While I take a run at my email backlog, tell me what's going on in this picture:
Post in the comment section of this blog post.
Of course there's a prize!
These days it's most likely the finalists are the ones that made me laugh.
Contest closed (yes, I know this is driving you crazy--that's a bonus!)
Get him, girls, he's a Pats fan!
ReplyDeleteListen Matt, we've gotta win this thing today!
ReplyDeleteCoach, you're strangling me.
It's called a horse collar, Matt. Watch out for those. But seriously, I’m trying to whisper the plays in your ear. There’s someone behind us. I think he’s listening.
Who, him? Looks harmless. Said his name was Bill.
Posted among the most notorious of criminals, three diabolical kittens wanted for questioning in the disappearance of a promising literary career.
ReplyDeleteDo not approach. These kittens are armed with irresistible cuteness that will distract any promising author into oblivion (or Carkoon). Either way, these kittens are dangerous and must be stopped before they start trending on Twitter.
It's my turn with the new Otter book!
ReplyDeleteGinger kitty #1: Come here you fool, you're so f-bombing cute I could eat you.
ReplyDeleteSnack kitty #2: Aww-wa, I love you too, man. Owww! get your tooth out of my eye!
Zombie kitty #3: Hey! Don't fill up on snacks. It's six hours before kick off. Pace yourself.
Next time, if you're not happy with that Capuchin monkey's work, make her remove the false eyelashes first THEN push her into the garbage bin. Okay?
ReplyDeleteCome on, come on, I triple dog dare you!
ReplyDeleteAdmit it.
ReplyDeleteNo.
Admit it.
No!
ADMIT IT!
OK. I kissed a dog once.
EEEEEWWWWW!
Dammit, Milo, that's NOT how you give a wet willy!
ReplyDelete"Speak to me. SPEAK TO ME!!! What's-a matter with you? Cat got your tongue??!"
ReplyDeleteThe black cat shakes his head.
"Leave him Jeenjah. We have ways of making him talk. Three hours of Lassie re-runs should do it, yes? Now, you will tell us. Who let the dogs out?"
Five and a quarter inches. I’m thinking sapphires. Diamonds are so passé.
ReplyDeleteSee? That's what happens when you don't listen. Look at her. Different hair color, and no telling what all else she's done. I guarantee there's a tattoo involved. Don't you even think twice about it. Are you listening to me?
ReplyDeleteMrrxxwwoidaef.
What? Don't back sass me.
No no, hooman! Watch. Dis is how you give da skritches.
ReplyDelete"Let me lick the mud out of your eye." Lick. "Can you beleive it?"
ReplyDelete"What?"
Lick. "They decided to call the stupid grey one..." Lick.
"I know, Whiskey."
"We gotta get out of this joint."
"Stop licking me, Mojito, it's getting on my nerves."
No, I say, I cannot let you go to that place! It's a dangerous place for newbie mewies and it is run by a demanding evil queen named DOY. Only a few kittas have been released!
ReplyDelete"What's it called?"
"Catkoon!"
Mmm... brains.
ReplyDelete"Don't turn you back on him."
ReplyDelete"He's black, yuck"
"Shhh, he'll hear you. Now listen, black kitties matter."
One day that rejection will grow into an acceptance. Just keep at it.
ReplyDelete“Now hold still. This won’t hurt a bit. I just need to work out this strangulation scene in my manuscript. You know, for research.”
ReplyDeleteLook, I've told you again and again. Funny is good, but not enough. It has to be a story.
ReplyDelete"I said to pitch the Kitty Bowl, not the Puppy Bowl."
ReplyDelete"But if I pitched the Kitty Bowl we would go hungry."
This house ain't big enough for two gingers and I'm giving you 24 hours to get out. If I see you by this time tomorrow, it's you or me!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePersonalized nit picking and flea eradication while you wait. Act now and receive a complimentary free hug.
"I told you orange is the new black but you never listen."
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, I voted for Trump. Sniffles back there won't even speak to me now. But, that's not how it's going to be with us. No sir. See, you and me, we're always gonna be tight...like Linda and Mary. Understand?
ReplyDelete"He's--he's choking me! Are you seeing this?"
ReplyDelete"Meh."
*gasps* "Seriously? You can't be that dark."
"Okay, fine, I'll help you, long as there's something in it for me."
"Ain't no one helping anyone. This nutso ate my kittles earlier."
"I've--" *gasps* "I've already apologized!"
"Ugh, the screaming. Stop. Tell you what, choker. You let kittles go and you can get my section of the cat tree."
"Meh, all right."
"Hey Jenny, Jenny, it's okay, it's going to be fine."
ReplyDelete"But Jo, I just, I just-"
"It's going to be fine, Jenny."
"How do you know?"
"They've been shopping. I saw the bag. The food is in there. I promise. We'll be fed soon."
"They were gone so long, Jenny."
"It only seems that way, Jo."
"I'm going to attack their ankles. That should hurry them up."
Hold still...hold still. Ha, got it! It's a...cat hair?! How did you get that in your eye?
ReplyDelete"No, no, no. Listen, kid, you can't talk about the litter box. It's boring. Tell her you peed in the Lady's laundry, or chewed the big TV strings or somethin' like that. Girls dig that stuff."
ReplyDelete"Then he grabs him like this, see?"
ReplyDelete"I get it."
"C'mon, is this holding or what?"
"One more time. I'm only here for the commercials."
"It's ok Bruddah,
ReplyDeleteThe next scene is
Save The Cat."
I don't have a caption -- my daughter is in town for a quick visit and I'm distracted -- but between this pic and the video of Jason Momoa throwing axes on Jimmy Kimmel, the internet is really testing my willpower.
ReplyDeleteTwo's company three's a cattastrophy.
ReplyDeleteWhere. Are. My. MITTENS?!?
ReplyDeleteI don't know where to find them!
Little Gus dangled his paw. Nope, nobody noticed--they were engrossed in adoring his three brothers. Purrfect. He wouldn’t have any problem inconspicuously leaping down and making off with the kitty treats.
ReplyDelete"Ssssh! Just close your eyes, and it'll all be over soon!"
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
Gingers. Typical.
ReplyDelete"Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."
ReplyDelete