Saturday, March 30, 2019

Ink Stained Wench Flash semi-fiction contest results!

We had a LOT of entries for this flash semi-fiction contest!
Thank all deities I had the foresight to limit the word count or I'd still be reading.

What works and what doesn't is largely subjective but there are a few entries here that do have useful, objective, tips!

Thanks to all of you who took the time to write and enter.
Here are the ones that stood out for me.


AJ Blythe said...
I’m an Aussie environmental scientist who has experience caring for native wildlife (the furry kind, not just my kids). Having previously owned a pooch with criminal tendencies, I am now shadowed by a schnoodle with separation anxiety.
That last clause is great!

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...
I'm a writer, a reader, a beach-comber and a tortoise-owner. Many of my creepy little tales are out prowling in print and lurking online. My flash fiction collection, Garden of Lost Souls, will give you a taste of my work. Just be careful something doesn't taste you back.
That last line really nails it.


Jenn Griffin said...
Jenn Griffin is an author and accountant who finds balance in life through conservative yoga, incautious reading and unprejudiced sarcasm.
Utterly appealing.

Megan V said...
Megan V is an ace attorney with a dastardly plan to escape the Arizona heat. All she needs is a good book, a comfy chair, and a dog. The first two have been acquired. The third...well...the neighbor cat has the final say on that and Megan is still waiting on her paw of approval.

Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl thinks you are making a poor life choice.
And will be glad to enlighten you. At length.


Steve Forti said...
(there's gotta be a better blurb I can use)

I am a writer and IT project manager whose mind bounces between novels and flash fiction. I live in Massachusetts with my wife and two kids (though she’ll insist she lives with three kids). My work can also be seen in (list).
you left out nemesis.

Jessa said...
Jessa Kent is a bi-polar witch living in Virginia with the requisite cat. She lives in a house with one roommate (not the cat), and has a dark past including ren faires, horseback riding, studying acting in NYC, and a lamentably brief stint as a griffon trainer.
You had me at griffon trainer.

french sojourn said...
Hank Petterson writes Science Fiction and Police Procedural in Southwest France. He lives with his long-suffering wife, who he met while working as a stuntman in the adult film industry, and his daughter, five cats, and two dogs.
His pre-ordered gravestone (a gift) says simply….
“What are you lookin’ at?”



KariV said...
I grew up in the remote jungles of Papua New Guinea alongside a tribe of cannibals. To my knowledge, I’ve never eaten a human being. I have, however, been a ghost writer for bloodthirsty personal injury attorneys up and down the East Coast before switching to writing fiction.
 It's really hard to beat that first sentence.
And yet, that third sentence is utterly deft.

Katelyn Yaeger said...
An introvert with a knack for lurking in plain sight, Katelyn Yaeger prefers using her powers of perception for storytelling rather than espionage. Not before her second cup of coffee though and only after she’s stopped one of her seven siblings from starting World War III.

you had me at lurking in plain sight.

NLiu said...
NLiu was cursed with adventure-lust by her tome-reading father. Said curse drove her around the world, where she inconveniently fell in love. She now sports two mini readers and an eccentric vocabulary. She professes undying gratitude to anyone who writes a story still funny on the thousandth retelling.
This is endearing and hilarious.

Dee Garretson said...
After a research job toiling in the crumbling stacks of death certificate records, Dee Garretson now knows countless unique ways to kill people, so instead of setting up a boutique business to provide tips to assassins, she puts that knowledge to use writing mysteries.
Perfect

Bruce Harrison said...
My speculative fiction story was scheduled for publication when the magazine folded due to the health of the owner. I was so crushed that I stopped writing for fifteen years, only, after starting again, to have QueryShark publicly humiliate me for my query that, in her words (paraphrased), broke new ground in mistakes made.

You'd think that would discourage me, correct? Nay! I just completed my second novel, and am now looking for any agent not named Janet to take me on. I'd ask you to wish me luck, but we all know that, as the sage says, "it's not who you know, but . . ."
oh now wait a darn minute here!

Let's recall the EXACT words
It wasn't poor, it had interesting mistakes that no one had made before.
It was never bad, it just wasn't as effective as you need it to be.

