All is quiet Chez Shark.
*a strangled squawk from the intercom*
I do not respond to unscheduled visitors** so the intercom is ignored.
The intercom squawks twice more and is ignored twice more.
I am supine on the snot green couch, contemplating choices for the evening's entertainment:
The Great British Baking Show
or
The Godfather 1, then 2, then 3.
The doorbell rings likes it's auditioning for the role of Alarm Clock in Fantasia.
Shocked out of somnolence, crashing to the floor, hopelessly befuddled, I go to the door. Look out the peephole.
No one there.
Open the door.
A delivery bag smelling quite succulent hangs on the door knob.
A food delivery?
I fear I have started sleep dialing Seamless.
Is that a COVID-19 symptom??
Consult phone.
Sure enough, a series of increasingly frustrated texts from delivery guy trying to get in the main door.
"But I didn't order any food" I text back, secretly thinking "don't even hope to get this back, bucko!"
Seamless Delivery Dude who is literally risking his life to do his job these days refrains from replying with the obvious "you dunderhead, how did I get your name and address AND PHONE NUMBER by mistake."
I check the contents of the bag
Hamburger! Fries! Milkshake!! Food I did not have to cook, pots and pans
I do not have to wash. Talk about deliverance!
I check the order form.
Aha!
The order form has a comment box:
"From your youngest sister, you know the one who is the second best Christmas present?"The year I was ten, I got a horse for Christmas. The year I was 18, I got a sister for Christmas.
Sagittarius now has a real shot at the #1 spot on the Best Christmas Gift list!
 |
| I am clutching the milkshake as I snap the photo! |
**After the Unfortunate Interaction with the Jehovah's Witness visitors
who knocked on the door when I was stripping paint with a heat gun.
They literally RAN down the stairs when I opened the door.
I guess I forgot to turn off the heat gun.
you got a horse for Christmas! wow!
ReplyDeleteI got five younger sisters and brothers over the year.
A horse would have been really nice.
A horse WOW !
ReplyDeleteThe best gift I ever got was a desk filled with writing and drawing supplies. I was ten. That Christmas story became one of my favorite articles over fifty years later.
BTW heat guns look scary but can't match my Black and Decker power drill.
What day is it? No, really.
ReplyDeleteHello, world? How you been?
I see from the post the world is still shut down. Ok, leaving this world until it reopens a pub or two. Be safe everyone.
And I have a fever, can't breathe, and an annoying cough. Allergies that like pretending to be a deadly virus. That's fun. Ok, I'm out.
Sisters (an Sagittarians) are wonderful, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteGlad you are hunkering so diligently.
I got a horse when I was young though not for Christmas. I never got a sibling for Christmas or for any other time and my BFF has lived in Austria for almost 30 years now so I have no hope of a hamburger on my doorknob.
ReplyDeleteI think you're pretty well loved :)
I actually got outside and sat in the sun yesterday, even though I was wrapped in a jacket. Today, we're back to the gray, rainy stuff usually associated with spring in Michigan.
Is this Tuesday? Belgium anyone? Vicariously?
I'm losing my mind...
No incredible Christmas presents like that (though my family has has horses since well before I was born)...but when I was 2, I got a sister for my birthday. When I was 13, her cat gave me a cat.
ReplyDeleteIt is insane how many people (and animals) I know whose birthdays are on/extremely close to mine. I've started a list.
Nightsmusic, it is indeed Tuesday. *checks phone* Yep, Tuesday.
Thank you for posting this, because I really enjoyed reading it. Have an enjoyable day.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I haven't had the courage to watch GBBO with the new hosts and judge. Is it really as good? I can't imagine the show without Mary, Mel and Sue...
ReplyDeleteLike S.V. Farnsworth, thank you for posting this, I really enjoyed reading this too!!!
ReplyDeleteI said "Aww" out loud the moment I read the message to the delivery. Lovely, lovely thing to do; lovely, lovely baby sister to have!
I hope you enjoyed the burger, fries and milkshake! <3
ReplyDeleteJanet getting a horse for Christmas is all I'm thinking of now.
Also, it got me wondering if my older sister thinks I was a gift when the universe coughed me out into her world. I know that right now she thinks I am whatever the opposite of a gift is lol
Stay inside or stay back 6 feet everyone!
Well that's just an all around good story!
ReplyDeleteNo amazing Christmas presents, but I did get a sister for Thanksgiving! And I could see her doing something like this too!
P.S. Is it too early for a hamburger?
Aww... I love this. Sweet sister! I'm the baby of six. My oldest sister and I never lived together - she was married and pregnant with her fist child when our mother was pregnant with me. And so, my niece and I are the same age.
ReplyDeleteAnd, HORSES!
I'm diving back into a manuscript that I felt certain was finished and polished. Simply to see if I decide it needs a few changes.
A burger and fries can be a beautiful thing for a day, those that care make a beautiful day every day. Stay safe for them.
ReplyDeleteI have Kathy to cook for and she has me to cook for. That makes the effort worth it.
Covid is a very juicy virus it is not the dry hack of allergies, I have a reason to find these things out. I am number 10,000 and something on our county test queue. So far we have gotten 2900 test kits from the government.
Wow, a horse for Christmas! I'm pure envy right now. And the burger and fries look so good. Sisters are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHave a safe day, everyone.
Sagittarians rule! I was the lump of coal in my brother's stocking. My best Christmas gift was the barre my dad installed in our basement to support my brilliant but short-lived career in ballet (it ended when I was 12, alas).
ReplyDeleteI could really go for doorknob hamburger right about now. Hope you recover quickly, Craig F!
Awesome sister!
