Yes, this is filled with whisky

Yes, this is filled with whisky

Friday, January 21, 2011

Winners of the Second DIVERGENT contest

Y'all knocked my sox off!  Of all the contests on this blog, this one had, hands down, the highest number of really terrific entries. Huzzah to you all.

These entries had GREAT lines:
"I reckon the scandal tied the noose round his neck but the sorrow pulled it tight.”
Kate Outhwaite 1:24pm

The flash of the camera was like sunlight to their flowered faces.
L.G. Smith 3:01pm

"And in this seedy motel that’s more mildew than carpet." 
Steve Forti 7:49am

"Go give Pastor Tim over there a lap dance.” 
Kristen Dickson 12:00noon

This was a great description:
"The neighbors had many names for her. Most popular were Senile, Scandal or from the nicer folks, Colorful. I always went with Gram."
Kelly 2:16pm

Mer-Bear isn't quite sure about this line, but I think it's hilarious:
“You booze, you snooze, Flair Bear.”
Christi Goddard 2:34pm

This one gave Mer-Bear quite the scare:
Brokenfingers 10:36am

The Herpet-American Assistant voted for this one:
CKHB 2:30pm

Homage to Sean Ferrell:
AKDD 7:14pm

Nice use of the word Jasper:
Jess 10:33pm

Closest guess of what links the words:
"And I'm guessing what links the five prompts is that each, on any given day, can be found within 10 feet of the Shark's desk."
Simon C. Larter 11: 13pm

Simon, if you'd said 25 feet you would have been spot on.  What linked the words was they referred in some way to the Suite 500 YA team:

Mildew-Volpe means "mildew" in German, so of course I call Joanna Volpe Mrs Mildew whenever I can.

scandal: a variation on Skendall, which is what we called Sara Kendall when we had several Saras in the office, and of course, it stuck.

snooze: yet another name for The Suzenator. We're not actually sure she sleeps at all though.

flair: Mer-Bear in the Lair, with flair!

jasper: if you got all the rest, this was the one that everyone stumbled on. Jasper is the name of Heather Evans dog.  He's a pawful.

Now for the finalists:
Wickerman 5:18pm

The radio shattered the quiet of the little bed room.

...scandal involving a walrus, a politician and Taylor Swift...

"Mildew, hit the snooze button. Mildew!"



... now for a thief with some flair for the dramatic. 5,000 pounds of jasper were stolen from...


"I'm trying! Keep a lid on it, Sandy."



Shaunna 1:30pm

When the anesthetic wore off, Bertha discovered the surgeon's unfortunate flair for removing organs. During her light snooze in the OR, he had divested her of her appendix, as scheduled, and also her left kidney, gall bladder, uterus, ovaries, and half of her liver.

Hours later, sprawled in the hospital bed with the smell of mildew lingering in her left nostril only, she began to suspect the loss of an olfactory gland as well.

A large, gilded cross, inset with jasper, hung opposite her, but she couldn't pray. She missed herself. Damn organ donor box, she thought. What a scandal!

And the winner, in the fiercest, most intense contest EVER is Shaunna.

Congratulations to everyone who entered!

Shaunna, email me your mailing address and we'll send you an ARC of DIVERGENT.  You're on your own for finding the five hours to read it, and if you're like me, it will be an hour of reading before bed, and four hours spent reading that were slated for sleep....and TOTALLY worth it.


Jennifer Welborn said...

Congratulations to all those mentioned and to Shauna :0)

L.G.Smith said...

Huzzah! Whew, you kept us waiting on this one. Congratulations to Shaunna. Well done.

wickerman said...

Congrats Shaunna!

Wish I had one, but it was cool to be a finalist!

Besides, I would have picked yours too!

Well done!

Joel said...

Excellent contest ... some fantastic entries ... way to go Shaunna!

I am sure you won by more than a nose!

Ari said...

Well done, everyone. Congratulations, Shauna!

wickerman said...

err... 'won' that is...

Writer of the future, yessir! That's me... Yuppers...


RC Jack said...

Congrats Shaunna! It's true, there were some great entries.

Best part of the contest - now when my writing buddies get down I can tell them that I've been rejected by mildew.

Thanks for the fun!

Simon Hay Soul Healer said...

Congrats Shaunna! Well done everyone, and thanks Janet. Happy writing everyone :)

jesse said...

Kudos Shaunna, and Congrats to everyone else, this was fun (^_^)

Michael G-G said...

Shaunna, you rock. This was totally inspired.

Okay, so I'm stuck in 1980s America, without access to internet and hence unable to enter this contest--and you have the highest damn number of amazing entries ever!?

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark. Just saying.

Kate Outhwaite said...

Wow! I'm not sure if this translates but I'm very chuffed about the name-check - especially considering the quantity and quality of the other entries.

Thank you, Janet, for organising the contest. It was really good fun from both a writing and a reading point of view.

Congratulations to Shaunna for such a well-crafted and entertaining story - and in so few words! PS: Should I be worried that it made me laugh out loud - twice? ;-)

Shaunna said...

Hey everybody, thanks for the well wishes. I'm totally stoked to have won, especially when there were so many ridiculously good entries. Funny, though, my husband happens to be a doctor, and he didn't find my entry amusing at all. :).

Steve Stubbs said...

Brilliant. I love that. I almost hope she does not start writing for publication because with that talent if she becomes competition, everyone else is toast.

Thank God I can still taste the toast and smell the coffee. On one side of my head anyway.