Her Grace and Sleekness the Duchess of Yowl: Pick me up, I want to sit on you.
Me: I'm trying to work here.
DoY: I need to sunbathe here!
Me: ok, ok, come on up.
DoY: No, I want you to move to the left. I want to sit on you and get the sun through the window.
Me: (scooching to the left 3/4") ok, is this where you want to sit?
DoY: No. Move to the right.
Me: (scooching to the right 1/4") ok, come here, I'll pet you.
DoY: Your paws smell funny. You've been drinking toxic sludge again haven't you?
Me: If you mean Cafe Bustelo, then yes.
DoY: Civilized animals drink tea.
Me: You don't drink tea.
(sardonic glare standoff)
DoY: move to the left again, you're still not in the right place.
Me: As long as I'm moving around, you're not getting petted in the sun, yanno.
DoY: A beam on the head is worth two on the tush.
Me: I'm being out punned by a cat.
DoY: Better than being outbunned by a hot dog.
Me: You're in league with Colin Smith, aren't you?
Outbunned by a hot dog! Too funny. DoY is really on her game this morning :)
ReplyDeleteHa!! So love these little snippets of life with DoY.
ReplyDeleteI suspect this has been said before, but you should pitch your own book about these convos with your cat. They are delightful and something I would pay to read.
ReplyDeleteHaha! DoY has suspicions about Colin!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I love the little swirl of dark fur by her ear.
ReplyDeleteHa! The DoY has a great sense of humor. I'll be interested in what Colin has to say!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with her comments on tea. Tea is my official fuel.
Wow, the DoY gives a GREAT side-eye. That's giving me the chills!
ReplyDeleteHope everyone has a good, writerly week.
Do Colin and the Duchess have a secret means of communication? I'm intrigued! Please keep the puns coming :-)
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteLooks like Colin has some serious competition =)
Ha! Now Colin and the Duchess have their own league! The only question remains: are they for the Forti? Or against?
ReplyDeleteDun dun DURRRRRR
A shout out from the DoY?!! Colin, your Thanksgiving is going to be anti-climactic after this.
ReplyDelete(I was trying to turn climactic into a "cat" pun, but I'll leave that up to your league experts.)
mmmm, Cafe Bustelo...
ReplyDeleteAlso, my big-little dog* has a very particular schedule set in her head, and way of doing things. Of note (with regards to where one should sit), she curls up in a particular place on the couch and then stares accusingly at the nearest human, who should of course ensconce themselves adjacent while she chews her toy and/or naps. And probably, also, they should put the blanket on her.
*like, Ulrike weighs 75 pounds, which is as much as Elka weighed. But she is shorter and squarer and her head very different, and so she seems like such a tiny baby still, when by all rights she is indeed a large dog.
What do you expect when you are the human slave to a Duchess?
ReplyDeleteI sympathize with Her Royal Highness. Good staff is hard to find.
ReplyDeleteHa! Excellent. "A beam on the head is worth two on the tush." *Makes a note*
ReplyDeleteThe truth comes out. DoY writes all my material. :)