Week In Review 12/20/15

Welcome to the week that was.

In last week's review Megan V tried to backpeddle on her reading achievement

About the 493...I want to clarify that the count was for books not novels. I read a lot of MG books, which are significantly shorter in length than a novel (but were/are very helpful for me as I also write MG).

but we're not having any of that, no sirree bubba.  493 books, be they novels, chapbooks, or cuneiform tablets all count. And that's a LOT of reading. I thought I was doing well with about 50!

Jennifer R. Donhue had a very good question:

Wait, is Barbara Poelle Shark #2, or is she a slithery snake? Is she perhaps a slithery sea serpent? Maybe we just need to put agents in a separate part of the Internet with a splash page that says "HERE BE MONSTERS" so you can click "savvy" to sail those seas or "abandon ship" to return to safer waters.

She's my slithery competitor and a shark, and a brilliant agent.  She's not really a serpent although I have seen her unhinge her jaw to eat her body weight in cheese products (she's a Minnesota girl after all!)

And I love your idea about the splash page.

Jennifer R. Donohue and I think alike on reading flap copy:

On the topic of jacket copy....I hardly ever read it. And when I do read it, it's almost always after I've finished the book. I frequently find jacket copy to either be maddeningly inaccurate, or to give too much away

Me too! I particularly avoid reading it on books I know I'll read (like the Reacher books.) I want to start with the very freshest eyes and enjoy every reveal without knowing it's coming.  Oddly, I absolutely cannot read requested fulls in that state of mind.  I have no idea why that is.  Perhaps one of our psychology majors can enlighten us!

I think we need to add this to the list of "How do you know if you're a writer?"  John Frain told us:

I learned an interesting thing about being a writer on Friday. My son (who is okay now, so I'm safe to type) had a horrific accident on his skateboard that gave him a concussion and massive amounts of blood from a head wound. As a nurse was helping him, this thought occurred to me: I need to make a change to my manuscript where my character gets a head wound -- it bleeds much more than I showed in the pages. I was completely lost in my ms until the nurse asked me a question ... for a second time. Writer 1, Parent 0.

You know you're a writer when you stand in the ER comforting your son, and thinking "I've got to revise that scene, these headwounds really bleed a lot!"

And it says nothing good about me either that I laughed out loud when I read John's comment.

Fortunately I was not alone. Emi PdeS said:

Good lord, John Frain, "Writer 1, Parent 0" had me in tears (in the best of ways). Be honest now, because it seems you're the perfect one to ask: Say it's the other way around, and you're a doctor having a discussion with a patient's parents, when they suddenly something that fits perfectly with that plot you've been tinkering with. Would it be terribly frowned upon to ask them to hold that thought mid-diagnosis while you scribble something down in your shark-sticker-plastered notebook?

I wonder if we should have a blog pool on the outcome of this version of The Amazing Race from Amy Schaefer:

The race is on. Amy has two days make it home for Christmas before her brother, or she'll miss out on the good guest room and be stuck with creaky 100-year-old single bed on the windy side of the house. It should be easy - except she is trying to get from Papua New Guinea to Toronto. Between reluctant children continuously unpacking their bags, a husband on the verge of running off to meetings on the other side of the planet and a byzantine list of flight changes, the trip looks next-to-impossible - never mind she is fighting off pneumonia and wandering around wearing the facial aftermath of a lost fight with a closet door. Will Amy and her family make that 41 minute connection in Chicago? Or is it going to be a windy Christmas?

I for one am eager to hear how it turns out!

Speaking of high stakes, Emi PdeS picked up on my shocking lack of movie creds:

On a separate note, what I really want to know after this delightful WIR, is whether Janet ever got around to watching Miracle on 34th Street. Her claim to New Yorker status truly is in question, and the proper authorities have been notified pending her answer.

I beg the indulgence of the authorities for a continuance on this. I'm reading manuscripts this week, and there is a (thankfully dwindling) group of writers gathered under my office window, heating vats of oil and holding torches, chanting "where's my manuscript, where's my manuscript." I fear them!

On Monday we talked about the flash fiction contest and the winner John Frain

Jennifer R. Donohue said:

Also, did you know that some shops online sell spoons embossed with "cereal killer"?

On Tuesday I suggested Thing Explainer for people on your gift list that are notoriously difficult to please.

Wendy Quails cautioned:

I LOVED "What If," but I wouldn't recommend it for younger kids unless they don't get scared easily. Many, many, many of the "what if"s end up with massive death tolls - and even though my 7-year-old was eager to read the book with me, she's just not ready to wrap her head around "X million people would die of radiation poisoning" or "here's this interesting way this mushroom kills you" or "here's how the earth would get destroyed."

For older kids or anyone with a morbid sense of humor, though, it's really fascinating. And it doesn't require any real amount of physics or math knowledge to appreciate.

Michael Seese has another approach

Usually, I just give them a bottle of MY favorite wine. Then I wait for the invite...

And I loved this idea from SiSi:

Since I can no longer keep up with the books my niece has read, I'm giving her a "Book Coupon" for Christmas--she can ask for 10 books throughout the year. (I'm hoping some of these are cheap paperbacks or ones I can find used!)

To go along with the coupon, I'm giving her a list of books I recommend for her, and I'm adding both of these to the list!

And this from Dave Rudden cracked me up

Thank you for the great ideas. I normally just wrap up a big pack of toilet paper. The size gets everyone excited about the possibilities of what is inside and everyone needs toilet paper.

As did this from Karen McCoy.

