Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sheepicide

Sheep are stupid.
I've known this ever since I made the mistake of buying two at a farm auction once, long long ago.
Looking into their eyes was just like looking at a taxidermy specimen.

I didn't keep them long enough to experience what Kari Dell describes on her blog this morning.

Here's the line that made me snort coffee: At some point, you become resigned to the fact that if a sheep isn't dead, it's because he hasn't got around to it yet

19 comments:

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! Hilarious. Thanks for sharing. (Your really bought two sheep?)

green_knight said...

Well known fact. A horse is a vet bill waiting to happen; but if you consider a sheep dead you're never far off the truth.

Haste yee back ;-) said...

I find the same about armadillos... Personally, I think they're genetically incapable of staying alive while crossing asphalt!

Haste yee back ;-)

Kari Lynn Dell said...

Seriously. You bought sheep? Excuse my impertinence and all...but what WERE you thinking?

Kari Dell
http://www.montanaforreal.blogspot.com

Travis Erwin said...

Yeah, but about all a sheep can look forward to is ending up as a fluffy seat cover beneath some fat sweaty guy's ass, so i can't says I blame them for suicidal thoughts.

D. Michael Olive said...

They're not as dumb as farm turkeys. You can leave them out in the rain or they'll stare up at the sky with their beaks open and ultimately drown.

 Patrick Lee said...

Okay, this isn't technically a sheep, but... how many blog posts are appropriate places to link to a talking goat video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0S5zS8jSE4

laughingwolf said...

ah, but without sheep, a true haggis is nae possible... of course, it helps if the sheep is dead at the time ;) lol

Elizabeth McKenzie said...

Sheep, turkey, peacocks,birds in general are pretty stupid. Even some people are stupid like sheep. Sometimes I feel like I am. Great post, I laughed.

Kerry said...

you had sheep? really?

Josin L. McQuein said...

I was going to bring up turkeys, but D.Michael beat me to it.

The longer you live on and around farms and farm animals, you realize that "live"stock is more wishful thinking than anything else.

Rick Daley said...

That's too baaaaaaaad.

Stephanie said...

Sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their heads, there's no shifting it.

Mira said...

Rick! Oh, that's terrible. Lol.

Janet, how does one accidentally buy two sheep! This is going to drive me nuts!

But what's going to drive me nuttier is trying to figure out how you got rid of the sheep.

You did, right? They're not still in your backyard?

:-)

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

I'm amazed there are any sheep left in the world, considering their shear (LOL) determination to croak.

Bobbie said...

My parents made an effort at having an urban farm when I was a kid. We had goats, chickens, rabbits, and finally, a sheep. Her name was Hot Lips and she was the most violent, evil creature ever to take up residence on a farm. She would charge anyone who came near her (very large) pen and we have a photo of her tossing a family friend up in the air after plowing into him. We were all terrified of her. It took my father, two brothers, and that very brave and bruised friend to load Hot Lips back into our Volkswagon van (not the ideal farm vehicle, I know)and take her back to her the man who sold her. She was more homicidal than suicidal and forever changed how I view sheep and lambs.

Fawn Neun said...

My parents bought us a lamb when we lived in a rural burb in upstate New York. I was four. Shortly thereafter, I was told the lamb had to be returned to its mother. Apparently the truth was a bit more horrific - it had drowned itself in its water bucket.

They didn't tell me until I was 36.

I sent the link to my mother.

suzie said...

hahaha, hilarious! I can't picture you buying two sheep :)

Jane Smith said...

Sheep are vile. And far more stupid than you give them credit for.

Sheep look at my car every morning as I drive my kids to school and run away from it in panic even if that means running IN FRONT OF my car as we drive down the track.

Sheep squelch when they run away from you, because their tail-wool (makes me wince just typing that) gets so soggy because they can't learn to hold their tails up when they toilet.

Sheep jump over fences that are too high for them to jump over then don't understand that they've got a foot stuck in the wire, and so they pull and pull until they dislocate their own hip and DIE from it and right up until the last minute they do nothing but bleat a bit and eat the grass in a semicircle around themselves.

I am not a big fan of sheep. And yes, I've had a ewe and her two lambs on my SOFA when I once left my back door open for less than 30 seconds. I needed a reupholsterer to sort that one out. I should have used the shotgun. Eugh.