John Frain doubled down with this:

Okay, so we can pretty much agree that the obvious answers were 2-2-2. Not much mystery there, right?

So let's play contrarian for a moment.

Anyone in business has this happen to them. A company is told they have to go out to bid on a project. They know who they're going to choose. They decided before the bid process. But procurement requires them to get three bids.

So they put the job out to bid, even though in reality they really don't. What they effectively do is make two companies jump through hoops, spend resources of time and money, and then award the contract to the very people they originally planned to. Because they chose Option 2.

That seems to be the accepted way here in America.

I propose that unless you're actually entertaining a reality where you might choose someone else to award your business, it's unethical to go out to bid. If you already know you're going to award your business to a firm (let's call this firm Dream Agent, Inc.), then you're being unethical by requiring two other firms to go through the process of responding under the assumption that they have a chance to win the bid. You should instead award the business to your selected firm (Dream Agent, Inc.) and if other firms come calling, then be real about it: tell them not to waste their resources on a bid they can't win.

A couple years down the road, when the contract comes up for bid again (or, say, you have a different manuscript to offer) and you're no longer happy with Dream Agent, Inc. then you can go out to bid with those other firms and tell them they have a realistic shot at winning your business. This would be Option 3 as I read it.

I think both Option 2 and Option 3 are both polite and ethical depending on the reality of your situation. I also believe the earth can be flat or round and Schrodinger's Cat has 18 lives depending on where I find myself at the moment.

John, your logic lapse here is epic. I mean EPIC. As a writer, you're not sending out requests for bid and awarding a contract. That implies a certainty that simply isn't true.  As many of your fellow blog readers will attest: querying is not a sure thing. A requested full is NOT a bid. (I got an email last week that said "I've chosen you to be my literary agent" and after I laughed, I sent a rejection note cause that kind of naivete is just plain worrisome in a potential client.)

I signed three new clients last year out of  THOUSANDS of queries and almost a hundred requested fulls.

I turn down publishable work.

We're not getting bids on fixing your furnace here. I think the nerf bat might need a couple more applications.

MaggieMcT said:

In the example given if I know that there is no possible way I would go with anyone but the offering agent, I would not be comfortable playing games with the other agents.

I can't discourage you enough from this kind of thinking.

Until you've actually talked with an agent, heard her ideas for revision, and for the rest of your career, there's no way you should decide she's the only one you'll sign with. And honestly it's better for you to hear MANY opinions on these topics. At this stage, you guyz don't know enough about the rest of the process to know if one agent's answers are the right ones. The best way to figure that out is to hear many answers not one. Some of what we say will be new to you.

And it's not "playing games" to do this. Multiple offers is a daily occurrence here. Frankly, I'd much rather sign someone who has had multiple offers and made a choice than someone blindly assuming I'm all that and a bag of chips. REALLY.

On Tuesday, the topic was what a publisher pays for and what an author pays for:

Lucie Witt asked:

Hybrid publishing is interesting. When established authors write novellas and self pup connected to their published works, or put free short stories on their websites, I always wonder if they have to get publisher permission or run it through their agent? (Tiffany Reisz is an example - she has an eight book series but puts free stories on her blog that generally take place between books)

It depends on her publishing contract. My clients who do this talk to me about it first so we can stay on the right side of our contractual obligations. That means there's no one right answer.

E.M.Goldsmith asked:

I have seen that some publishers, even a couple big ones like Tor/Forge, are open to unagented submissions. I would not do this myself, but what happens with the author that splits the difference and goes to a traditional publisher directly without an agent? Can they get an agent with publishing deal in hand or do agents become wary of these writers? Does publisher treat them differently than a writer with an agent. What if their sales are middling or low? Does that hurt their chances of future representation or publication? Do they really save anything financially by going it alone? I imagine they really don't. But I could be wrong.

I do know several agents who've taken on clients who had deals in hand. The earlier in the process that happens the better. That means you don't say yes to the publisher till you secure an agent.

If that happens to you here's what you do: Query as you would normally except your subject line changes: RE: Query for Title -Publication offer from X Publisher received.