The query doesn't suck exactly. It just doesn't work

Kathryn said...
Kathryn is a writer-illustrator who was raised in a science laboratory. Not as a science experiment, mind you, but rather as the daughter of an overzealous chemist who always took his daughter to work. Instead of cracking chemical equations, she prefers painting pictures of chemists and writing their stories.
This is funny but informative. Spot on.

shanepatrickwrites said...
Shane Patrick left a Wisconsin farm for the wilds of Alaska years ago. He’s been paid to climb mountains, float rivers, blow things up and fly helicopters. Shane chugs coffee and bangs on the keyboard every morning, excited to learn how the story ends.
Things about the writing process aren't effective in a bio (cause they're common to most writers who query) Your bio should be what makes you distinctive. I know that's hard but you did it well here in the first two sentences.

Kristin Owens said...
After 20+ years in higher education, the only thing my PhD has in common with writing is my dissertation topic: persistence. I write magazine articles on topics from apples to zippers. I travel the world searching for a good $10 bottle of wine. I speak fluent German and crappy French.
This does what a bio should: make you sound fun!

Karl Henwood said...
I’m a former cop and soldier, now living in Boise Idaho with my wife and son. Iraq got me shot at the way mail is addressed to ‘occupant’ and revealed a peacefully Zen place beyond burnout. Now I’m working to monetize all the real weirdness I’ve lived through fiction.
You forgot the best part:

Karl's dog

Kelly said...
As a person with narcolepsy, picture books are my favorite genre because I can read a whole one without falling … zzzzzz…. Oh, sorry. I dozed off there. Neurological disease aside, I’m currently a member of SCBWI, 12 x 12, and the NC Writers’ Network.

I love picture books too but not cause I have narcolepsy.
It's always fun to find you have something in common with a writer, but that's not anything the writer can control. 


PAH said...
PAH travels chrono-synclastic infundibula in search of the perfect waffle and the Universe's best opening sentence. His resume looks like he was throwing darts at a job fair: door-to-door salesman, substitute teacher, sportswriter, video-game-tester, almost-reality-TV-star, and ad copywriter. He is the world’s leading expert on Boy Meets World trivia. Probably.

This is perfect. I had to look up chrono-synclastic infundibula but I like looking things up.


Andrew Arno said...
When not writing Andrew Arno spends most of his time trying to keep various helicopters from getting blown up and enacting dark rituals designed to ensure that the Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl. So far, success in the former has counterbalanced abject failure in the latter.

This is perfect.


Jacqueline H. said...
All the things your mother told you would never happen have already happened to Jacqueline, who sits in her loft, surrounded by cats, and writes about them.
Prince Charming showed up on a white horse to take you away?!
I KNEW it!

Theresa said...
Theresa is a desk chair time traveler always on the lookout for the scrappiest women in American history.
You had me at scrappiest.


The Noise In Space said...
Noise is a time traveller who absolutely, positively was not present at the the theft of the Hope Diamond, and no one can prove otherwise. She paints in the bathtub, gives culinary history lectures about the origin of cookies, and very much enjoys meeting other people's imaginary friends.
That first line is a keeper

TS Rosenberg said...
Tracey S. Rosenberg is an avid traveler who’s visited Easter Island and North Korea (not on the same trip). Her muse is a Jane Austen bobble-head. She lives in Scotland with a long-haired man and a short-tempered cat.
That last line is particularly splendid.



Pericula Ludus said...
Pericula Ludus researches disaster responses for a living. She is particularly interested in how people act in extremely stressful situations, but tries to hide such experiments from her students. Any similarities between distressed fictional characters and students on deadline day are purely accidental.
 Utterly compelling and fascinating.


Timothy Lowe said...
A high school English teacher and father or two, Timothy Lowe writes crime fiction. He swears he's not as homicidal as his characters, although thanks to his daughter's Netflix account, he does harbor a deep and disturbing desire to murder the "Fuller House" laugh track.
Not so disturbing really.

Diana said...
Diana is a silicon valley software engineer, an insect lab survivor, and a huge bird nerd. She's raised mealworms (for science), mice (for science), and endangered crane chicks (not for science). Fortunately for her, writing provides a respite from the bugs in labs, crane chick snacks, and code alike.
 you had me at insect lab and bird nerd.
This is hilarious and great writing.

KDJames said...
KDJames is a nocturnal introvert and professional liar. She has raised two children, several pets, and a wild rumpus. A long-time RWA member, she'd cheerfully become a Crazy Cat Lady if not for the attendant litter boxes. Her favourite meme T-shirt reads: "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come."
 You had me at wild rumpus!

