Sunday, July 02, 2017

Contest results

Y'all certainly rose to the occasion! If my life were being secretly recorded, I'd look like a loon, sitting in my apartment early Sunday morning howling with laughter for no apparent reason.

Herewith the results:
Special recognition for terrible jokes (that made me howl with laughter!)

Colin Smith
"What did you think of breakfast?"
"You mean the goat-meal? It was baaaaad. You?"
"I'm on the fence."
Claire Bobrow
Well, Nibbles, they didn't name me Barb for nothin'.

Dena Pawling
I am horse. Here me roar!
You're a goat.
I am horse!
Horse, horse, HORSE, HOR-!
You win. You're hoarse.

Special recognition for one of the very best "oh by the way" additions to an entry

[It took waaaay too long for my sleep-deprived brain to realize "royalty shenanigans" had nothing to do with the House of Windsor.]

I was half way to looking up "fencitarian" when I got the joke


Introducing the new Fencitarian Diet. Gluten-free, carb-free, and (eventually) goat free.

Sadly, this required outside references, but when I actually DID google Adam Sandler's goat song, this is hilarious
Karen McCoy
My name is Adam, and this is my friend Sandler. If you Google Sandler's goat song, you'll understand why we'd like to legally change our names to Baklava and Sandoval.

And here are the finalists:

E.M Goldsmith
Laundry on the line or weeds in the pen. A feast in or out. No sheep in sight. No idiot boy to cry wolf. It's a good day to be a goat.

Lennon Faris

G.O.A.T. Quotes

Bust a friend out and she will be free once.

Teach a friend to eat a fence and she will be free forever.

Read faster, that last story was delicious.

Janice Grinyer
"When Susan’s vexatious kids finally showed up for lunch, she recognized her new neighbor wasn’t kidding about being a witch..."

In a stunning show of good taste for quoting The Wire, plus cleaning up the original word
to muthagoater, plus surprising the sox off me (always the best strategy)  it's Steve Forti for the win.
“I don't take my fence chewing too seriously.”
“That's right. It's just business.”
“Us, muthagoater.”
“Us, man.”
“Uhh... wrong Wire.”

Thanks to all who took the time to write and post entries. Your work is source of delight and amazement (even the entries that didn't get a mention.)

Steve, drop me a line to confirm your mailing address and let me know what's on your books wish list for the summer.  


Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Great win, Steve, congrats.

I loved Lennon's G.O.A.T. quotes too. I can see a little gift book, up by the register of...
G.O.A.T. quotes, plus a field of other livestock wisdom.
Hey I may steal the idea.

E.M. Goldsmith said...

You just can't beat Forti and his clever turn of phrase. These were hilarious - great laughs all around.

Steve Forti said...

Woo hoo! This made my morning :) Glad I went with my first instinct.

Props to Colin and 2N's for making me laugh with bad puns.
Good work all. Have a great 4th everyone!

Claire Bobrow said...

Congrats, Steve! Great entry, and another sign from the universe that I finally need to sit down and watch The Wire.

I'm delighted to receive recognition for a terrible joke. At long last, it looks like I made someone besides myself laugh at my writing. Thank you, Janet!

Great work, everybody, and so much fun. The finalists were uniformly awesome. Time to Google the Adam Sandler goat song!

Dena Pawling said...

Congrats to everyone who participated and to Steve for the win!

And thanks for the mention. Glad to know I can write a terrible joke that makes someone laugh =)

BJ Muntain said...

Congrats to Mr. Forti and to all the finalists, mentionables, and unmentionables!

I remember Sandler's goat song. I think he first did it on Saturday Night Live.

So how are people doing, this fine holiday weekend? I didn't go to the festivities - despite it being such a big event, being our 150th birthday and all - for a number of reasons, not the least of which was our lovely city decided that since Saturday was a holiday, they had buses running on holiday hours - which meant no buses after 6 pm.

But my sister and her hubby barbecued ribs last night - my sister's hubby makes the BEST ribs.

