Monday, September 23, 2019

woefully behind, what else is new-with update

I'm behind this morning, I'm sorry.
I had a book on editorial deadline this weekend, and by 5pm Sunday, when I reached The End,
and sent it back to the client I looked like this;




There was only one thing to do:
call for sushi



then Netflix and chill



What did you do on Sunday?


UPDATE!
 Dear SharkForBrains:
There's like a 99% chance that you know this, but I was the 1% who didn't until somebody told me I was confusing people a bit as to my intentions so here goes...

Netflix & Chill, at least among my millennial peers, refers specifically to putting Netflix on so there is background noise then engaging in sexual activities with somebody. If that's what you meant to say about your Sunday evening, more power to you.

I, on the other hand, was using it to mean 'relax' and really confused the heck out of some of my soldiers by telling them (after they did something dumb) to go back to their shared hotel room and "netflix and chill" instead of going to the bars with their buddies.

They, knowing the common meaning, thought their commanding officer was ordering two men, both married to women, to engage in sexual relations. It was awkward. Really awkward. And then undeniably funny, after they asked for clarification. It totally threw off the momentum of the ass-chewing, which is almost impossible to recover from.

uh, no.
I'm very very mortified to find myself in that 1% with you.


52 comments:

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Now Janet, I don't want you to feel jealous or anything. I mean, really, don't feel bad. Yesterday I got to open a brand new can of Sherwin Williams and with adept exactness cover the walls of my new in-law apartment in the barest of calming beiges.
I love the smell of Sherwin Williams in the morning.
Today...the pleasure continues.

french sojourn said...


Yesterday was rainy...finally. The Vineyard was harvested last week, and our chambre' d'hote just closed for the season, so Cindy and I enjoyed reading for a few hours...bliss.

It's funny how luxurious down time can finally can be. I hope there is some in your near future.

Cheers, Hank

nightsmusic said...

I spent the day on the couch (wasn't feeling well and my left foot is still really sore) with a good, really good book. Anne Frasier's Jude Fontaine series. It was excellent, but the series ended all too soon :(

Kitty said...

Good thing I checked my comment. I made a HUGE error. :O

Here's the correct comment: I hope it wasn't gas station sushi.

That wasn't my only error. St first I typed gas station susie, but I caught it in time. Sorry I didn't catch the other.

Fearless Reider said...

I had a marvelous time at church, brewed 18 liters of coffee (which might have had something to do with the marvelous time we all had). Spent the afternoon eavesdropping on my husband coaching his LEGO League team (it’s all going into a book someday). Topped off the day with re-reading a favorite book, THE FALL OF A SPARROW by Robert Hellenga. Hope there’s some relaxation and great books in the near future for all y’all!

KariV said...

I'm behind too. Yesterday was church, then football, then a NAP! I should have been writing, but no regrets! Playtime with my kiddos and exercise rounded off the day.

Stacy said...

I cooked copious amounts of soup and pot roast. And read, of course. And check out Netflix's new show CRIMINAL.

Megan V said...

I went hiking in the small range of mountains near my home yesterday morning. The pups really liked that and were surely and truly tuckered out afterward, which allowed me a solid 6-hour writing and editing period, during which I occasionally looked up from my computer and lamented the sad state of my house. This coming Sunday will definitely be a scour the floors kind of Sunday.

JulieWeathers said...


I went to a delayed birthday party for Munchkin number one whose birthday is the day after mine. If his mother had been considerate, she could have had him one day earlier you would think. He was with his mom on his birthday last week, so we had a second party yesterday. Love my munchkins.

Then, my carpenter showed up and finished putting in my kitchen sink. I now have a black granite kitchen sink, an antique bronze faucet, in my petrified wood countertops.

I've been without a functioning kitchen since November, so I am in rejoice mode. It started out, "Well, I'll fix this spot under the sink."

"Oh, the whole cabinet floor is rotted out."

"No, the whole floor is rotted out."

Ponder. Ponder. Ponder.

"Sigh. Ok, we'll need to replace them."

Search craigslist for cabinets coming out of a remodel. Eventually find a lovely set of custom, solid hickory cabinets for a reasonable price. Very reasonable. They are worth thousands.

The couple I have hired to go get them on New Year's Eve are fighting and the local very small town deputy decides to follow them instead of the three drunks who pass them. Probably because the homeowner called him when they didn't leave right away. They stopped to tie the cabinets down securely and she wanted them to just hurry up and leave, she had a party to get ready for. "Sorry, we have to tie these down or they will be flying off the trailer."