In the query you'll tell me which publisher and editor has made the offer and what your time line is. A lot of publishers will give you some time to secure an agent. They LIKE working with agents (surprised to hear that?)  

I respond to those queries as soon as I get them. I don't know how other agents handle it.

On Wednesday we talked about how to reference #MSWL in a query

#MSWL is a Twitter hashtag for manuscript wish list. It's a way for agents and editors to talk about what they really want to see right now.

Amelia Creed said

PS: I've noticed my queries with #MSWL in the subject line not only get a faster reply, but they tend to have a higher success rate. Of course, the sample's a bit too small to give a definitive answer.

I don't participate in #MSWL so I don't have any stats to offer, but this makes sense to me. I know I jump on things I'm looking for much more quickly than I do the general incoming queries. In my case "things I'm looking for" means history and biography. Queries for non-fiction get read much faster than queries for fiction.

On Thursday we revisited the evergreen topic of waiting time: specifically how long should you have to wait if you're a client.

I advised writers to get off the rodent wheel, but Amy Schaefer took issue with that:

Janet, you're missing the fact that the rodent wheel of panic is where writers get their ideas. We are champion over-thinkers for good reason. Sure, the anxiety-related side effects are horrendous, but it's worth it for that aha! moment we need on every page. 

Well, ok then. I always thought you got your ideas on the Wells Fargo wagon,

or  from those helpful souls who offered them to you if you'd do the writing and then you'd split the profits.

And this from Bethany Elizabeth gave me the chills:

It's such a real issue at my workplace that new hires are required to take a class on badgering. Yes, a real class. We learn how to badger. Aggressively.

Well, to be fair, first you start out as passive aggressive. One email, two emails, then a phone call (this can vary by urgency). Then another email with the first two emails attached. Then you go to their office or wait outside a meeting. Then you send them ANOTHER email and cc their manager.

Please don't come to my office! YIKES!

And please don't email anyone you think might be my manager. (I don't have one)

Donnaeve said

"At the beginning especially, I would like an agent who will email/text me periodically just to say "Hi, how's it going?"

Hey Colin, that happened all of twice for me in that first year when my debut was on submission. A "you haven't jumped off a bridge yet, have you" kind of email. And then a "hang in there!" I was, by the fingertips. :)

But more to that, I think agents tend to leave clients alone for the most part - unless they call to tell them they've sold the book, or want to discuss contract terms, or are discussing the next project. There could be other little biz tidbits they might contact you with, but honestly, you can count on months of nothing...b/c we're supposed to be producing the next magic thing they can sell. A "check in" email even once every three months could be perceived as "are you done yet?" or "Can you write faster?" Least that's how I'd view it.

This is one of the reasons Twitter and Facebook are valuable to me: I can talk to my clients very informally, or listen too, just as informally. Twitter was how I knew not to bug one of my clients: she posted pictures of the 48 inch snowfall in her front yard.

Or that a client's beloved pet has died. Or when there's a reference to a big life event, happy or sad.

For all it's crazy, Twitter has real value for that kind of low-key connection.

On Friday we have the writing contest. Results to be posted on Monday.

S.D. King asked:

Colin, on the spread sheet, what are the extra winner columns for? I am guessing that finalists can enter their entries? Perhaps this could be a shared Google Sheet where others could edit?

The extra winner columns are because there are multiple winners sometimes. Finalists do not enter their own entries. This is not a shared sheet with multiple editors. I like Colin. Multiple editors is a recipe for crazy. Please do not ask me for specifics on how I know this.

Thanks to all the blog readers who provided questions and comments for the round up this week. Even you who needed a nerf bat applied to your noggin. It's always interesting to see what you're thinking.  I appreciate your willingness to swim with the shark!

Subheader noms:

It's just like life: into every hashtag, a little dross must fall.--DLM

Been coming here for years, been writing for decades, been a smart ass know it all, all my life and today, I learned something. --CarolynnWith2Ns

The Slush Pile Café--E.M. Goldsmith

 HELLO. My name is unagented writer. You killed my query. Prepare to sigh.--Christina Seine