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome. Poor delivery guy.
ReplyDeleteHamburger and fries look delicous. What a thoughtful sister you have.
Is it terribly sad that the diet has ruined me? I passed by a Burger King the other day, well, the other week and it smelled so good I had to buy one. Ate two bites and threw it away.
I've lost my taste for them. I hope this passes.
There's been so much talk of biscuits, I made some to go with the chicken last night. They were pretty good. Ate two and threw the rest away.
Salted caramel shake for breakfast. It was, indeed, rainbows and unicorn dreams. Not quite as good as the lemon cheesecake, but pretty darned tasty.
Awesome about the horse for Christmas. That would have been the best Christmas ever.
I got a pony once. Bimbo was very used to being fed on time. Aunt rose had him in the barn. She was going to surprise me with him until he started nickering to remind people it was time to eat.
"That's a horse."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is. I have a horse."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
I beat a path with all haste, following the nickers to my little Paint pony who was very glad to see me.
We had horses, but they were out in the pasture.
It's election day in Wisconsin. I will venture out of my den to vote.
A friend from California contacted me yesterday. "I wish you'd been visiting when the travel ban dropped. I would love to be trapped with you." It gladdened my heart.
I am just about done with this round of revisions and one more scene to add, then back to Save the Cat Writes a Novel. We have decided Rain Crow is Rite of Passage. I thought it was Dude with a Problem, but when you look at it closer, it fits closer to Rite of Passage.
Jessica Brody has some of the information, beat sheets free on her website I think.
I hope all are doing well.
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. -- Les Brown
What a wonderful sister! I hope you thoroughly enjoyed every last bite.
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing a young shark getting a horse for Christmas. I'm wondering how the horse felt about that.
ReplyDeleteI asked for a horse E V E R Y Christmas and Birthday after I read The Black Stallion, et al, and then Black Beauty, and then a load of far more obscure horse books when I was very small (like, single-digit small). I never got a horse. I also asked for a dog, and didn't have one of THOSE until buying a house as an adult. Bless my dad's friends, for always letting me walk their dogs.
ReplyDeleteSurprise burger-and-fries is a really amazing surprise! Also bless your sister <3
One of my friends and partners-in-writing-group-crime works at a local grocery store, and had a free ham and nothing to do with it (they're vegetarian leaning), and I about broke my phone shouting in the group chat to see if I could have it. So I had a ham on my porch, briefly. The puppy stood up like a meerkat when I brought it inside!
I'm afraid to admit I'm jealous of your burger and fries. Our lockdown means all restaurants and fast-food places are closed so there's no way to eat except cooking for ourselves. Which is fine because I like to cook, but every now and then a good greasy burger and fries is exactly what you crave, and home-made just isn't the same.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome sister! I'm an only child, so I never had any of that experience.
ReplyDeleteI've never really been one to order in food, but I've been doing it like mad lately. For anyone in downtown Manhattan, if you like wrap sandwiches, Wolfnights is THE place for you. www.wolfnightsusa.com Not cheap, but so worth it. Each week, I order 2 wraps and an order of chicken tenders, which takes care of 3 meals this week.
I hope everyone is doing well. At this point, I'm just looking forward to going through a week without hearing about someone I knew succumbing to this hideous virus. Stay safe & happy
I've got an opening for a step-sister. If Sage would like it, it's hers. Heck, even if she doesn't want it, she's hired. I could eat that box... except the packaging is the problem, my wife keeps telling me. Ugh, is there no escape?
ReplyDeleteWe had our critique group by Zoom today, and it's rather enjoyable. But you have to remind yourself not to roll your eyes -- you're not just on a conference call!
Never thought to ask for a horse when I was a kid. Or maybe I did and got a resounding 'No'. My memory isn't that long.
ReplyDeleteAlso a long time ago, I got a sister about a month after my first birthday and a few weeks before Christmas. I was not impressed. When I got another baby sister a year and some later, I'd moved on.
The best Christmas present in recent memory (which means last Christmas) was from my baby sister: a pencil drawing of Little Girl Dog, who had passed back in September. It so perfectly captured LGD's personality. I may have shed a tear or two.
Since I'm not allowed out of the residence - we're in lockdown - I've been ordering in food a couple times a week. It breaks the boredom.
Loved the story, Janet. Surprises like that keep the world moving when it feels stagnant.
Thank you for this post, Janet, it made me smile.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted a sister. Instead I wound up with twin brothers who gleefully send me ‘Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!’ cards once a year.
ReplyDeleteThat was a lovely story, Janet. What a wonderful sister. But also kudos to the delivery guy - he got the job done under trying circumstances ;)
ReplyDeleteCraig, I hope you feel better soon and don't need the test!
PAH, I've only seen a couple of episodes of the first season with the new line-up. Like you, I wasn't sure about the change, but it's definitely worth watching (I don't have access to watch the rest of the season myself, sadly).
Julie, take care heading out to vote (take your own pen!).
It's only brekky time here... is that too early for hot chips? I might rethink dinner plans. I was going to cook porcupines with mashed spuds and veg. Might have to turn the mince into hamburgers and make wedges to go with them. Mmmmmmm.
I can't believe she wasn't already #1 on that list. Sagittarius sisters are the best and most intelligent, creative, wise sisters EVAR. Just ask any of my three sisters . . . um, never mind.
ReplyDeleteElise and Craig, please take care of yourselves. And keep checking in?
You mean, it's a true story? I assume after the fast food, you ended up watching the Godfather instead of the cooking show. The horse's head might be bad for digestion, though.
ReplyDeleteYes, sending concerned thoughts and best wishes to Elise and Craig!
ReplyDelete