1. If you describe women by how they look and men by how they act, I'm pretty likely to say no. This is not a political statement. I prefer to read about three-dimensional characters and if the most appealing thing you can tell me about the heroine is the color of her eyes and hair, that's superficial 101.
2. Don't tell me how much you love to read. Or write. I don't care. I only care about your book. Do you put "I love to crunch numbers" on a job application? No, you talk about your skills and experience. In a query, you "skills and experience" = the book you wrote. Whether you love it or hate it, or are doing it to wreck vengeance on you high school composition teacher is immaterial.
3. When your first line is the cumbersome " The story I’m seeking representation for" I know I'm going to find similar sentences in your manuscript. By the time you are ready to query you should recognize this as bad writing. [I'm seeking representation for (title)]
4. It will really really help if your debut novel is not about something that's been done so often that anything new must be breathtakingly amazing. Set the bar a little lower for yourself. Write about something new and fresh.