Gabby said...
Gabby has been awful at office work, done pretty well in prop-making and now juggles writing and illustration with raising children and pot-plants. The children seem to be doing OK, the pot-plants… well, some haven’t died.
You're growing cannabis and kids.
Why didn't I think of that?

Melanie Sue Bowles said...
MelanieSueBowles is the traditionally published author of three nonfiction books about horses taken in at her sanctuary, Proud Spirit. She is currently shopping a middle grade about a downtrodden donkey. Ironically, MelanieSue just took in a donkey who was dumped on a rural road and tragically hit by a car.

When querying agents you don't need to say traditionally published cause that's our default assumption. 

Also, I hope the donkey is on the mend!


LynnRodz said...
Throughout Lynn's adventures living in 8 countries and traveling to more than 60, the worst happened when the boat she was on capsized in the Atlantic and she was caught underneath. A close second happened while busking throughout Europe she was told she'd be paid to stop singing. She stopped and was promptly paid. Now all her boating and singing happens in her bathroom.
This is terrifying and funny--that's a great combo.

T.C. Galvin said...
T.C. Galvin is an Australian writer/economist-in-training who is working on replacing sleep with coffee. She has a concern of heights, so naturally has taken up aerial acrobatics as a hobby. Her free time involves collecting books and raising plastic pot plants.
plastic pot plants has to be something that doesn't survive translation to US-speak.
Which is a good reminder that if you're an Aussie etc (ie not in the US) you might want a beta US-native speaker to vet your stuff. While we mostly get it you don't want confusion about whether you're growing cannabis to distract me from your query.

John Davis Frain said...
I’ve published six short stories (Flash Bang Mysteries, Detective Mystery Stories & others). I’m a member of Sisters in Crime and [City Redacted] Writer’s Guild. You can judge my unique style—suffice to say, I’m seven degrees separated from Kevin Bacon. When I’m not writing, I mostly wish I was writing. Balance Schmalance.
I didn't get the Kevin Bacon reference.

Android Astronomer said...
Physicist-barista Brian Wells discusses quantum mechanics with customers when not making words and lattes. He's managed to give fictional characters the wherewithal to save the world, save the solar system, and even save the universe from malevolent and incompetent forces. (Salvation of the universe is still pending completion of WIP.)
You had me at Physicist-barista.


Just Jan said...
A healer of creatures great and small, I spend my free time baking babkas for my mother-in-law and desperately planning my next vacation.
This is gorgeously funny.


MaggieJ said...
When MaggieJ was eight, Toronto swallowed her village without even belching. Years later, she escaped to Eastern Ontario where her ancestors had put down roots long ago. She can often be found sojourning in the fictional nineteenth-century town of Houghton where she meddles shamelessly in the lives of its townsfolk.
That first line is perfect.


julie.weathers said..
I was a Speedhorse Racing Report lead writer doing race and human-interest stories for twenty-five years. In another life, I had a prison ministry and wrote inspirational stories and personal letters to our 2,000 students. This has nothing do with writing, but I'm also a former lady bronc rider.
You had me at lady bronc rider.
Oh wait, that's not so.
You had me at Julie Weathers.

Branden Sampson said...
Big strong construction worker by day, geeky fanboy by night.When I first read Harry Potter my world shifted. Inspiring me to put pen to paper, writing quickly became a pass-time and flourished into a passion. Mixing the grim world we live in with fantasies that are somehow even darker.
Generally bios that include how much you love to write aren't as effective. That first line is great. And honestly, it's really all you need.


Sherin Nicole said...
The CIA offered Sherin Nicole a scholarship to college but she’s too secretive for espionage, instead she writes paranormal comics, movies, and TV shows that no one suspects are true.
I love the twist in that last part of the sentence. That's an ideal element in a bio.

Kat Waclawik said...
I'm a vet (both kinds) and a mom, which means I can expertly wrangle whiners of any rank, age, or species. (My secret weapon? Snacks!)
There is a vibrancy here that says "Kat will be a hoot to work with" which is EXACTLY what you want!

Gypmar said...
Gypsy Martin was born to hippie parents who did not foresee her name becoming politically incorrect over the course of her lifetime. She has worked as a receptionist at a siren factory and as a school lunch lady, and has raised two sons to their teenage years. She still retains her hearing, if not her sanity.
You had me at siren factory.

CED said...
CED writes about the magical and the horrific hidden just under the mundane. In his spare time, he wrangles bytes and warps young minds (not necessarily in that order) as a manager at an internet company. He once was a mathematician, so he’s got words and numbers both covered.
That last line is perfect.

