I have an upmarket women's fiction 84,000 word polished manuscript. I had my book read by a retired senior writer for Rolling Stones who lives here in the bay area. He said the book is a go. Freshman Melanie is romantically fixated on her straight best friend. The crisis moment of this book was published in (Title) magazine in the fall of 2012. Here is my question: Is it TERRIBLE QUERY ETIQUETTE to include the link to this story?
Don't include a link to anything you think I should read in a query. The chances that I'll click on a link in a query are slim to none.
If you link to anything in your query, it's your website, and that is underneath your signature, at the bottom of your query, before your pages.
I will go to a website sometimes, particularly if you've been coy about who published your last books (too often such coyness means you've self-published.)
In addition, the crisis moment isn't something you'll even mention in a query. A query is intended to entice the reader to read the pages, and those pages to make the reader want more pages. It's NOT a synopsis of the book.
If you have any doubts about what to include, there are 250+ examples now at QueryShark
And I'm really not sure why you'd trust the opinion of a writer for Rolling Stone (not Stones, that's the rock band) about an upmarket women's fiction novel, unless that's what she writes when she's not doing long form non-fiction for Rolling Stone.