I get a lot of queries for non-fiction; recently I've noticed you're giving in to temptation to list a series of problem, often in the form of rhetorical questions.
(We all know rhetorical questions are the kiss of death in a query right?)
I sense these query writers learned their pitching skills from late night television "What would you say if I could chop that tomato with a sword!"
(to which I'd say "I hope you're not planning to chop tomatoes in MY kitchen" but you get the point.)
Here's the thing about non-fiction; you need to pitch the SOLUTION right up front with the problem. Your book is about the solution first and foremost, not the problem.
Your book is about why your solution is better, faster, smarter than anyone else's.
If you're pitching a book about writing query letters you might say:
This book demonstrates an effective way to write and revise queries so writers communicate what their books are about in clear concise language.
The problem is: you know you're writing a crappy query letter.
The solution is: I'm going to show you how to write and revise your way out of the crap heap.
How you phrase that first sentence in a query letter for any non-fiction book can be the difference between me scoffing (tomato/sword) and me being interested (book that solves a problem I see everyday)