C. Dan Castro said...
When Dan isn’t reading about foreign cultures, studying languages, or traveling strange lands, he invents:

1. New cultures

2. Inhuman languages

3. Exotic worlds

Dan knows he’ll continue distinguishing reality from fantasy as long as he doesn’t start writing about himself in the third person.
You gotta love a guy who writes in third.
But can you love a shark who writes in second?


Panda in Chief said...
Anne Belov writes and draws panda satire. She believes in the healing power of pandas, panda videos, and cake. Living in the Pacific Northwest, she hopes one day to find pandas hiding in the woods behind her house. You can find her on Twitter @PandaChronicle and http://yourbrainonpandas.com

You'd put your twitter handle and website BELOW your signature in a query, rather than in your bio.
Example:

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Anne Belov 
@PandaChronicle
http://yourbrainonpandas.com

janet haigh said...
J. A. Haigh was raised in the wilds of Tasmania and her writing is full of magic and myth. Her work has been published in such places as ASIM, Gaia: Shadow and Breath, Syntax & Salt and Aurealis. She lives in Newcastle, with her two delightful rug-rats and their witty father.
I'd look up Tasmania on the map if I saw this in a query. I've heard of it, I have an idea where it is, but when someone mentions it this way, I dig into the maps. ALWAYS looking for a reason to get to the maps!

Claire Bobrow said...
Claire is a driver on the road of life, elbow out the window, one hand on the wheel, stopping at roadside attractions, and still searching for a token to The Phantom Tollbooth.
I love this cause it's whimsical but compelling.


Kitty said...
Kitty Myers is the most un-interesting person in the world who mines other people's lives for her stories. She does not drink Dos Equis, and she wears a t-shirt that warns people: CAREFUL, OR YOU'LL END UP IN MY NOVEL.

Some of you really do need help saying good things about yourself. Yea Kitty, I mean you! You're one of the kindest, most gracious and thoughtful people I "know" here. Maybe your bio should just be my email address so I can tell people that.



Five that stand out particularly, and have earned prizes are:

Andrew Arno
Pericula Ludus
Android Astronomer  
Dee Garretson  
PAH 

If you'll drop me a line at jetreidliterary (gmail) and let me know your mailing address and what you like to read, we'll get you your prize!




41 comments:

Pericula Ludus said...

Oh my, oh my... That much for researching how people act in extremely stressful situations. Give me a moment while I take notes on myself. This was my first time entering a contest and I'm utterly flustered to be in such illustrious company.

Jennifer R. Donohue said...

WOWZA everybody! Just, job well done!

and Julie, I think we've all got a couple crisp bills tucked away for when it's time to order the lady bronc riders book. Just saying...

InkStainedWench said...

Party at my place! You're all invited!!

Really, what a great bunch of folks.

Aphra Pell said...

Congrats everyone - they were fabulous across the board.

I have to ask though - what do Americans call pot plants (as in plants that grow in pots)?

Jennifer Mugrage said...

PotTED plants

julie.weathers said...

Wow, I tried to predict which ones would win and totally missed the mark. This is reason number 1,934 why I'm not an agent.

There were so many good entries. I knew it would be hard to choose. Scott Sloan's was my favorite.

Jennifer I was going to start working more seriously on Cowgirls before I headed into the stretch on the final revisions with Rain Crow and the gentleman who knows two of my mcs intimately was unavailable. They were his aunts and his wife was dying. Once RC goes out to beta readers, I'm going to get back on it while I wait. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, so it's time.

Aphra Potted plants. I wondered about the pot plants also and was a bit concerned about illicit activities.

Aphra Pell said...

Ah, thanks Julie / Jennifer. What a cultural difference two letters makes!

I can't remember whose entry it was, but I also need to know more about the talking vole solving crimes in 19th century London.

Writer of Wrongs said...

Fabulous entries! I wasn’t able to enter (work obligations, bleh!) but read everyone’s and cheered you on. And (ahem, bragging here) many of the things that Her Sharkliness commented on were the things that had stood out to me.
And Aphra Pell, I too want to know more about the detective vole. Sherlock Voles?

julie.weathers said...

Aphra

I had to look up vole also. Yesterday, while researching some events for a game company, I had to look up mole. Caesar crossed the Rubicon against the orders of the senate, which precipitated the Roman Civil War. Toward the end he defeated the Republican armies at the Battle of Thapsus to put Africa under control. It was noted Thapsus had huge moles. Caesar was fighting giant rodents as well as elephants? Maybe this is my next book.

