Monday, August 16, 2010

Slay me with laughter contest results!

You certainly rose to the challenge of slaying us!

A lot of you offered cameo appearances that were amusing:
cupcakes - Ali (9:27am)
Barabara Poelle AND the last contest - jdh (10:12am)
The Gweat and Tewwible Avery Cates - Cin (3:51pm)
Me! - Katt at 7:33pm


The entry by veschwab (hi victoria!)
demonstrates someone needs to quit studying for her math test! (11:03am)

My new libation of choice come from Izzy at 12:09pm:
"Mix me a shot of Vodka, Amaretto, Triple Sec, and Everclear Cola, and make it snappy."


There were some individual lines that made me laugh out loud:
A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a bar, which is funny because zombies normally have great eyesight. (Lumpy Dog 11:21am)

“Ah, cut him some slack, Jane. His heart’s broken. Remember, to Eyre is human—” (Justwritecat 11:03pm)


Several of you had a lot of fun with the word BAR:
"A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walked into a Bar..nes and Noble." (wry wryter 4:47pm)

A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a bar association. (Princess Sara 2:41am)

A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a Bar-B-Q. (Derek Whisman 11:09am)

A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a barrister's office. (Rachael Harrie 6:53pm)


The award for outstanding achievement in the most graphic use of gore goes to:
Kit (11:42am)


The award for outstanding achievement in the despicable act of punning goes to:
Papillon Crew (11:41pm)

The award for outstanding achievement in publishing/academic humor:
Terri Coop (2:45pm)


And our two finalists are Clair and Heidi Britz


Clair's entry:
A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a bar.

They select a table next to the juke box. It’s playing Monster Mash.

“I hate this song.”

Zombie hits the table with his fist and a finger falls off. Vampire leans in to get a better look.

“Want me to fix it?”

“Forget it.”

He tosses it into the bowl of nuts.

“Another student asked me why zombies weren’t in Twilight today.”

“Not again.”

“I should just kill myself.”

“You’re all ready dead.”

“Rub it in why don’t you.”

Governess hands him a brochure. “Will you accept our help and go to treatment today?”

“No.”

“You could write a memoir.”

“Really?”



Heidi Britz's entry:

A monster-slaying governess, a vampire librarian, and a professorial zombie walk into a bar to commiserate after a long work week.

The vampire librarian grumbles,
“Thirteen teenage girls asked me if I sparkle. I whispered very loudly that if I am asked that again, I will gladly beat them to death with a thesaurus!”

The zombie nods in agreement and offers, “You think that’s bad? My boss fired me for losing two arms in one week on the job, something about conserving inventory and replacement costs. Damn economy.”

The governess smiled smugly, “I found out my lover’s ex wife is a crazy werewolf …AND the kids got the stomach flu.”

She won.




And the winner, selected by Sherri Browning Erwin (the monster slaying governess); Molly Harper (vampire librarian); and Robin Becker (professional zombie) is:

Heidi Britz!


Congratulations Heidi!


Send me your mailing address and we'll put your prize in the mail!
Thanks to all of you who slayed us!

13 comments:

Robin Becker said...

Those were so much fun to read--and difficult to judge because so many were great. Thanks everyone and thanks Janet for hosting! BRAAIINS!

Ali said...

The contest was a lot of fun. Congrats, Heidi! I really enjoyed your entry. :-)

love2wryte said...

Congrats Heidi!

And thanks to all -- the entries were a lot of fun!

Brad Jaeger said...

Congrats :)

Rachael Harrie said...

I really enjoyed the contest and reading all the different entries. Well done, Heidi - too funny for words! Can't wait for the next one...

Marjorie said...

Congratulations, Heidi. That was truly hilarious. A great punchline to an amazing setup. I saw awesome touches of Carlos Mencia.

Bane of Anubis said...

Both brilliant... though I leaned a bit more toward Clair's entry.

ryan field said...

Congrats to Heidi...I was following these things all weekend.

Saranna DeWylde said...

Congrats to everyone! These were all great.

Claire Svendsen said...

Congratulations Heidi !! I am proud and honored to be a finalist. There were so many great entries. I had fun reading them all.

Terri Coop said...

WTG to Claire for making the finals and to Heidi for the big win.

I found out about my "outstanding achievement" award via Facebook and couldn't get over here fast enough - w00t!

Thank you Janet, this is too much fun!

Terri (aka Terri 2:45)

Sarah Laurenson said...

Congrats Heidi!

These were so much fun to read. Thanks everyone who entered.

Heidi Britz said...

WOW-what a fantastic end to a crummy week :) Thank you for your kind words. Claire, I LOVED your memoir reference-hilarious!! I am looking forward to lots of great reading soon and thank you again!

heidibritz@att.net