Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Those people who query me, also call 911

And here's the proof.
(audio clip)

"I'm an American citizen and I have a right to complain" is going on my business cards!

And here is the plot of my next acquisition.

15 comments:

Anne-Marie said...

I don't know how the 911 operators keep it together sometimes.

Ryan Field said...

I sure hope the find the blond, because it doesn't sound like he's going to get another one soon.

clindsay said...

Never have I wanted to bang someone's head against a wall more than after listening to that idiot. Tell me again why killing stupid people is illegal?

BJ said...

"Someone stole her! Nude!"

LOL

I hate to say it, but I had a similar experience as in the recording from the Burger King. I was answering technical calls for a local internet organization. A woman called, saying she wanted to buy some diet drugs. I said we were an internet provider. We didn't sell diet drugs. "I want to order some," she insisted. It went back and forth like that for about ten minutes before she cried "How am I supposed to buy these drugs from a company like yours!" then hung up. Funny, but she really did sound an *awful* lot like the lady in that recording...

Ben Babcock said...

"Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and enforce your Western bacon cheeseburger."

Best. Line. Ever.

I work at the front desk of an art gallery. I'm not an artist; I just work there. A couple of weeks ago, a woman phoned. "Hello? Is this the Art Gallery? I'm from [a small town outside our city] and I have $7500 and I want to put on an art show. Is there anyone there who can help me with that?"

Had she been there, I would have given her a blank stare: the answer is no. At least, I think it's no. Since I never want to turn someone away who later turns out to be important, I told her I could take a message for our director (who was actually physically out of the building at the time). Her response: "Well, that's what I've been getting all day. I've been calling around all day, and you're the first human I've spoken to!"

No, really? I don't know why anyone would try to avoid you! She then threatened to "give up on art" and "do a music show instead."

Haste yee back ;-) said...

The California hamburger...

If you've never lived in CA, the first thing you MUST learn is the entrenched sense of ENTITLEMENT bestowed upon all Valley Girls.

They are taught to take any dissatisfaction with life to the highest authority for immediate rectification... When alone in a car, the highest authority for anything from a botched hamburger to a broken fingernail is 911!

Having lived there - it makes perfect sense to me. I mean, what's a girl to do? C'mon now!

Haste yee back ;-)

Picks By Pat said...

Here's my 911 call:

Yes, sir what is your emergency?

"I queried an agent and she didn't ask for a partial!"

jnantz said...

Ms. Reid,
I have an idea you might just love. I'd like to invite you to spend a day in my classroom at any point in any school year. No matter the class or the students, you will find multiple examples of people who have not been taught at home how to handle a crisis (such as a cheeseburger botched FOUR TIMES...gasp) in a rational and mature manner.

What they HAVE been taught is exactly what Haste Yee Back mentioned...find the highest authority possible and complain as deafeningly as possible. This is ESPECIALLY true if everyone is telling you it's your fault, because momma always said THAT just wasn't possible.

I don't know if that would actually help you, but it might make ME feel better if it inspired you to suddenly start sending out a new form rejection for those SPECIAL cases that reads something like, "I now have your address, and I'm currently debating whether to drive to your home and slap you, or find your parents and shoot them." 'Cause I'd get fired for saying that, but you would just get a nice chuckle and then move on to the next query....

:D

Jaye Wells said...

This is my new favorite web site. Thank you for introducing me to my new favorite web site. If you haven't listened to them yet, I recomend "Black Magic" and "Taco Problem."

Catherine Haines said...

That reminds me, I need to find that one of the cop who got high and called 911, thinking he had died.

KP Sheridan said...

Wow....

...just...

wow...

Lauren said...

I'd laugh but I'm too busy crying.

Is this what we have come to--whining replacing honor, entitlement replacing sacrifice, selfishness replacing neighborly concern, consumership replacing citizenship?

I truly grieve for us as a people.

BJ said...

Well, they're not going to post the ones from people calling because their neighbour's house is on fire, or because they stepped in to help someone in a fight. They're only going to post the most ridiculous.

So, if you're basing society's selfish/lessness on these, you're using a skewed sample.

Heather B. Moore said...

I could never work at a 911 call center. I think I'd go crazy.

Bette said...

I agree with Lauren. This 911 call, if it's real (and it's only slightly less pathetic if it's a spoof), is horrible to me. It might be funny if there wasn't the possibility of an emergency call being bumped to "hold" status while this moron calls about her burger. Imagine someone's child, trapped in a burning house, her mother frantically calling 911, while this (certainly) obese, self-centered, self-righteous pig makes her call about her burger. Yes, this is a portion of America that makes me ashamed, and represents, on a micro level, why we are despised by much of the rest of the world.