Which means, thanks to Mum, they're in storage "Just in case" rather than in the donation box at St. Lucy's School for Wayward Sharks
Just in case of what, I'm not sure.
A Klan rally breaks out in my bathroom?
I'm called upon to dress ghosts for the Met Gala?
I'll need to smuggle them into St. Lucy's to facilitate a daring midnight breakout?
More likely they'll just sit there, unused, for a decade.
When my dear grandmama departed for the Astral Plane, we found linens in her airing cupboard that had been folded and stored for so many years they had discolored at the fold line.
But logic isn't in play here. Nope. It's my mum, who never threw anything away, taught by her mum, who didn't either. I'm third generation "I might need it some day."
Enter my newest enabler: The Container Store.
When you don't throw anything away, ever, you need stuff to put your stuff in.
And whatever evil genius came up with the idea of a store for storage, well, clearly a member of my family, probably my grandmama's daughter too.
So, now that it's not exactly winter and spring cleaning time is nigh, The Container Store begins its sinister campaign:
CS: Those sheets are getting dusty just sitting there. They should go in this pretty box. It's made to fit right on top of your rolling garment rack.
Me: Oh that is so elegant! I need one. No TWO!
CS: You have three garment racks.
Me: Right! Three!
CS: You only need to spend a bit more for free shipping.
Me: oh this is so cute! And sharkly!
CS: You really can't have enough shark in your house. Plus, don't you need to buy a gift soon for La Slitherina Herself??
Me: YES! I do. Let's make that two more bins.
CS: If you spend just a bit more, you get a 30% discount!
Me: I really want, NEED, ....
Let me check the customer reviews on those storage boxes.
CS: Free shipping.Big discount! Elegant living!
Me: no, let me read these...2 stars? FLIMSY? Fabric covered cardboard???
CS: Shark bags!
Me: NO! You are a trickster! I see through you! I'm not ordering any of this.
(clicks browser window closed)
(opens new window to look at paint colors)
Benjamin Moore browser: oh welcome back my beloved. Have you thought about orange?
Some time passes
Me: (checks email)
CS: Did you forget your basket? You have items just waiting to come to your house and help you look elegant, organized and pulled together.
Me: NO! UNSUBSCRIBE
CS: We're sorry you want to leave us. It will take ten days to remove you from our mailing list.
Me: I really wish I had a better way to store these leftover napkins from the carryout bags.
CS: We're here for you!
Me: And those sheets are really getting dusty without a box.
CS: And that shark hamper you wanted for BaPo? It's now on SALE!
Resistance is a bitch.