Meredith-the-godsend and I look at each other. The Suzenator is standing on her desk, autographing dollar bills from her last heated auction. Meredith and I race each reach for the phone. I win.
Me: Hello, FinePrint!
Caller: Is this a literary agent?
Me: (not sure of my name or job title after 12 hour flight from Alaska) Yes?
Caller: Well, can you tell me what to do?
Me: ----pause--- I'm pretty sure what I'm actually thinking is the wrong answer here.
Me: I'm sorry, what did you want to know?
Caller: I want to know how to send in my idea so it can be a book that gets published.
Me: Do you have access to the web? All the information is on our website.
Caller: What's the name of your website?
Me: (deeply suspicious that perhaps Dan Krokos is prank calling now) It's the name of the company.
Caller: Well, what's the name of your company?
Me: Do you know who you're calling?
Caller: You're a literary agent.
Me: Yes but do you know which one?
Me: Madam, where did you get this number?
Caller: it's on a website.
Me: which website?
Caller: I don't know exactly. It's a website that has names and phone numbers of literary agents.
Me: Our website address is WritersHouse.com Please feel free to call again any time.
Only sixteen words of this are not true. You can pick which ones.