What?

I had to look it up. Harbor moles are massive breastworks, usually of stone.

Bruce
"I was so crushed that I stopped writing for fifteen years, only, after starting again, to have QueryShark publicly humiliate me for my query that, in her words (paraphrased), broke new ground in mistakes made."

Totally up to you and I don't want you to think I'm dogpiling, but I wouldn't do this. You're taking a swipe at Janet and that's going to be off-putting to agents.

Plus, if you weren't prepared for honest and public feedback on your query, I wonder why you submitted to Query Shark.


Karen McCoy said...

Excellent entries! Lots of great writers here at the Reef. For those interested in the Kevin Bacon reference, here is more info.

Karen McCoy said...

Aphra Pell The vole is mine! He's very opinionated. Julie He insisted he was a vole. I tried to talk him out of it.

The Noise In Space said...

Ah, the ol' "pot plants vs potted plants" debate. When I was doing my degree in London, I had a European friend--studying law, no less!--who mentioned his pot plants, and I was AGHAST (he was normally very morally rigid). Took me months to figure out what he actually meant. It's funny, you can read all the "American vs British slang" articles in the world, and none of them mention that one. Or bandaids (plasters), oddly, which was problematic.

Huge congrats to the winners! I am in awe at the talent here! I've been scrolling through the comments on the original post picking out all of the fascinating people that I clearly need to become best friends with forthwith.

Karen McCoy said...

Writer of Wrongs Ha! Brilliant! I didn't even think of that! The vole will be pleased.

Claire Bobrow said...

I loved each and every one of these bios. Thank you for sharing. I wish we could all meet up for a cup or glass of your favorite beverage and shoot the breeze. Congrats to the winners! Job well done.

Melanie Sue Bowles said...

This was super fun and I loved reading all the entries. Congratulations to everyone who entered and YAY to the winners.

Janet, thank you for the advice. You've given me a bit more real estate. Sadie the donkey, who was hit by a car, is doing well. She may have a permanent limp but we believe she'll get along fine.

Barbara Etlin said...

Congrats to the winners, and to the rest of us, because all of you sound fascinating and entertaining!

Timothy Lowe said...

The best part of this little exercise was the competition. I worked something up, posted it, then started reading entries. Then I knew I needed something better. I'm not sure I have something I'd actually use yet, but I feel like I'm closer, and that's thanks to all you brilliant people. The ways you can twist a phrase!

Okay, back to grading thesis papers. Only 50,000 words to go...

KariV said...

I loved getting a little glimpse into everyone's non-writing lives. Congrats to the winners.

I actually thought this exercise provided some great insight into the querying process and how subjective it is.

It's like, you have 25 friends and all of them are unique and interesting, but in the end you can only invite 5 to your party. The 5 you picked does not invalidate the individuality and uniqueness of the rest.

And that's encouraging.

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...


Janet - thank you for the mention!

Congratulations to all the winners and well done to everyone! The entries were so much fun to read.

french sojourn said...


Great turnout, so happy to see some new people and echo the sentiments about the glimpses into their lives.

Congrats to the winners and thanks to the Shark for all the time and effort.


Cheers Hank.

Beth Carpenter said...

Congrats to the winners. This was fun. I loved learning more about all of you fascinating people.

Panda in Chief said...

So many good bios, not to mention a little insight into the psyches of those who swim at the reef.
As usual, Claire's knocked my fuzzy socks off.

InkStainedWench I'll bring the cuppycakes! Partay!

MaggieJ said...

What a fun contest! So many clever and fascinating details of people's lives.

Thank you, Janet, for the mention. My first time entering, so to be told my first line is perfect is thrilling. (Of course, then I start wondering about the rest of it.)

Thanks to all who entered and especially to Janet for thinking this one up.

Just Jan said...

So much talent here and such interesting bios. Congratulations to the winners. And kudos to all who entered. Also, much thanks to Janet for helping us uncover our unique, non-boring selves!

BrendaLynn said...

Congrats all! Back to the drawing board...

Jennifer Mugrage said...

I agree, everyone sounds terribly interesting.

Here's a quote from a Susan Howatch novel:
American lady: "Do you have a suitcase in the trunk?"
Drunk English man: "No, I have a bag in the boot."

Contest idea: describe a character in a way that does not drive Janet crazy.

Gabby said...

