More on memoir

Memoir queries can break your heart.

"My husband died. I had five kids to feed. I figured out how to do it. I made it. I want to help other people in this situation. Here's my memoir."

"My child died of cancer. I want to make sure other families learn from our ordeal. Here's my memoir."

"My child died by suicide. I thought I would die too. I didn't. I want to help other parents. This is my memoir of how I made it."
 

I try to answer these queries personally. The amount of pain quivering in that electronic font isn't an optical illusion. Or maybe it is the tears in my own eyes, I'm not sure.

But the answer to these queries is almost universally no.

And the why is cruel: memoir, even memoir trying to help other people in similar situations, must have a significance for readers who are not experiencing what the writer did. There must be something more to the memoir. Something that makes it universal.

Without that, it's almost impossible to pitch this for general trade publishing.

The question to ask is "what does this story have to offer people who are NOT in my situation."

If you're finding a cold shoulder while querying memoir, this might be the problem.

It will help to get some objective opinions. It's hard to do this at a writing conference. If you sit down across from me and tell me this is a memoir of your child's death, my first response is not to say "well, what's in it for me?" even though that's what I need to know. My first response is to ask your child's name, how old s/he was, and to tell me more about her.

Thus, you'll need to find a place where you have more time. Time for people to get past the first shock of tragedy. A good writing class on memoir will help you. An independent editor will be of use to you.

Telling a larger story through the lens of your own individual story is what you need.

And if you can't find a larger story, there's a lot to be said for making the book available on your own. Even if you comfort just a few people, that's a good thing coming from a very sad event.

How do agents assess viability of writers who are 65+

Last week you featured posts on the glacial pace of publishing and the death of an aspiring writer. While writers generally accept the maxim “write a good book and everything will fall into place,” there must be some calculations made by literary agents when the author seeking representation is a senior citizen. Frank McCourt’s breakthrough with Angela’s Ashes is often held up as proof that success can come to elder writers. I’m sure there are other examples, but aren’t they the exceptions that prove the rule?

Can your share some observations on how literary agents assess the marketing viability (i.e. touring, physical stamina, appeal to book buyers, follow-up titles) and profit potential for prospective clients who happen to be north of, say, sixty-five?

I’ve read a lot of the blog archives, but couldn’t find anything on this exact topic.

Let me just start with an homage to my beloved client, Richard Gilbert. I think he was 83 when I first started working with him on his memoir. Sadly, he has now shaken off this mortal coil, as has his lovely wife, and I miss them both to this day.

I was honored to work with a man like Mr. Gilbert. He ran the agency that created some of the most iconic advertising images of the 60's. Images I remembered when he queried me.

It never crossed my mind that he was too old to sign.
It never crossed my mind that he would die either, but we had a number of lovely years working together before that very sad day.


But, that doesn't really answer your question does it.

I don't know how other agents handle this; it's not something we really talk about.

What I know is that I don't think about a writer's age unless it's mentioned in the query. It's not a factor in assessing whether I want to sign a great writer.

If you're concerned about your work getting short shrift because you're of mature years, don't mention your age.

Don't mention you didn't start writing until you retired.
Don't mention your grandchildren.

In other words, let your work speak about how talented you are, not how old you are.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, a holiday so rich in irony this year I won't even start to list the ways.

I hope all of you are celebrating with people you love.


Let me just say this: I'm profoundly thankful to have you blog readers as part of my life.

You have a created a virtual community here that I value beyond words. You guys crack me up, amuse me, exasperate me, and keep me accountable on those blasted misspellings!

My life would be the poorer without all of you collectively and individually.

Thanks for being my chums!

Querying? Clean up your web presence!

I recently taught a class in Effective Query Letters at CrimeBake.
The hand out for the class is here (for awhile anyway!--if the link doesn't work, email me and I'll send you a PDF)

You'll notice item #10: Correct form for email querying.
Your contact info is at the bottom.

Your contact info can be all of these:

Your name

your email

your telephone

Your website

Your blog

Your twitter name

Your Facebook page

Your physical address

But you don't need ALL of them.

List ONLY the ones you want an agent to see.

And before you send your first query, take a look at your blog, your website, your Facebook page and/or your Twitter feed to see what an agent skulking around will see.

Posting your rejections with comments? Not a good idea.

Posting your anguished rants on the vagaries of the publishing industry? Not a good idea.

Posting your work? Do you want me to read it? I will if it's there.

The other thing you'd be VERY smart to do is have another set of eyes take a look. If you've got spelling errors and homonyms, run on sentences or sentences that don't make sense, you want to edit those BEFORE I get your query.

Even the most careful writer will find errant words and phrases have crept in to their online writing.

And it never hurts to post a picture of your pet.

Any questions?

Writing Effective Queries

I've spent ten years talking about writing effective queries.

The number of INeffective queries that arrive in my mailbox, DAILY, is perplexingly high.

When you think about a query, it's pretty simple really.
A good query is like the answer to the question: Have you read any good books lately?


When someone asks you that, what do you say?


Agent: So, read any good books lately?
Author 1:YES! It was 75,408 words long, and it's historical fiction, and it's set in Boring, Oregon!

