Sunday, November 27, 2016

The Duchess of Yowl becomes the Duchess of Yule

Duchess of Yowl: Thumbs! Summon my palanquin, I'm heading out.

Me: Your grace, it's rather cold out, are you sure you want to be gamboling about the streets of New York?

DoY: I'm needed to grace the top of the Christmas tree.

Me (suspiciously): What Christmas tree?

DoY: The tree they brought in just for me. I saw it on the news.

Me: Your grace, I thought you confined your tv viewing to Animal Planet and America's Most Wanted?

DoY: You put the remote on the side table out of my reach. I couldn't help it.

Me: So, where is this tree?

DoY: The center of town of course, the only place suitable for me.

Me (feeling clever): What address are you giving the palanquin bearers?

DoY: Down Broadway, left on 50th.

Me: Oh my god, you're going to Rockefeller Center.

DoY: I prefer to think of it as the location of my tree.

Me: It's 94 feet tall! You'll need an oxygen mask!




DoY: Clawless commoner. I am high-born royalty. Rarefied air is my preferred O2 level.

Me: And you're planning on being the star on top of the tree?

DoY: Of course. Who else would even be remotely qualified?

Me: So, you have an invitation to do this?

DoY: It was lost in the mail.

Me: Was the address Duchess of Yowl, up Broadway, left on 70th?

DoY: Aha! You did get it!



15 comments:

Julie Weathers said...

A 94'treewith a cat ornament. That would be awesome. My father had some huge pines around his house in Lincoln. The forest ranger, bureau of land management guy, and various other people used to tell him he needed to cut them down. He asked the forest ranger how old he thought they were.

"Oh, I imagine they were here when Columbus landed."

"Then they'll be here when I go. If they come down naturally on the house, I'll build a new house."

"Well, yes, but you might be in the house when they come down."

"There are worse ways to go."

There may have been a bobcat or two up the pines from time to time, but no Duchesses.

So, are you escorting DoY to her new abode? Also, glad you're feeling better.

Kitty said...

”So they bring a tree in the house and put all these shiny, dangly things on it, then freak out if I go near it…This is why I drink.”

nightsmusic said...

Kitty! HAHAHA!!

Me: Your grace, I thought you confined your tv viewing to Animal Planet and America's Most Wanted?

Oh my, this made me laugh! But AMW does not surprise me ;)

Alas, I fear DOY would become too cold too soon and with no one able to deliver that which she needs to survive, she'd be forced to abandon her perch. Nice thought though ;)

E.M. Goldsmith said...

So awesome. Your majesty, you should write a book about the Duchess. She is quite the character.

Theresa said...

Nice to know that the DoY enjoys the holidays!

DLM said...

Kitty, that's GREAT!

Cats make marvelous Christmas (or any other kind of) ornaments.
http://dianelmajor.blogspot.com/2012/12/merry-christmas-from-wee-and-timorous.html (And pups make good tree sentries.)

Lennon Faris said...

My grandmother always gets a freshly cut Douglas Fir for Christmas and then after the holiday, sits it on her porch till about Mother's Day. Remarkably, it stays green until then and houses at least one or two birds' nests every year. I wonder how many animals make the 94-foot tree their home?? That would sure be an interesting ecosystem to study...

BunnyBear said...

It's difficult to imagine DOY "gamboling." Isn't that what commoners do? But love that you used that word!

Colin Smith said...

FirstBorn wants to know if the tree will be up by the end of the week. She'll be in NY Friday and Saturday, and is sooo looking forward to seeing the decorations (and a couple of Broadway shows). :)

Donnaeve said...

...backing up to a few days ago AND a day or so ago.

DoY has now become DiY in my head. It was fine until you - or she - monkeyed with my thought process.

And same for delicartoon - being dellcartoon. Now I can't help but think "delicartoon."

Inkstainedwench was okay. Something about wretch just doesn't set right in my head, so that was eliminated pretty easy.

How y'all been? Dare I say it? My Christmas decorations are UP! (some have been for a week. Shhhh.)

Janet Reid said...

Colin, the tree at R.Center gets lit on 11/30.
The best time to see it is of course night, but with early dark
now, that can be anywhere from 5pm on.

Colin Smith said...

Thanks, Janet! :D

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Once had a 14 ft tree in our foyer.
Foyer is a fancy word for front hall.
We had to decorate the top of the tree from the upstairs foyer.
Foyer is a fancy word for upstairs hallway.
You know that scene in Christmas vacation when Clark cuts the rope and the branches spring free and break Windows. That was us. No glass broke but we could barely get in the front door.
We wanted to at least say we had a big tree once. No critters in our tree and no room under or around for gifts.
Meowwwww...it was dumb but had great wow factor.

Dena Pawling said...


We started our outside decorations today. Won't have the inside done for another two weeks.

When I was in high school, my dad would run a wire from the top of the Christmas tree to a nail in the wall, so the cat wouldn't tip the tree over. This worked most of the time, but there were nights when we woke up to a crash and the tree lying on the floor. Typically we would find the dog sniffing at the tree, and the cat in a different room entirely.

Cats are smart. Dogs are, for the most part, dumb. At least the dogs I grew up with.

My experience with a tree in the 94 foot range did not end well for the car which cushioned its fall.


Beth said...

Think of the view DoY could get from that treetop! But where would her servant perch?