"Can't you do it somewhere else?"

Anyway, they are battling and I fully expect to see an evening news story with a couple on the side of the highway tossing cabinets at each other, but the cabinets make it home. Yay!

Except, there are twenty plus cabinets, many of them large cabinets, stacked everywhere in my trailer until we get the other cabinets torn out.

Look, I have a habitrail!

I mostly have cabinets installed aside from the ones I am cannibalizing. I'll need to build two cabinets, but the rest were perfect fits. One cabinet will be a bookcase for cookbooks.

(I wonder if I'm over 100 words yet.)

Cabinets in, they are gorgeous. Countertops in. They are gorgeous aside from there first carpenter screwed up the miter seam. I'll figure something out. Last carpenter is a perfectionist. The Marine in him, I expect. I love him.

Why, yes, I have hugged my countertops several times.

I'm thinking about the rest of the kitchen and dining room to come. Toile wallpaper and pressed tin backsplash. Eclectic, but so am I.

So, someone on Twitter Sunday posted something that got me thinking. Oh, no. The trailer has a cathedral ceiling, so I have extra area to play with on one living room wall. I already decided to paint two buff suede.

So, what if I did a relief scene with elk and mountains and painted it in a thin opal paint so it looked alabaster?

It's just a trailer.

Yes, but it's my trailer.

That was my Sunday.

Sorry for the tome.



NLiu said...

Church, Thai food, flash entry, did laundry, entertained the kids, made dinner, crashed on sofa. May or may not have been in that order!

Those polar bears are cool. Pun intended.

RosannaM said...

Sunday saw us playing a game of Tetris with all our worldly possessions, loving each and every one of them just the slightest bit less as the day wore on. Those commercials where they leave a container in your driveway and everyone happily stacks boxes, and the furniture isn't heavy and located on the second floor, and it isn't raining on you for the first two hours? Yeah, that's fiction. Not a fiction novel, but a life fiction. I think there are a lot of life fictions out there.

Sunday evening I made spaghetti, cause I like warm and savory at all times, but especially after the above sort of day, and no one delivers out here, not even pizza!. And had a hot bath, and read a book in bed (if by bed you mean a mattress on the floor), with a goose neck lamp on two stacked upside down drawers illuminating the pages.

It was heaven.

Today I woke up to the outline of the trees against the faintly lightening sky visible through the naked windows. Another day of bliss ahead as we close down this chapter.

I write this sitting on a lawn chair in the bonus room. It is our room with a view, truly a bonus, that overlooks Puget Sound. We will miss it. My footrest is a bucket that we used just once when we thought we might like to brew our own beer. We still think that, (oh, the lies we tell ourselves!) but it hasn't yet made the cut for inclusion into the POD. Buckets do not Tetris well with straight edged companions.

Well, the coffee is done. Happy Monday everyone!

Claire Bobrow said...

Yesterday my husband treated me to a lovely birthday lunch, and we took the dogs on a nice, long walk.

Today I'm at the airport, on my way to the Jersey Shore for a kidlit writing retreat.
Best part of the trip so far: meeting Ryan Higgins' mom and step-dad in the security line!

Lennon Faris said...

I finished up my edits for my WIP last night. It's a YA fantasy at 111K words which clearly wasn't in the plan. I can only hope that time and betas will point out some useless fluff I don't see yet.

2Ns - fresh paint does smell fantastic, doesn't it? worth a few brain cells...

Megan V - the house vs the writing is always a constant battle!

Karen McCoy said...

I also took a recharge day on Sunday. Saw Downton Abbey, followed by lunch. Then laundry, before packing to stay with my brother in Napa--I work in San Francisco Mondays and staying here helps shorten the commute. Like Hank, we are also in the harvest season here (but we do not own a vineyard).

JulieWeathers said...

Claire Happy birthday!

Lennon You go girl. You'll figure it out. For now, congratulations. Good job.

CynthiaMc said...

Woo hoo! Fall has come to Florida - it was 86 yesterday - first day in a while i was able to take the pups for a walk without danger of spontaneous combustion.

Claire Bobrow said...

Thank you, Julie! Sounds like you’re a September baby, too. Happy Birthday!!

Miles O'Neal said...

We drove down to San Marcos (about an hour, NBD) to see a dear friend get ordained, then went to a celebratory pot-luck fajita lunch in her honor. Came home for a half hour, then I went to a four hour class. Worship yesterday morning was awesome but physically exhausting, and the class was emotionally draining (in a great way), so I'm starting today tired but energized.

