I do hate to point this out, but unless that's Mosag then your she is a he. Poor Aragog. Always getting confused for something he's not. First an octopus, then his wife.My spider is not restricted to just one gender. In fact, today she's wearing a black garter.
Now, I can hear you all thinking "oh that's just Janet making something up to amuse herself on a Sunday morning."
But no no no. The spider is wearing a black garter. How did she get a black garter? Well, the awesome Meredith Barnes stopped by last week to talk to our interns about publicity and marketing. Mer-Bear brought a copy of Karen Robards new book The Ultimatum, and the publicity materials that had been sent out with the ARCs. Instead of a paperclip, the publicity materials were held to the book with a black garter. (If you read The Ultimatum you'll know why this was a stroke of pure PR genius.)
I of course snagged the book
The spider snagged the garter.
With eight legs, one can always use an extra garter.
There were some hilarious suggestions as to the box's contents:
E. M. Goldsmith
Jeff Somers' missing pants
The obvious answer is Gwyneth Paltrow's head.I must be missing the joke about Gwyneth Paltrow's head, but any reference to The Shawshank Redemption gets my vote!
But since it's Brooks, and he was the librarian at Shawshank, I'm gonna say it's a rock hammer hidden inside a bible.
Update: Steve has now clarified the reference. I will NOT be viewing this on YouTube! WAY too scary. I prefer to be the scarer, not the scareee!
Writer of Wrongs
Shrodinger's Cat. Not to be confused with the Duchess of Yowl. I hope.
|Confuse me with some OTHER, lesser cat? I should think NOT.|
Your order for Waffle HouseI haven't been to The Waffle House in far too long. I better track down a writing conference near one and beg for an invitation!
The Macguffin, of course!
It's the crushed hopes and dreams of a thousand writers, lightly seasoned with their bitter tears.
Nah, that's your favourite snack food.
Plus, probably he has his own.
Oh, the irony of it all! It's heavy, it's July...it's none other than my great-grandmother's special recipe Christmas fruitcake that I sent you back in December. It's obvious the spider knows a good thing when he sees one. And you didn't even have a piece. At least Brooks knows what goes good with a nice bourbon.
Happy Christmas in July, Brooks! Enjoy the fruitcake.
I am in the box.
I guess poor Mr. Sherman didn't realize when he cheekily told you, "Feel free to send along anything off-beat, slightly disturbing, and/or not quite right in the head you run across," you'd take him literally.
It's John Frain's manuscript of course. And Sox the Spoctoper (spider-octopus) knows that NOTHING is worthy to share a box with THE MANUSCRIPT.
(Yes, I named him Sox, because every flash fiction contest, he gets blown away.)
Terri Lynn Coop
To be using a flat rate box for crosstown, it is something heavy.
For the pet spider to be terrified to enter the box, it is something spiders instinctively fear and avoid at all costs.
Duh, it's obvious.
You're sending Brooks Sherman a vacuum cleaner.
Don't feel bad folks, I'm a trained professional.
Uh, guys? I think you're missing the obvious.
Byobrooks is an agent. What do agents need more than anything else?
Honestly, it's not that tough a riddle!
Agents need MORE TIME. Janet is sending him more time.
Why the flat rate envelope? To disguise it, of course. Most people want more time, so Janet has to pretend it's a box of books, so no one will steal it.
Why didn't the spider climb in?
Geez, do I have to do all the thinking here? Did you ever see a spider wearing a watch?
He didn't climb in because SPIDERS DON'T NEED MORE TIME!
You're welcome. ;)
Okay, so I really want to know what's in that box.
Everyone who has read Harry Potter knows that spiders flee from a basilisk, but why would you be sending Brooks a deadly snake? You like Brooks. You would not want to see him petrified.
I hear there are ARCs available of Nick Petrie's new book, but if you got your fins on one I can't imagine you sharing it.
So now I've determined the two things that are not in the box.
Though you share Sean Ferrel as a client, I know he's not in the box because he tweeted something today that was not "Help! I'm n a box."
Liquor you would have packed and shipped directly from the store.
Spider is afraid of it. Not an ARC. Not Sean. Not alcohol.
So obviously it's ---
*background noise of ferocious struggle as beloved iPad is ripped away*
Hi. This is Jenny's daughter. Mom made me promise to keep her off Twitter and all other forms of social media until she's completed draft 1 of her WIP. And besides, it's a beautiful day. You people should be outside or something.
I can't tell you how delighted I was with these entries. Hilarious and imaginative. And oh so illuminating!
It's almost impossible to pick just one winner.
How about you guyz weigh in in the comment column today, and I'll announce the winner tonight?
UPDATE: ok, I've read the comments, and mulled this over.
There's no way to choose one winner, so there are two: KathyJoyce for what is IN the box, and Jenny Chou for what is NOT in the box!
As usual, you guyz just blow me away with your talent! Thanks to all who took the time to enter and comment.
Kathy and Jenny, drop me a line with your preferred mailing address. Jenny, boy oh boy, do I have a good prize for you!