Agent: So, read any good books lately?
Author 2: YES! I'm an unpublished writer with no writing credits, but I've loved to write since I was little.

Agent: So, read any good books lately?
Author 3: YES! It starts with Jack Reacher being arrested for a crime he could not have committed, and when he's cleared of that, the guy who framed him turns up dead, and Reacher has to decide whether to stay and figure out what happened or just get the hell out of this crazy pants town.

A good query is a handsome beast!

I did a round of query replies this morning and at least 30% of them didn't get to "what's the story" until the third paragraph.


Look at your query. Look at the first line. If I ask you "So, read any good books lately?" are you going to tell me what you've written in that first line?


The most compelling thing you're going to tell me in your query is the plot.
Start with that.

The Duchess of Yowl flash fiction contest results

I have spent the entire weekend lollygagging about petting the cat and cozying up to HBO on the couch. The ONLY thing I got done was the contest results!  The contest entries were great, the cat is great, and HBO is a treat cause I don't have TV at my own apartment.



But now, to work! Herewith the results:


a misspent youth provided the secret to this story!
Did you figure out what it was about?
 Steve Forti 9:59am

Not quite a story, but terrifyingly evocative
BJ Muntain 10:26am



This is a sentence that is almost an entire story
Brigid 10:44am
“You never expect the Spanish Inquisition,” Dad murmured. Or the first miscarriage, the second Recession, the third War, their last little girl to grow up.



Special recognition for a great sentence
Foy Iver 1:15pm
"Silence stalked through the line."

Em-Musing 9:38am
The bottle-blonde winked at Alan then turned to the roomful of college jocks deciding which tenderoni she'd stalk tonight.

Homage to the Duchess of Yowl, Herself (now sleeping on her heating pad after being served her dinner)
JD Horn 11:40am



Great opening paragraph
Angie Greagory 12:38pm
It’s been six decades since the day we drowned. Oliver’s death was over in minutes. I’ve been sinking for a lifetime.



Not quite a story, but compelling
Kelly Roell 12:38pm

Not quite a story, but hilarious
french sojourn 1:06pm


Not quite a story, but intense!
Foy Iver 1:15pm





Here are the entries that made the long list:

Janice L. Grinyer 10:30am
Kim English 1:05p 
nightmusic 5:06pm

Claire 6:42pm
Annaka 8:09pm
Michael Seese 8:15pm

John Frain 3:29am







Here are the finalists:

Colin Smith 10:13am

Sam yawned and stretched across the bed. Fleur walked up to him, bending down to nibble his ear.

"Hey tiger," she whispered. "Ready to go Stalking?"

"Hmmm," Sam said with deep satisfaction. "Where’s Lucy? Did they whisker away?"

"No. She’s sleeping off supper. Ate too much."

"Then we must prey for her," Sam grinned. He licked the side of Fleur's face.

“Purrfect,” she sighed.

A neighbor found Minnie's decapitated remains the next morning.



I love the wordplay here: "whisker away" "prey for her" And notice how the syllable "purr" appears like a dash of spice: whispered; supper, fleur.  That innate rhythm in the story gives it an energy. It's like music. It needs a good rhythm section or it just sounds bland!



Marie McKay 2:44pm
I didn't tell them I heard a heavy buzzing sound- a purring- coming from his cradle.
When he learned to move on all fours, he wasn't so different from the other kids.
I bit my lip when he scratched through bathtimes, and braced myself when I had to cut off his whiskers.

The media circus still came, stalking him like prey. They tagged their work DOCUMENTARY since their medium was box-shaped, not tent.

But mothers know sacrifice.

Escaping to the hills, one day, I kissed his exquisite whiskers, before setting my Tiger Boy free.


Two lines  just took my breath away are: "They tagged their work Documentary, since their medium was box-shaped not tent."  and "But mothers know sacrifice."


Those sentences give this piece poignancy and irony. It's not only a story about a mother and son; it's about us, the reader as well. You don't read this from a distance; you're right there.

This piece is an entire life in 90 words. It's brilliant.



amy Schaefer 4:49pm
He was gray and whiskery, like an elderly tiger, or a Norse god gone to seed. Jacqueline traced the lines of his face carefully, curiously. She felt a welling of proprietary pride.

“Jackie! Get off that giant!” Her mother threw a tea towel across her shoulder. “Kids these days, cutting down beanstalks. Now I’m stuck with a rotting giant carcass in my yard in the heat of summer. I mean really…”

Jacqueline jumped off the corpse, spurred more by her own plans than her mother’s complaints. She had eggs to sell, a harp to enjoy.

And new prey to seek


This is hilarious. And it's one of my very favorite things: an old story seen in a very different light.




kdjames 5:26pm
Deep purring and a heavy weight on my chest wake me. I pry open sleep-heavy eyes to gorgeous tiger-striped fur and a rough pink tongue cleaning something darker off whiskers.

Slowly, so slowly, I turn my head and see the mangled prey beside me.

My stomach lurches even as the warm weight lifts.

Come on safari, he said. We'll only shoot photos.