[People from San Marcos are sometimes called San Martians, so insert pic of Marvin the Martian since polar bears don't apply here.]

That's 89 words so adding this gets me to 100. Perfect.

flashfriday said...

We played a home version of Chopped: the entree round ingredients (chosen by one of the younger chefs) were Cheerios, garbanzo beans, French cut green beans, and Squirt. I am pleased to report 1) all contenders got all four basket ingredients on the plate, and 2) the judge successfully choked down bites of everything, and appears to have not perished in the attempt. I'll have you know I cobbled together a mini chicken pot pie (Cheerios crust) topped by a garbanzo bean & Squirt crisp, accompanied by a salad with a curiously refreshing green bean & Squirt dressing. Dessert round at some point today; I trust you all are at the edge of your seats in anticipation, just like our judge. :D

Megan V said...

Lennon way to go! and also, yes, the sad true story of the writer's neglected homes lol

flashfriday I do believe my dogs are salivating at the prospect of food snuck to the floor. ;)

Brenda said...

Is there such a thing as gas station sushi? The mind boggles.

Craig F said...

I spent the day working on my angry writing and venting a part of my wrath. In other words, I wrote scathing reviews of my dermatologist. They more than made me angry and need to have their uppity, incompetent attitudes adjusted.

Have an appointment with a malpractice attorney this afternoon.

Happy Birthday Clare

Jennifer R. Donohue said...

Sunday saw me finishing this draft of "Run With the Hunted 2" and then taking Ulrike to the dog park for her standing playdate with her best friend and then racking my brains for a real title for "Run With the Hunted 2: __________" because I used "Electric Boogaloo" as a jokey placeholder for a little too long.

I'll maybe start my rewrite/edits/merciless chopping today because now I know what's going on and no longer have to talk myself into the story.

John Davis Frain said...

I was quite content to grin and go on with my day thinking, a little TMI from Janet for a Monday, but hey, as Yogi Berra liked to day, it ain't bragging if you done it.

KariV said...

@Janet - until very recently, I too belonged to the 1% ...

@CynthiaMc - Florida has been glorious these past few days. I just want to be outside

@Lennon - congrats. I'm FAR from finishing my edits. #failure

Laura S. said...

Started and almost finished my first Louise Penny book, loving it!

Pericula Ludus said...

I have now cleaned tea off my laptop screen twice in one post because of my guffawing at first the openness in sharing the Sunday night activities and then the story of the soldiers. Future posts may appear somewhat Earl-Grey-speckled to me, but... worth it.

Timothy Lowe said...

"The momentum of the ass-chewing" is my new all-time favorite phrase.

Kelli Mahan said...

Spent all day Saturday helping DH install ordering system monitors in a new Carl's Jr. restaurant (he's a network field engineer; I'm just extra hands). After dinner, I finished editing a new cozy mystery for an independent author.

Sunday was laundry in between 10 half pints of peach jam, 14 quarts of sliced peaches, 10 quarts of apple pie filling, and 10 quarts of applesauce. Watched the NASCAR race we recorded Saturday night, with homemade pizza for dinner. All in all, a satisfying weekend! :)

Marie McKay said...

I looked earlier and did wonder if I was missing some sort of in-joke, but now I am giggling uncontrollably at the update!And John Davis Frain's comment has sent me right over the edge. Need to calm myself, can't have the kids asking what it is I am so amused about!

Adele Cabot said...

Took a seminar in query letter writing! Watch out slush pile, here I come!!

RosannaM said...

1%er here!

nightsmusic said...

Also a 1% here...

John Davis Frain said...

Marie, I was so flustered with a peek into Janet's Sunday night (which piqued my interest to its peak) that I gave Yogi Berra credit when it should've gone to Dizzy Dean.

But as Yogi would tell you, "I never said half the things people say I said." Including that.

Marie McKay said...

John I'm ashamed to say I hadn't heard of either of those guys until now. (I did look them up, though.)
I'm Scottish; we don't play much baseball here.

Karen McCoy said...

Not in the 1%...but was so tired this morning when I read your post it didn't even register...

Heidi Kenyon said...

