"Fiction is the purest art. Commercial fiction is the butter, the darkest chocolate, and the finest malt. That's why we are so addicted to it."--Angie Brooksby-Arcangioli
Wonderful Janet, finally an acceptable format.
If it's chocolate, I'm going to beseige you with really horrible queries. Oh boy, oh boy.
I seriously heart CakeWrecks. I'm particularly partial to the unnecessary quotes and other editfail displays.Those and the naked mohawk-baby carrot jockeys.
Great. The old fashioned rejection letter got people depressed, which made them fat, and the new fashioned rejection letter will get them fat, which will make them depressed. How about singing telegrams?
OMG, I love it!
Well thanks a lot! I just spent an entire hour looking at CakeWrecks instead of writing. Curse you Janet!
Instead of writing all night, I looked at cakes. It's not a very useful way to spend my time...unless one of my characters becomes a baker...and then I could justify it as "research."
Only one thing could possibly make that rejection better: if the frosting was chocolate ;)Of course no rejection is good - but at least this way I could have my query and eat it too.
Do we get to keep the delivery boy too?
Who knew rejection could be so sweet?
Make mine chocolate, please.
I could handle that kind of rejection. Should we include what sort of cake we'd like, or is there a form recipe (chocolate cake, white icing)?
That's one rejection I wouldn't mind getting. =o)
That's hilarious! By the way, isn't that how were are supposed to send our queries? I thought it would give my letter that extra oomph!
^Writing a bad query as we speak. I'm really hungry. :-)
Seems a little wordy. Perhaps you could edit it down to fit on a petit four.
I'd query for cake. Even if I didn't have a book, I might query for cake.
Now to generate the worst query in the history of literature. I'm starving.
You may be better served using that as your acceptance letter - you'll go broke with the number of rejections you send out!
Please wait until after Lent to send my rejection.
Perfect! Bring on the rejections!
with a cute guys holding a fattening cake - oh yeah! Ill take them - I mean it! ;)
I knew there was a reason for writing!
Awesome! Nearly everyone loves cake ;)
That would certainly take the sting out of the rejection. : )
Mine's salty. Oh wait, it's just tears. I'll just cut another piece from the far side.
If I hadn't just finished off some chicken with dumplings for breakfast I'd query immediately. Maybe tomorrow. Could you arrange pink roses, candied violets and a blond delivery boy please?
I STRONGLY SUPPORT THIS.
I am totally going to start sending queries for every vampire/love story/inspirational journey/whatever else I can come up with just to have cke delivered by cute boy. Really, what's better than that?
Ha! We reject your book but please indulge in gaining weight and feeling even more worthless with the extra pounds solace cake. Sorry. Couldn't resist that one. Is it no wonder I fear my first query letter. The book will be the easy part. (Hugs)Indigo
I can see the ad now:"Failure never tasted so good!"Maybe I'll try submitting a poem this way....
REJECTION CAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!Dear Janet, I have a wonderful book for you that is a delightful combination of libretto (opera, that is, not Broadway musical style) and manga, a memoir about the author's experiences as a vampire mermaid, with some photographs of the author's sister's strawberry garden, but brought together artistically and cohesively. Although I'm afraid the author's (that is, my) pagan elders will have to vet any changes you want to make to the proposal before you submit it to major houses and get me a six million dollar book deal. So what do you think? Do you want my pagan elders, or do you want to send me cake?CHOOSE RIGHT.Love, Moonrat
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