Sunday, September 07, 2014

Comment of the week

There's been rumbling in the readership for a new contest so I decided to surprise you by having a contest and NOT telling you about it.  [This is in honor of  Jeff Somers' amazing essay over at about how People Are The Worst. --so blame Jeff for this new wrinkle of cruelty in your life.]

I decided to look back through the blog posts this week and select a Comment of the Week.

Of course I was instantly stymied by you, dear readers, even though you didn't know about the contest.  Stymied in that the comment I loved was quickly followed by two more that were equally amazing and funny.

So, instead of one winner, we have three.

french sojourn 9/6/14 10:21am
It pains me that you would throw my name out as a cautionary tale. Maybe you don't remember me, but i'll never forget you.

Bora bora, sunsets, blue whale cocktails and our chums at the hookie-lau-a go-go.

Felix Buttonweazer.

LynnRodz  9/6/14 10:53am
Ahh, how soon they forget, Felix! (Too many fish in the sea, I suppose.) I will say, this wasn't the first post where your name was mentioned, so you aren't completely forgotten.

yes indeed, Felix has appeared when
his email was wrong on a conference list

 using pen names (with a name like Buttonweazer, why would you want to!)

 and there have been several others.

Carolynnwith2ns 9/6/14 11:20am
 Janet, a dear friend and wife of my former writing teacher and literary agent, has asked if I would please pass this message on to you.

Dear Ms. Reid,
May I respectably request that you cease referring to my loving husband, Felix Buttonweazer, as anyone less than informed and stellar as a writer. When I think of the hours my dear Felix spends on his computer researching websites related to the importance of relationships, (thank God he doesn’t call those 900 numbers anymore) and how this has enhanced our relationship, I just bristle because of your flippancy.
We have a passel of little Buttonweazers who look up to their father, so please do not belittle the man, history will eventually recognize and admire as the writer whose last name has more letters in it than Hemmingway.
Betty Buttonweazer

Of course there are prizes! If our three winners drop me a line with their mailing address, we'll send them body parts books .

There were some other terrific comments as well. By terrific I mean ones that cracked me up usually. Here they are in chrono order

Terri Lynn Coop 9/3/14 3:18pm
No matter the question . . .

Jack Reacher is always an acceptable answer.

Sort of a little black dress of characters.


Anastasia Stratu 9/2/14 10:24am
Added to "1,000,000 books to read before I die" list.

List growing alarmingly fast.

List owner feeling more and more like the protagonist of that joke about the creative writing college admission commission interviewing a candidate. When asked about favorite books and authors, the candidate says: "None. Joe is not a reader. Joe is a writer."

General sentiment of self-addressed peevishness explainable by circumstances entailing a dulled sense of comedy and ignoble pilfering from folklore.

Generally inane tone hereof justifiable by severe sleep deprivation.

Decision to post this comment anyway triggered by general inability to shut up.

Lance 9/1/14 9:04pm
Is that why you're having to repaint?

NotAWarriorPrincess 8/31/14 12:19pm
My husband came home one day in July to find I had removed the floor, subfloor, toilet, and fixtures from the masterbath. I had the new subfloor and vinyl down and the new toilet halfway installed and was cursing the skies that a part was missing from the box it came in so I had to return to Home Depot. If it hadn't been for that extra trip I'd have had it all done except for the paint. And then the paint... the saga of ugly paint rivals some of the sagas of Norse Iceland for length and tedium, if not violence. And maybe a little of the violence. In the midst of it all a wise woman told me "Teal is not your friend. Teal is no one;s friend." ALways listen to your wise woman, folks.


Anonymous said...

First and foremost - congratulations to the unsuspecting winners! And here I was thinking some folks have missed their calling. Stand up, anyone?

And second. Harrumppphhh. This is the unsettled sound I make if deprived of something I want. All that's left to do is take my contest pen, (still clutched in hand, mind you) and slink away to worry my head over the fact that Felix Buttonweazer is well known - and married.

Lisa Bodenheim said...

Hah! Great turn of the tables. Congrats to the unsuspecting winners.

I am seriously jealous of the wit and quip some people are able to pull together, whether it is the Shark herself or the various people who make comments here. This fun and snarky education about the craft of querying and writing oftentimes finds me smiling or laughing out loud. A fabby way to start the day.

Lance said...

It is more than a little suspicious that the winners were all friends and family of Buttonweazer -- that snake of an agent who sells writing courses to his clients. Bora Bora, huh?

Thank you for the mention and congratulations to the winners. Great comments.

Sneaksy, the shark is.
Yes, Precious. Very sneaksy.

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Just think.
If, on this lovely (calm after the storms) Sunday morning, I actually went to church (Is that thunder I hear again) I would have missed the announcement of winners regarding a contest nary a commenter was aware of. How awesome is this? (Am bursting my Weazer-buttons). Thanks.

I will make sure to inform Felix and Betty Buttonweazer of this wonderful news after they return from teaching Sunday school. Today’s biblical lesson, the eleventh commandment:
“Just because the first ten were a best seller doesn’t mean the eleventh will even be read.” Amen

Craig said...

How about each of them submit five words and, possibly, a theme for a contest. The Queen can pick the winner and the time for the contest.

The winner whose words are chosen with then have to adjudicate the contest. That, of course, means that they must abstain from the contest but it will also allow Ms. Janet to enter said contest.

Jennifer R. Donohue said...

Oh what devious (deviant?) fun! Congrats to the winners. I hope your body parts are in good condition when you receive them.

french sojourn said...


How fun, I will definitely file this one under the old " even a blind squirrel finds an acorn on occasion."

And thanks Betty for defending me for our lil Buttonweazers.

I come here for your priceless advice, but I stay for the great comments.

cheers Hank.

LynnRodz said...

Thanks, Janet, I definitely wasn't expecting this, but to use Jeff Somers' favorite phrase "to the bar" to celebrate!!!

Colin Smith said...

Ooo... sneaky shark! Congratulations to Hank, Lynn, and Carolynn (she of multiple "n"s--you know, the announcement would still have been here after church... just sayin' ;)) Well deserved!

Jed Cullan said...

Big Congrats to the winners. Very impressive winning a comp you didn't know you entered.

The Shark is Sneaky.

Terri Lynn Coop said...

HA! All along we thought she was on vacation and she was CONTESTING us!

There is no sleep around the shark, none at all.

Congrats to all the winners and my comment holds true, Jack Reacher even does double duty as a contest entry.


Julia said...

Not A Warrior -
Didn't listening to something similar get us all 50 Shades of Oh My God How Did She Get Published?


Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Oh Felix, You and your nuts.
Love Betty