Friday, January 02, 2009

Prowling around your blogs

Yes, I do it.

If you subscribe to this blog, chances are, one of these days, I'll slink by. Middle of the night, start of the day, it's one of the take-a-break things I like best.

Today I found this:

Even if you don’t believe in prayer, just think kind thoughts about the person who is making your life miserable. It’s like Pepto Bismol for a troubled spirit.



Thanks Julie Weathers,
whom I actually know from
the Surrey Writers Conference
and like a whole lot.

23 comments:

JKB said...

Can you tell if we subscribe if I do through Google reader?

Or do I need to go the old, conventional method?

Ann Victor said...

Gulp. Why does this sound scary? Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the (blog)water...

BJ said...

Hmm. I suppose I should update my blogs. Maybe that should be a New Year's resolution: update both blogs at least once per week.

Unfortunately, I don't consider either of my blogs to be personal, or I'd put up a big HI, JANET! just in case.

bunnygirl said...

Years ago, I was told that if I didn't like someone, I should pray for good things to happen to them. Well, I'm a pretty easygoing gal and I rarely dislike anyone. If I do, you can bet it's because they're really evil and I'm sure not going to pray for them!

So I found a workaround. I pray that the evil bastard in question become a good person, worthy of prayers and good wishes.

I do what I can. And if my thoughts have ever turned evil into good, would someone please let me know? I could have a whole new career ahead of me!

Julie Weathers said...

"If I do, you can bet it's because they're really evil and I'm sure not going to pray for them!"

I have known evil. Even if you don't want to pray or think kind thoughts for them, do it for yourself. Bitterness and anger will eat you alive.

CJ Raymer said...

I do believe that. Thinking bad thoughts about bad people on a continual basis does nothing for me but bring me down and suck my creative juices absolutely dry. Now, I'm not saying that I don't think a few little bad thoughts. I just tend to stop and shake it off and try my best to "let it go" before my head and heart are full of that person's funk. I don't want to become infected with their personal misery.

Julie Weathers said...

"I don't want to become infected with their personal misery."

Bingo.

Ugly Deaf Muslim Punk Gurl! said...

that's a nice quote, although a little too kind for my tastes.

Everyone is welcomed to check out my blog:

http://DeadAmericanDream.blogspot.com

cheers!

Julie Weathers said...

Janet, thanks for stopping by. If I'd known you were coming I'd have baked a cake.

Thank you also for your kind words.

If any of you ever get a chance to take one of Janet's workshops, jump on it.

Julie

ryan field said...

Now that's an example of a great simile.

Pamala Knight said...

Thanks for sharing Julie's words of wisdom, Janet. And should you ever find yourself in my neck of the blogosphere, the Macallan is on the sideboard with the bar glasses just below.

Kwana said...

Wonderful thought!

Merry Monteleone said...

Thinking bad thoughts about bad people on a continual basis does nothing for me but bring me down and suck my creative juices absolutely dry.

Ah, see, you should be torturing them in fiction... releases the tension and won't get you jail time :-)

It's a good quote, Julie, but then, you've given me a number of 'aha' moments in the time I've been following your blog and comments.

Janet, feel free to stop by anytime... with my luck it'll be on a fluff or paid posting day, but still..

Crystal-Rain Love said...

You're welcome to my blog any time. Maybe I should post some excerpts... ( - :

Beth said...

I love that quote from Julie. It sounds just like her.

Jill Wheeler said...

*tosses the dirty underwear out of sight and sets out some milk and cookies... i mean pictures of george clooney*

Aimless Writer said...

Kind thoughts?
Ewww, no one tells you how hard that is, how much it irks your soul to think of that little B*tch and say...oooo, I wish her well...
I'm reduced to thinking just; I wish her karma and letting the universe take care of her.
Issues? Who me? lol
Once I was involved in a hit and run. The whole day I couldn't bring myself to hate the man who hit me so I just kept saying; I wish him karma. That night my car guy found his license plate imprinted on my back bumper. (Yes, that's how hard he hit me.)Cops just went to his house and picked him up. Karma baby!
I think I need to go read Julie's blog. Me soul needs some uplifting.

Becky Mushko said...

So what kind of good thoughts should I think about the guys who stole my tombstone?

I'll have to ponder this. (And yeah, one of my New Year's resolutions is to buy myself a new tombstone.)

Julie Weathers said...

"So what kind of good thoughts should I think about the guys who stole my tombstone?"

Possibly the same thoughts Corrie Ten Boom thought about the people who killed her sister or me about my mother-in-law who boldly announced, "I knew you were going to kill that baby," after my daughter died.

Bitterness eats you alive.

BJ said...

"So what kind of good thoughts should I think about the guys who stole my tombstone?"

'I hope you get to use it soon'?

Julie, take comfort in the fact that there's a little part of Hell reserved for people like that. Imagine millions of those people crammed into a little room, getting (literally) on each other's nerves.

Julie Weathers said...

BJ, I really don't wish that on anyone I know. As fate would have it, I was the one who cared for her after my father-in-law passed away.

Thinking kind thoughts isn't so you will be a good person; it's so you will survive the hard times without losing your love of life.

Taymalin said...

From a psychological perspective, allowing yourself to hate someone, or wish bad things on them can be therapeutic.

There's a problem, especially with extreme cases--such as people who've been abused, or lost a family member to murder--where people feel guilty for not being as forgiving as our society suggests is appropriate and they make themselves sick.

I'm not saying to hold on to the negative feelings, but a lot of people will suppress them out misplaced feelings of charitable guilt, and it's not any healthier than the alternative.

Me, I don't wish bad things on people. I trust that Karma will have her say, and she's a bigger bitch than I am. Or, I put them in a story and get my feelings out of my system, which is the healthiest thing I can do to deal with negativity.

B

Julie Weathers said...

"There's a problem, especially with extreme cases--such as people who've been abused, or lost a family member to murder--where people feel guilty for not being as forgiving as our society suggests is appropriate and they make themselves sick."

So, what is the breaking point?

I don't think anyone should feel guilty for not forgiving someone they feel has harmed them. What works for me, and a lot of people, is to genuinely try to think kind thoughts or pray for the person. I don't have to forget what they did, but I do need to release it.

Dwelling on hatred doesn't make anything better.

Acknowledging what happened and then dealing with it works for me.

If someone has taken something from me, I can't help that. I do have control over them taking my joy.