Sunday, December 23, 2018

The Tao of Ty

Ty McFurPurr

Sunday morning, reclining on couch.

Ty: (purrambulating toward couch) Yo.
Me: Yo yourself.

Ty: Laser?
Me: You concussed yourself the last time you and the laser pen went catto a dotto
Ty: Collateral damage.

Me: And I'm not sure how we're going to explain the crack in the window to your parents.
Ty: Birds.

Me: And the shredded curtains?
Ty: Clawers gonna claw.
Me: True.

Ty: Scrabble?
Me: Last time we played Scrabble, you cheated!

Ty: (sardonic side eye)
Me: Scrich is not a word!

Ty: (sardonic side eye)
Me: Just because I know what it means does not make it a word.

Ty: (sardonic side eye)
Me: There's no such thing as a Dicationery!

Ty: (baleful stare)
Me: Alright alight, come here, let me scrich your neck.

Ty: Word.

8 comments:

Melanie Sue Bowles said...

Beyond hilarious... "catto a dotto" HA!!!

nightsmusic said...

How funny! I just love orange cats!! This one is obviously very clever. :)

Lennon Faris said...

Ty is one cool dude.

Claire Bobrow said...

Ty is most certainly a Magnificat (a term I swiped from Nevermoor, by Jessica Townshend). Plus, judging by catto a dotto, he meows in Italian and knows how to give a sardonic side eye, both of which I applaud. You are a very fine fellow, Ty.

Craig F said...

DOY: What's that smell

My Queen: I had tuna yesterday

DOY: It is not tuna, it is a tuna eater, and not you

My Queen: Are you implying something

DOY: There is no implication, you have been cheating on me. I'm broken

My Queen: I wasn't cheating on you. A friend had to go away for Christmas. It was just a house guest

DOY: A lap guest is more like it. I'm broken

Kregger said...

Only cats can do the "sardonic side-eye" effectively.

KDJames said...

It occurred to me reading this that with all the pet sitting you do, if you ever tire of agenting/publishing (please don't ever tire of agenting/publishing) you've already got great references to become an international house-sitter. You could travel the world and stay for free, just taking care of other people's homes/pets for weeks at a time. Yes, that's a real thing.

Wait. No. That's a terrible idea. Just awful. Traveling the world, exploring beautiful places, meeting interesting people, having adventures, cuddling all those fur babies, ignoring writers . . . indescribably bad idea. Forget I said anything.


ASIDE TO TY: If you add a "t" to scrich, just after the "i", it's definitely a word.

Beth Carpenter said...

:-)