Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl: What do you mean, you're going on a reading retreat? Are you abandoning your duties here?
Me: You think I'm a useless tailless twit.
DoY: You have occasional utility.
Me: Well, far from leaving, a retreat means I will be reading on the couch here, not going to the office.
DoY: Excellent, I will sit on your head. Nice and warm. A little dense.
Me: I can't read with this fur windshield wiper going back and forth.
Doy: I want to read too. Turn on the text to voice enabler.
VOICE: The cat in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.
DoY: Surefire best seller!
Me: That's the first line from a Stephen King novel.
DoY: But better! Now it's about cats.
Me: You need permission from him to use it.
DoY: He couldn't possibly object to my improvements!
Me: I think I'm going to the office after all.
DoY: Wait, don't you want to hear my improvements to Cujo?