Yes, this is filled with whisky

Yes, this is filled with whisky

Friday, November 01, 2013

A new art form

There's a new art form out and about in the world: Amazon reviews.  A lot of authors anguish about 1-star reviews for things like prices, delivery and "too much swearing" I sympathize.  But
at least you're not getting reviews like this one.

Not to mention my all-time favorite one: the three wolves shirt, although the Bic-For-Her pens give it a good run.

And the best ones are the people who are missing the irony gene and answer the questions seriously: Tuscan Milk Q&A (last entry)

(It's going to take you some time to read these reviews...don't start if you've got to be at work in five minutes, or the kids are hungry.)

It's hard to write funny but these reviews make it look easy.  I'm not sure what to call these amazing bits of creative genius. Review isn't right, essay isn't either.

Any ideas?


Amanda Capper said...

For the gummy bears, I believe authenticity makes this review SO REAL and certainly well-written. This guy did not make up this, review; he lived it. And I...I shall have these pictures he so aptly portrayed in my head all day. Thank you so much for this.

The wolves t-shirt was just plain funny because you know there are those out there who will think that review actually happened. Bless them.

The pen review was sharp...seriously...very witty. Made me laugh. Preferable over the gummy bear backlash.

Hopefully these reviewers are taking their writing on to greater levels. Their talent is being wasted on reviews very few people read.

Janet Reid said...

Hi Amanda, I don't know about the "very few" readers. 2600+ comments (on the wolf shirt) means at least 10x that number have read at least some of them! I'd be ok with that number of readers as a starting point!

ray said...

Absolutely delicious, Janet. You're right, it's a new art form. I'm going to share this with my FtQ readers.

LynnRodz said...

Thanks for sharing, this was hilarious!!! Your first link was too funny for words. (Gummy Bears, who knew?) Even the over 200 comments to the review, had me laughing. She definitely has a way with words! (Yes, C. Torok is a she.)

As for the Three Wolf T-shirt, almost 35,600 people out of 36,000 found the review "helpful". That means those 35,600 read it and clicked on the YES tab! Like Janet said, I wouldn't mind those numbers.

JD Paradise said...

I think these are either memoir (if it happened), or short stories (if it didn't). Mark Twain would have made a hell of a product reviewer.

ClothDragon said...

If you've missed it, there's also this one:

Terri Lynn Coop said...

Flash mobbing being raised to a new level.

Three Wolves is the gold standard because it was one of the first. My personal favorite is the uranium.

A perfect backlash to the utter stupidity of the range of products offered today. Now, my banana slicer is vintage. It's a collectible. So, stop it. Now. I mean it.


Christine Finlayson said...

I'd love book reviews like these! The wolf t-shirt reviewers and Bic-For-Her question answerers left me howling. Definitely an art form. Is a contest for the most hilarious product review on its way?

Calorie Bombshell said...

I "fondly" remember the Bic For Her pen. I wrote one of those crazy Amazon reviews. :-)

Steve Stubbs said...

My favorite review is about Harold Robbins, “the well known typist.” Second place goes to someone who said Sidney Sheldon was sometimes called a schlockmeister, ”but that insults schlock and meisters everywhere.” That construction has been ripped off endlessly since then, but I believe it may have been the first use of it. It was the first one I ever saw at any rate. Another goodie was a review of a play, not a book. The play “went on last night,” read the review. “And on, and on, and on.”

There was one book review on amazon that made me feel sorry for the “author.” The reviewer, a woman, would outline part of the plot, such as it was, and insert her own assessment: “ Come on.” Then more plot followed by: “Come on, woman!” And more plot, then: “COME ON.” The review was hilarious, but it felt more like a crucifixion than a review.

The upshot: If bullets and poison darts don’t bounce off your skin, don’t write.