    Secret Santa is great--it's the white elephants you have to watch out for.

    I ended up unwrapping something at a white elephant that no one wanted to trade. NO ONE.

    Someone had dragged this thing out of their attic and didn't bother dusting it off before wrapping it. A board game from the 1970s for "couples." Previously opened, and very used.

    And yes, I did the walk of shame and took it home with me. No one fessed up.

On Wednesday I suggested TINY BEAUTIFUL THINGS by Cheryl Strayed for people on your gift list who need comfort

This book resonated with many of you, and the comments you posted, and the responses to them were lovely. I'm reminded once again that the comment section of this blog is what makes this place special.

CarolynnWith2Ns comment on the next day's blog post says it best:

Hey Reiders, I’m breaking the rules. Please let me share yesterday’s magical moment.

Ten minutes before I left for work yesterday I jumped on FB and checked out a post made by the husband of a dear friend and family member by marriage. The piece he posted was written three years ago, shortly after the Sandy Hook tragedy, and two years before the young writer’s own death. A hell of a writer, her words were very powerful. She quoted, DEAR SUGAR in part, and not having a clue who or what DEAR SUGAR was I read, remembered and was deeply moved.
Mere minutes before I had to leave, I jumped over here. My breath caught, my heart raced, there it was, DEAR SUGAR.

I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in messages, some subtle and some in-your-face, some thump-head and kick-in-the-ass-to-get-your-attention messages. This was all of them.

On the way to work yesterday, and all day long, all I thought about was DEAR SUGAR. Last night I bought the Kindle version because I simply could not wait to read what had been presented to me as a magical moment. I am a third of the way through and it is one of the most amazing books I have read.

And the rules are there for the usual things. There's no penalty for breaking the 100-word limit on posts like this.

On Thursday we talked about one of my favorite books of the year: Vargic's Miscellany of Curious Maps.

Turns out it was one of your faves too.

On Friday we talked about craft books

This is the post that generated the most comments, although about half of them were wonderfully and hilariously completely off topic.

In a contest of one, Colin Smith gets first prize for this

The noise from the chicken house woke me instantly. When I cracked open the door, I heard the distinctive click of a rifle being cocked.

“Hold it! One more step—hen gets it.”

I felt my heart sinking. The writing was on the wall for Belle, her eyes staring into the barrels, but unwilling to part with her precious eggs.

Suddenly, the room filled with clucks and clicks, as every bird in the house pulled a gun. Even Belle had a Glock aimed at the intruder’s forehead.

He dropped his rifle and ran for the door, tail between his legs.


Sorry, it's Friday and I couldn't resist. :)

But honestly, he'd probably have won if there were 100 entries, this is so hilarious (AND on topic, if you'll notice the bolded words)

Jerry said:

They’ve been around for a long time, but just about any of Lawrence Block’s books arrowroot reading; I think I saw on Facebook that Writing the Novel is coming out again.

and the odd thing is I knew he meant "are worth" even though it said "arrowroot" even before his next comment:

Autocorrect is getting stranger and stranger. Just about any of Lawrence Block’s books are worth reading.

Which of course made me think this could be an interesting plot point. Characters text, autocorrect skews, mayhem ensues.  Fortunately all I have to do is think it up, I'm sure I can find a writer to write it, and then we'll split the profits!

Wait, why am I on fire??


On Saturday we talked about present versus past tense.  


Karen McCoy said:

Oh my gosh, thank you! My current WIP is almost third draft finished and I was concerned about it being in present tense because I was told that it wouldn't be readable (by someone who hasn't yet read the manuscript). I think I'll go with it until I get some more tangible feedback...but seems to be working so far.

Well, I'm not sure you want to pay attention to someone telling you "this doesn't work" if they haven't actually, yanno, read the book.

It's akin to my favorite Amazon review recently (I wish I could find the screen shot of it!) that gave the book five stars and the review said "it sounds good, I'm going to buy it."

E.M. Goldsmith said

When I lay down my time and money on a book, I wish to be compelled, whisked away, shown life in some new way. I don't want to care about what your verb tense is doing.

I heartily concur.

And CynthiaMc cracked me up with this:

(If hell really is first person present tense I'm straightening up my act right now).

Dena Pawling had a reminder of the real world for us:

On an entirely unrelated note, my firm has received EIGHT Clerk's Notices of Trial, setting trials on calendar for December 24. Yes, courts are setting EVICTION TRIALS on Christmas Eve. No Sheriff department is Grinch enough to perform actual lockouts on Christmas Eve, but apparently the Grinch is now domiciled in the court system.

Which reminded me of my first year after high school, when I took a gap year and had a job. I was shocked to my shoes that they expected me to show up on the Friday after Thanksgiving AND work on Christmas Eve.  After years in school, on the school schedule, it had never dawned on me that you didn't get all those school holiday off when you entered the real world.

Let me tell you I enrolled so quickly in college I think I might have hand delivered my tuition check!

I feel bad for people getting evicted at Christmas just on general principles but I have a feeling if we heard the stories behind the eviction we might not be quite so tender hearted.

Monday we're back to questions on publishing matters. I hope all of you are having a lovely holiday filled with people you love and events you enjoy.

Subheading noms:

Lead your reader down the path and pull out the rug instead of giving them the ending they suspect.--John Frain

This really is a marvelous group of people. I marvel here a lot.--DLM

Present tense, does that mean I get ten presents?--CarolynnWith2Ns


Y'all make me so happy I'm thinking about hiring someone to help me enjoy this place. Thank you.  --Julie M. Weathers