Bloody liar.

I feel dreadful affinity, watching the powerful beast stalk back through the gaping tear in the side of the tent.

We both now have a mate who will leave this place in a box.

I love the double meaning of "bloody liar" and the idea that the tiger is taking revenge.  And "dreadful affinity" really gives us a sense of complex emotions in a perfect bell-note phrase.





Curtis Moser 5:35pm
Robin lay on the floor, holding his longbow limply over his head. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Father. My whiskers don't work, my purrer is broken--even my stalker is malfunctioning."

"It's because you're a fox, not a tiger."

Robin considered this. "Maybe I'm a tiger in a fox's body?"

The clerical mouse was only half-listening. "That's against God's will."

"Great. Now I'm confused and depressed."

"Pray about it."

Robin put his longbow down and sat up. "You think preying will help?"

"Perhaps."

Robin pounced.

"I'll be damned," he said, licking his chops. "The good Father was right."


I love the word play of pray/prey, and "my stalker isn't working" and the double meaning of "good." Those kinds of clever juxtapositions are delightful. And of course, the idea that homonyms can kill you is VERY appealing.




flashfriday 7:24pm
Master calls me Muffin which is PERFECT she is the BEST THING that ever happened to me since I forget when but Master SAVED ME she SAVED ME I love her with all my heart she is PURE BEAUTY how I can please her today I am going to LICK HER and JUMP ON HER and CHEW ON HER SHOES and—

Enough, limp-whiskers. Learn one word: prey. Stalk tiger-like. Think tiger-like. Be a damn tiger. This house is MINE. Your “Master” is my SLAVE. She will aid my world domination. She-—HEY, I—-hey—-you brought me catnip?

WOOF!

Purrrrrrrr.


This is a really interesting case study in editing. There was an earlier entry (at 6:42pm) that I liked, but it didn't really elevate to the short list.  Then, this revised entry, where it's now clear that it's a puppy (not a kitten) and a cat, makes it clearer and more funny  I don't know when flashfriday realized it could be improved (somewhere between 6:42pm and 7:24pm presumably) but I love this cause it underscores how important both revision and re-reading can be.

Also, of course, I like the story!


Kregger: 7:36pm
Tiger Shark slipped under the Moon by a whisker. Its hyper-drive engines purred as they gobbled anti-matter and tritium.

Captain Newmar stalked the bridge in her curvaceous latex-jumpsuit and stepped behind Lieutenant Foo.

“Here…? Why?” the diminutive-oriental pilot queried.

“The dark city’s our oyster, I prey.” The captain’s muscles tensed.

The vessel approached Gotham under a cloak of invisibility.

Newmar donned her hooded cape and prepared to eject into the city’s cesspool of chiroptera guano.

“Bats’ll be good hunting this year.” She removed her uniform and stepped into the transporter, saluting Too Won Foo, “Thanks for everything,” said Julie Newmar.



Holy smokes Batman! This is so subtly hilarious I just don't want to explain it.  The only problem is the movie title is missing a letter, and I can't figure out if it's a mistake or done on purpose. And "chiroptera guano" in Gotham City is just perfect.




E.M. Goldsmith 9:47am

Rain again.

“What the Hell, little brother?” Luc asked.

“Making a better garden,” Joe said.

Luc laughed. “That’s a flood. What's that?"

“Lamprey.”

“No, not your damn fish. That?”

“It’s a tiger.”

“It’s being stalked by a shark.”

“Luc! Stop adding things,” Joe said.

“You’ll thank me for the boat. Mammals drown. Turn off the rain.”

“Why are you helping?”

“Judgment Day comes soon. My world is already perfect.”

Luc spurred Joe’s anger.

“Says who?”

“Dad,” Luc said. “What’s that whiskered fellow doing?”

“Praying.”

“Why?”

“So I’ll help.”

“Joe, that’s cheating. You’re supposed remain invisible to your creation.”



I'm not sure I agree that Joe and Luc can be brothers, but let's suspend the theology for the sake of the story.  I love this because it's highly original and it's also funny without being comic, and it makes you think. "My world is already perfect" should give you something to gnaw on for a good long time. 




I think each of these finalists are amazing and prize worthy. It's getting harder to choose each week. I'm only sorry Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl was unable to choose.  She stared at the screen for a moment, but was then distracted by a dust mote.

In the end though, I had to choose the one that just took my breath away when I first read it.  Those first reads are often the benchmark. When I read this one I knew instantly it was an entry that would be on the short list. 

It never lost any of its power in subsequent readings.


Our winner this week is: Marie McKay 2:44pm 

Marie, if you'll email me with your preferred mailing address, and the kinds of books you like to read, we'll get your prize in the mail.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to enter. I love reading what you write. You surprise and amaze me every week.

Congratulations to all our short and long list entries. The competiton is fierce, and subjective. Many of you will find your entry is someone's favorite as you read the comments to come!

 

WIR delayed

Yes, I'm busy petting the cat, not doing the Week In Review.

Sorry.

But she's very purry and likes to sit on me. It's hard to type when a cat is using you as her chaise lounge.