Thursday, July 15, 2010

New Query Requirements

Heck with email, all queries must now be audio, and sent by Batman. Here's the template

47 comments:

Linda G. said...

Ha! Forget about this Dan person. Sign Batman!

Elisabeth Black said...

So funny!

Alyson Greene said...

OOOOHHHH, so THAT's what you mean by voice...

Patty Blount said...

*groans*

Debra L. Schubert said...

Nothing like a great laugh first thing in the morning! (What, 10:54AM isn't first thing in the morning?)

thelisas said...

Dang, I can only afford Robin.

Linda Godfrey said...

Audio is no prob; it's just so very hard to get Batman out of that Bat Cave these days.

Tahereh said...

*falls out of chair*

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Patrick DiOrio said...

Holy batshit and that ain't no Joker.

Scott said...

LOL

Tom M Franklin said...

to show my age a bit, i think all audio queries should come from William Dozier, the producer and narrator of the original 1966 Batman TV series. he had a gift for narrating the perfect pitch, just what every aspiring writer needs.

of course, Dozier is dead, which would make this idea a bit difficult...

Francis said...

This is what we call a ROFL moment

"If you're not interested screw you, 'coz I'm the Batman!"

LTM said...

"How one bat found love in a cave..." LOL! :D awesomeness.

Justin W. Parente said...

WOW, that is too awesome.

Tamaryn Tobian said...

I'm in tears at my desk and people are looking at me weird. Thank you. This was hilarious.

"I'm the BatMan!"

Tara Maya said...

LOL!

Little Ms Blogger said...

This was priceless! Thanks for a good laugh.

Dan Krokos said...

Do not listen to him. I don't know Batman, and I can't vouch for his fiction novel memoir.

Meredith Barnes said...

Does this template still apply to Tragi-fantasy paranormal memoirs?

suemont said...

Be careful what you wish for!

Julie Weathers said...

rofl That's hilarious.

Milo James Fowler said...

"That boy can format words." I'll keep this in mind for my next fiction-novel-memoir-thing...

Rick Anderson said...

Batdude says Borus was murdered...or was he? Read the book to find out.

adam.purple said...

Only by Batman? Well, there goes my "Hulk want representation" idea.

Candyland said...

Note to self: Have Batman be my guide from now until forever.

VR Barkowski said...

Are you serious? I only ask 'cause I know Batman, and he owes me a favor...

Ulysses said...

Batman has written a memoir, therefore your argument is invalid.

Adding just a touch more absurdity to this is the existence of Back to the Batcave, the memoir of Adam West (who played Batman)... which shows that even when you try, sometimes you can't get weirder than reality.

Glen Akin said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

kathy taylor said...

Next thing, Janet, you'll want a tour of the bat cave.

Valerie Geary said...

So... there were a couple places in there where Batman sounded like Cookie Monster. Coincidence? Or....?

Tawna Fenske said...

Oh God, stop laughing -- it just encourages him.

:)

Tawna

Michelle Hodkin said...

That is the best thing I have ever

ever

heard.

Aimee L Salter said...

Do not, under any circumstances, accept this query. The Batman in this recording is a fraud because...

I'M the BatMan...thing.

He's plagiarizing my stuff.

Jerk.

K. M. Walton said...

Absolutely perfect.

Sheri Strong said...

I have to admit that I panicked when I saw "New Query Requirements" before the Batman stuff! I was thinking "just when I had her old query how-tos all figured out for when I finally get this novel written and now they're changed! LOL"

Love Batman. Love Robin.
Don't love undies over tights. :)

Carradee said...

*grins* *chuckles* *keeps grinning*

I'm showing my brother this.

Mystery Robin said...

If I can't find Batman, can Jack Reacher just drop it off?

Alwyn said...

Hahaha, that was legendary. I was really not expecting that! Especially since I hit the link, then my computer lagged, and I got up to go to brush me teeth while I waited and suddenly I heard an incredibly ominous voice coming from my supposedly empty bedroom. Nothing quite like being absolutely terrified then completely amused!

Eva said...

That just made my day. Haha.

Ricky Bush said...

Does this mean I have a shot at sending a re-query to you?

wry wryter said...

The volumn was turned up.
Husband asleep.
Clicked on link.
Woke up husband.
"What F--- is that," says he.
"Batman," says I, turning down volumn.
"Bat who," he asks.
"Batman."
"Fat man?"
"Go back to sleep honey."
Now he wants an ice cream.
Next it's going to be you know what.
Thanks Batman, sex and ice cream, mmmmm

Becca said...

Pretty nice. But I have to admit it made me think of Rorschach before I thought of Batman.

Marjorie said...

This is for Michelle re:

"That is the best thing I have ever

ever

heard."

Where? On The Gong Show?

Soooz said...

Now THAT was clever marketing strategy. Dan even managed to sound like George Clooney. Dan deserves a shot at publication simply for having balls much larger than a bats and enough desire to be seen and heard to grab attention.

Bravo.

Brad Jaeger said...

"I've written a fiction novel memoir". Holy confusion, Batman!

Wings said...

"some stuff happens in this novel fiction memoir and, uh, you should read it"

LOL!!!

I am going to do a yoda query for my novel

"read you must, for the vampires come they will, kill you they shall"

thewritegroove said...

I actually caught a little Christian Baleness in there and got a little turned on. ;)