DoY: Waitress! (eternal silence echoes for 1/4 second) WAITRESSSSSS!
Me: (off stage) Do you mean me?
DoY: Yes, you. Come help me.
Me: (off stage) You could try calling my name.
DoY: WAITRESSTHUMBS!!! Come help me.
Me: (entering living room, finding DoY on top of bookcase) How the hell did you get up there?
DoY: the ladder of course (eyeroll)
Me: (befuddled) what ladder?
DoY: (uses flick of tail to point disdainfully at curtains, now indeed "laddered", on window)
Me: Those are curtains! 100% silk, hand hemmed, custom made curtains!
DoY: never mind that get me DOWN!
Me: Your Grace, I can't actually reach the top of the bookcase.
DoY: It is rather dusty up here. I thought that whole sloth thing was a metaphor.
Me: If you jump down, I'll catch you.
DoY: I don't believe you.
*sound of front door buzzer*
Me: ok, wait a minute, the delivery guy is here.
DoY: what are we getting?
Me: sushi.
DoY: (springs from bookcase, sticks the four point landing on the couch, sashays to door) Dibs on the tuna roll!
ReplyDeleteJust a purr-fect way to start my afternoon.
My wife has adopted a stray, I've named him Barney, as it's not only his name but his job description. (Keep Barn free of vermin.)
Who could name a surgical procedure, where the cat was perfectly fine before, and lacking after, being "fixed"?
I reworded my comment as it sounded a bit....
cheers.
Great. The entire office is staring at me now because I am laughing like a mad woman staring at my phone.
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday to the Reef. And happy vacation day 2, dear Queen and Duchess.
Speaking of dust.
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved I used a stepladder to remove all the items from the small cabinet above the fridge. While I was up there I noticed that on the top of the fridge (narrow space between fridge and cabinet) my daughter had scribbled a note with her finger in the dust. What she wrote was barely legible because of the dust covering the actual message.
“Hi mom, love ya.” It was dated five years before.
There's a life lesson here:
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what you can do with the right incentive. :)
2/7? You're taking a whole week off, O Mighty QOTKU?? Won't this destabilize the universe??? :)
Love me some DoY stories! Happy weekend all! Heading to the beach for some inspiration. In reality, heading to the beach for other reasons, but I KNOW I'll be inspired!
ReplyDeleteCats do find themselves in interesting places. Spot belonged to my former roommate. We couldn't find him one morning, so we went looking through the house for him. He'd jumped onto one basement bookcase, then fell between two bookcases and was blocked in by a large box in front. He just waited quietly for us to find him.
ReplyDeleteMy ex had the cover off a vent. He didn't notice elderly Miss Kitty get in there... until we heard howling. We found her in the furnace, holding on with her front feet, her little butt just above the pilot light. (She wasn't hurt, and she lived a few more years yet.)
Chuckling here. I'd forgotten your name was Thumbs!
ReplyDeleteI miss kitty/cat antics. I need to get a pet (or pets) again. I miss them.
Molly was a tiny kitten that my girls wanted to adopt, many years ago. Molly is now gone :( But she was a great cat with two exceptions. Husband cannot stand cats on the counters so his idea of teaching her to stay off was to shoot her with the super soaker when she got on the kitchen counters. What it actually taught her was to get down when he was home but the rest of the time, they were fair game which leads me to...
ReplyDeleteWe are a rescue family. When we were looking for another dobe to rescue, we brought home a wonderful boy named Sarge. Sarge took one look at Molly in my lap and barked so loud in her face that she spent the next four years living on top of the kitchen cupboards. Unfortunately, as great as Sarge was, he bonded too strongly to me and was not happy when my husband came too close so we had to take him back. He found a home with a single lady and was her constant protector.
Molly never got over it.
Our cats are Florida tough. They weren't fond of the 95 mph winds but after that life went back to normal for them.
ReplyDeleteWe had a great reality TV equivalent in our yard yesterday. A power crew from North Carolina used our yard and driveway to fix the Orlando power lines that run along our fence. It took them all day and in chatting with the crew and feeding them Krispy Kreme donuts I learned a lot about power restoration. Alas, we are in a different city on the other side of our fence so we are still out.
Yesterday was hard. Hated bringing Hubby home from the nice cool hospital to a hot dark house but thanks to a hellacious thunderstorm it cooled off enough for us to sleep. Today he's better. We made coffee and gave up on the ice chests except one for water and cherry coke.
I have officially moved into the "we don't need no stinkin' power" phase. Today I will clean everything I can without power (up to now it's been clearing yard debris). Tonight I will resume my Hurricane Book and see how far I get before the lights come back on.
Happy Friday everyone!
You'd win your own contest. I'm scared to do a word count. That cat knows how to live--maybe nine lives gives one more practice.
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday everyone!
ReplyDeleteMy kitty DuChamp slipped into my clothes closet one morning. I went off to work, and did errands after, not knowing what had happened. When I discovered him, he seemed fine. Happy, even. Maybe he thought it was a treat. A whole day in the "forbidden" place.
Those cats are stealthy.
Enjoy your vacation, Janet!
I always love DoY stories.
ReplyDeleteA few years back, my own kitty escaped and went missing. We were visiting all the shelters and hanging signs and I thought he was gone for good. Then on the third day, I walked out onto our back deck and called his name for the millionth time. He answered back! under my feet!
I shined a light and saw two eyes gleaming back. There was a slab of concrete buried in the ground, under our low deck. We'd had a thunderstorm the day he went missing, and apparently he'd wedged himself under the concrete and gotten his skull stuck between concrete and packed dirt. I had to army-crawl under that gross space and dig him out with a trowel. I still had to pull him out rather forcefully, and of course he was biting the whole way.
Cats!
2Ns, I love that.
Cynthia, glad you and your hubby and creatures are safe!
LOL, I laughed out loud at the mention of "Waitressthumbs!". I am sure cats think thumbs are wasted on humans LOL
ReplyDeleteOh but the curtains! I cringed reading that. One of my frequent laments that have been passed from generation to generation has been "why can't we have nice things??!" Animals, children, and mother nature are usually the culprit in bringing on this lament. But Custom made- ouch. I guess it could be thought of this way- "now they are even more "special" with Duchess's creative climbing trademark!"- uh, no.
You might need another vacation to be able to relax lol.