Saturday we went to my 13-yo son's first sailing regatta, which entailed standing on shore with binoculars, wondering what was going on. But fortunately most of the standing occurred in the beer garden, so that was OK. Sunday I finished my last (ok, ok, I know that's a lie I tell myself) round of edits and THEN, after much dithering about the cover letters, sent the ms off to the three agents who requested it at PNWA last week! As a reward we watched Stranger Than Fiction (again) and I congratulated myself on being not quite THAT neurotic of a writer.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I wouldn't call it 1% personally - I know a lot people (mostly older) who have only heard the phrase out of context and just assumed that it was just a new way to say lazing around watching movies.

As I age, I find myself checking urban dictionary more and more often. It's depressing.

Theresa said...

Spent part of rainy yesterday reading Louise Penny's latest. After reading Julie's post, I've got a bad case of kitchen envy.

I always thought that Neflix phrase was meant to be adaptable to circumstances.

nightsmusic said...

Okay, that's it. I've looked at the Louise Penny books before but two of you are lauding her so she's now on my list. ;)

Richelle Elberg said...

Saturday I read a Greg Hurwitz Orphan X novel--really good! I got it free from NetGalley, so then I went and bought another and read it too. He's got great pacing, plotting and dialogue.

Sunday I opened my WIP and pretended to work on it while mostly watching football all day and losing at Fantasy Football.

Richelle Elberg said...

And Louise Penney is delish!

KDJames said...

That update is hilarious. Congrats on finishing the edit and handing it back for more writerly torment.

I spent yesterday excavating the Pleistocene era in my dining room, where all things go to die but instead somehow just manage to collect dust. And spiders. I called it quits for the day after killing the second one and watching a third JUMP back into the pile I was deconstructing. The evening was spent on a conference call discussing what will be life-altering events. Good changes, but still a PITA to implement.

Happy Birthday, Claire! I hope the retreat is wonderfully productive.

Laura S. said...

nightmusic, I found out about Louise Penny from another source, but when The Great Janet lauded her shortly thereafter (http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2019/09/flash-fiction-contest-results.html), I knew I was on to something.

nightsmusic said...

Laura S. I bought her first book. It's on my TBR so I'll get to her soon. I blew through all three of the Jude Fontaine books by Anne Fraser in a day and a half, so it won't be long. :)

Fearless Reider said...

Pre-millennial 99%’er, but I figure that whatever sharks get up to on their own time is none of my business, until it hits the front page of Publishers Weekly. Happy birthday, Claire, and congrats, Lennon!

LynnRodz said...

LOL! Whoever wrote to you was hilarious. I'm also a 1%er, but I must ask, what are these millennials thinking? Netflix as background noise! What happened to smooth jazz or other musical tastes to enhance the mood? I know music isn't what it used to be, but Netflix, really?

Anyhoo, yesterday was a rainy day so hubs and I didn't do much. I read the latest Musso novel and then decided to go into the kitchen to see what my French chef husband was whipping up. I don't usually venture in there, but when he has people requesting private classes for big bucks, I thought maybe I should be learning a thing or two myself. Not a good idea, I'm a 'clean as you go' fanatic and he's used to 'using every pot, pan, and utensil in sight.' *sigh* I'll just have to settle for him preparing dinner for me each night and me being the clean-up crew afterwards. It's worked well for us so far so why spoil things?

Lennon Faris said...

Like John I assumed it was a bold, bold bit of humor. Anyway, it's even funnier now.

Thank you folks, for the congrats!

Emma said...

hahahah, the update! geez... 1%er here as well. I ended up asking my teenage son over dinner what the phrase meant and he gave me the PG version.

I can understand checking urban dictionary for things you don't know, but what to do about the things you don't know you don't know? Hmmm?

Okay, Sunday I wrote. Wrote, wrote, drank a lot of tea and wrote some more, and now I have a finished first draft of a short story. So that was good.

And today is my birthday! So I took the day off from work, went to Storm King Art Center over here in upstate NY (which is a gorgeous sculpture park on 500 acres of woodland, prairie, and rolling hills), had sushi for dinner (during which I got confirmation on the Netflix and Chill thing,) and lovingly caressed my brand new stove, which was my birthday present from the family.

Claire Bobrow said...

It's raining birthdays around here! Happy Birthday, Emma!!


Lisa Bodenheim said...

Wow...what a fun trail of comments to giggle through! A great ending to my Monday night! Thank you Janet and Reiders.

Miles O'Neal said...

The joys of being a youth pastor (untitled these days, but still)- I am familiar with the spectrum of meanings. Especially given that (a) this is Janet and (b) there were *three* bears in that pic, I assumed the truly chill meaning.