Oops. Re the pot-plant thing, just goes to show - I thought I had a reasonable handle on US vs UK English. Oops.
Two nations divided by a common language and all that. It's been fun reading everyone's bio, and finding out how varied and interesting everyone is.

KDJames said...

Fun to write, but even more fun to read all these entries. Some of you have skills/experiences I'd like to hear more about, and there are a couple people who go by initials-only that I thought were a different gender than indicated in the entry (you all need to work on adding a few details to your google profiles!).

I feel a wee bit chagrinned that the thing Janet liked about mine was a phrase I, ahem, borrowed from the Maurice Sendak book Where the Wild Things Are, which was a favourite in our house: “And now,” cried Max, “let the wild rumpus start!” (can't have Janet thinking I'm more clever than I am) (or at all)

Congrats to the winners! And congrats also to all those who posted for the first time-- welcome!

Janet Reid said...

KD
I knew wild rumpus was not original to you.

I just loved that you used it!

There should be more wild rumpus (plural of rumpus is what??)
in this world!

Where There's A Quill said...

I didn't enter, but reading all your bios was great fun and very valuable!

@Andrew Arno -- your entry made me laugh out loud, so I'm well pleased to see you in the winner list.

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I need to frenzy away the rest of my Sunday printing, cutting, blending, and distilling your bios into a drinkable essence, which I will guzzle until I unlock how to make Internal Investment Program Coordinator sound interesting. Or I'll come out thinking I'm a lady bronc-riding physicist-barista with a small nation of cats. Either way, I'll have a good bio.

KDJames said...

*whew* Glad you knew that, Janet. And next time we're in the same city, we'll have to see what can be done about contributing to the amount of wild rumpus in the world. :)

AJ Blythe said...

Rather chuffed at the shout-out. Thanks, Janet. Congrats to everyone who entered, particularly the final 5. There were some fabulous bios in the entries, but I think Dee's was the standout for me.

Craig F said...

Thanks everyone, I learned quite a bit, in a useful way. That is why I come by here, not to mention those I consider friends, I find something useful in almost every post.

I learned that a bio should be direct in a writerly way. I missed the boat but still have a question.

I am the only person who wrote in third person. I did that because the bio will not be stand alone reading. It will be part of a packet. That packet will have your name all over it.

Will first person writing of a bio be redundant and point towards being too much of a "me" person, an asshat that might be a handful to deal with?

Aphra Pell said...

Karen - does the vole have a tiny monocle? For some reason my brain has decided a crime-fighting victorian vole must be a rodent Peter Wimsey.

Talking of nations divided by a common language, it wasn't until I'd been living in Aistralia for year or so that I discovered what "root" meant colloquially. Let's just say the phrase "I'm going to root that sucker" does not refer to gardening practices.

John Davis Frain said...

Like a lot of folks, I've loved learning ever since I left school. Two wonderful things I learned today.

1. We have a lotta fascinating folks swimming at the reef, many of whom I'd like to steal the neighboring bar stool.

2. It doesn't make sense to talk about your love of writing in your bio section. Light bulb! Solid logic from Janet that I had never considered.

Thanks for the contest, Janet. Even more, thanks for all the insight.

Brian Wells said...

I couldn't be more pleased to be in such good company. Thank you all for sharing tiny bits of your lives in such creative fashion.

Karen McCoy said...

Aphra Not as yet! He's of the opinion that a monocle would make him unbearably conspicuous. But there's time to convince him otherwise. Ironically, you're not the first to picture him this way! :)

AJ Blythe said...

Craig, I think first person makes the most sense (of course, that's how I wrote mine so please feel free to ignore me). Think about if you were telling someone the same thing. You wouldn't say "Craig is a sailor", you'd say "I'm a sailor". You are writing the letter so using first person shouldn't seem odd. And I don't think anyone would take you as an asshat from what you said in your bio =)

Aphra, your comment cracked me up. I forget how some of our language must sound when you aren't used to it. Like pot plant (which I didn't know until today), thong and fanny, root is definitely another of those "be careful when translating between US and Aussie (and I assume British)".

Theresa said...

I loved reading all of these. Congratulations to the winners.

John Davis Frain, I got your reference to the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.


Steve Forti said...

Rumpi. That's the plural of rumpus. I prefer to pluralize everything with an i.

Cyn said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the bios. Such an interesting and talented group of people.

It was my first stab at writing a bio and a good exercise, at that.

Thanks to Janet for inventing the contest.

Congrats to the winners!