Monday, January 04, 2010
I looked at those daunting stats for 2009 and realized I read a LOT of mss, maybe too many. Then I see Jennifer Jackson's (a fiercely talented agent and one of the Maass-keteers) blog post about her 2009 stats.
She read a LOT fewer than I did, and signed MORE clients. Harrumph!
Ok, I'm resolved: I'm holding firm; I'm toeing the line; I'm resolute. By GODIVA I will request LESS!
I brace myself at the e-query mailbox. I drape myself in righteousness. I hum a martial tune. I gird my - whatever you gird these days - for battle. I am READY.
I read a query. I read another. I say no with diligence. I march on, certain of my resolution, noble in my intent.
And then, from the tall grass, you pounce. You POUNCE! On ME!
Whatever girding there was falls to the wayside.
The martial tune breaks off.
My resolve isn't so much resolved as dissolved.
How am I supposed to resist good pages?? I ask you, how am I to fend off your siren song of prose.
I drape myself across the keyboard and feebly tap out: SEND FULL.
You pouncing prosers are word hooligans of the worst sort. You lie in wait for us unsuspecting readers. You disarm us with your stories, arrest us with your similes, defeat us with your diction.
You take no prisoners, you vanquish us with your verbiage.
It was a good resolution while it lasted-- about as long as it took to read this blog post.
I slink off to read.
You can buy the octopus I shamelessly stole.