Kregger said...

Woohoo, Steve. Great captions all the way around.
I'm traveling to Savanna Georgia, so I'm doing this on the fly.
Great contest as always ya'll.

Lennon Faris said...

Congrats, Steve! I did love that curse word.

Thanks, Janet, for the mention! They really all were hilarious.

Funny thing - I didn't realize till much later that the goat in the pic hasn't actually eaten the fence. His chin is just covering it.

nightsmusic I thought yours was pretty funny, too!

2Ns - glad you liked the G.O.A.T. Quotes. Feel free to run with that - I'd buy a copy :D

Theresa said...

Great, great entry, Steve!

Terri Lynn Coop said...

Bad jokes are some of the best jokes!

Thanks to the Shark for the random act of contest and to all the hilarious entries. Shoutout to the finalists and YAY to Steve for invoking The Wire.


Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Hey BJ, regarding the festivities, my neighbor has 100 people coming to his house. His yard backs up to mine. When rockets begin their red glare tonight I'm sitting outside with a hose and a Pina colada.

Claire AB. said...

Congrats, Steve! Lots of funny entries -- thank you, Janet for the gift of laughter. Happy 4th everyone!

BJ Muntain said...

2Ns: Now THAT's the way to watch fireworks! Here, though, you need a permit to set off fireworks in the city. That doesn't stop everyone, of course, but it does mean fewer private parties like that.

My cousin's husband used to set off fireworks at family gatherings, which usually occurred at campgrounds. I'm pretty sure he got a permit every time. Everyone would sit around and watch. Of course, they weren't professional-level fireworks, but he did a pretty good job. But I doubt the family will ever forget the time one of the fireworks tipped over just before going off, sending its payload along the ground - straight for cousin's husband. I've never seen anyone move that quickly! He's gone now, but he'll never be forgotten.

So I think the hose is a good idea. Just in case you get a ground-runner heading for your place. :)

John Davis Frain said...

Those were some HILARIOUS entries. I'd be in the middle of laughing at one and start anew on the next. It made it so much funnier to imagine the goats doing the talking -- especially goateffin' Steve's entry. That was classic!

Shamefully, I have not seen The Wire and I need to rectify that. Soon. Soon as the editing is finished. So I'd rather it was sooner!

CynthiaMc said...

Congrats Steve and all the mentions!

Anonymous said...

HA! Thanks for the mention. I debated whether to admit my confusion.

Nice one, Steve, congrats! These caption contests are always good for a few laughs. Thanks, Janet.

Add me to the list of people who need to watch The Wire. One of these days. Maybe we should have a Wire-watching party...

Karen McCoy said...

Thanks to everyone for the laughs. The Wire is definitely on my list to watch. And Steve, there must be a way to bottle your cleverness somehow.

Thanks also for the mention! Methinks Adam Sandler could use some of Steve's cleverness in his current movies.

Barbara said...

Congrats on the win, Steve. I loved Janice's. Lots of laughs all around!

Colin Smith said...

Yay! I got a mention. This is definitely a win for Dad humor. My kids would be proud. Or embarrassed. OK, probably the latter. But still!

Congrats, Steve, for the win. :D

AJ Blythe said...

Well done, Steve. I have to confess, you entry is much better second time round now I know it is referencing The Wire.

And like Claire, I must watch that series soon. Sadly it's not available on Amazon Prime at the moment (and that's the streaming service we're using for now). Mind you, Oz only gets a fraction of the shows you guys get, regardless of the brand of streaming service.

Lisa Bodenheim said...

Woohoo. Congrats Steve and to all the other finalists! These were fun reads. And I so enjoyed the special recognitions.

Happy belated Canada Day to our neighbors. And Happy 4th of July celebrations.

Janice Grinyer said...

Thank you JR for laughing - glad I could do so this time around :)

Congrats to you again, Mr. Forti ;) and congrats to everyone who entered- laughter is really the best medicine!