Sunday, December 05, 2010

wow, I thought I got crazypants letters!






































 via Ron Hogan
at

31 comments:

  1. Melanie12/5/10, 4:19 PM

    Hahaaha...is that for real? It seems too ridiculous to be authentic. Ed McMahon to post a party at McDonalds. Bwahahahaha...too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown12/5/10, 4:22 PM

    I wish I would have thought to do that. I never take enough opportunities to troll people and businesses.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dan12/5/10, 4:34 PM

    Oh, that's beautiful. It's just...wow. I don't know who I feel sorrier for, Mr. Aronson, the telemarketers, or the "quadriplegic hooker from Singapore."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anne R. Allen12/5/10, 4:37 PM

    Are you sure this isn't somebody's twisted idea of a query letter? I'm pretty sure that same quadriplegic hooker showed up in the Query Shark's blog recently.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12/5/10, 5:08 PM

    Ah, thanks for that. Really made me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alex Adams12/5/10, 5:51 PM

    I laughed until I cried.

    *Goes to find rocks and gold paint*

    ReplyDelete
  7. CKHB12/5/10, 5:55 PM

    Given what I know about the Cash4Gold scam? They more than had this coming. AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Toni McGee Causey12/5/10, 6:04 PM

    Whoa. That was like a masters' level of crazy. Even my relatives would be impressed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sandra Cormier12/5/10, 7:34 PM

    Seriously, where do you find this stuff???

    ReplyDelete
  10. Marie R12/5/10, 9:42 PM

    Awesome. Maybe this is from one of those "Letters from a Nut" books?

    http://browseinside.harpercollins.ca/index.aspx?isbn13=9780380973545

    ReplyDelete
  11. Furious D12/5/10, 10:10 PM

    Sounds like next "feel good story of the summer." You better sign that guy quick. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. dylan12/5/10, 11:02 PM

    Dear Ms Reid

    Brings to mind this old crazypants classic:

    http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/1ab6b0046d/stranger-than-fiction

    dylan

    ReplyDelete
  13. Leslie12/5/10, 11:03 PM

    That frame looks like genuine plastic.

    Clearly, Cash4Gold knows a keeper when they see one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Debra Lynn Shelton12/5/10, 11:41 PM

    Mr. Haberny has some serious rocks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Daniel Friedman12/6/10, 12:59 AM

    Unlike literary agents, though, the Cash4Gold people deserve to deal with this kind of insanity, for two reasons:

    1) They are a reprehensible company that preys upon the desperate and the ill-informed.

    2) That misused apostrophe in "telemarketer's" and their dubious usage of the word "feral."

    ReplyDelete
  16. Kate12/6/10, 2:50 AM

    This is very funny, but obviously a joke. The expositional structure alone...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Tara Maya12/6/10, 3:56 AM

    Oh my. Joke or serious.... it's still a joke. Very, very funny. And I already found the Cash4Gold ads to be pretty funny by themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Shakier Anthem12/6/10, 7:59 AM

    "Feral and preposterous." AHAHAH! I like it, actually... it's sort of poetic.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Gisele12/6/10, 10:20 AM

    Janet, if this is a query letter, you should sign him up at once!

    This letter is gold! No pun intended.

    ReplyDelete
  20. CNU12/6/10, 1:02 PM

    Either the guy is insane or... it's actually an incredibly dry "Andy Kaufman" type of humor that apparently "Cash 4 Gold" didn't catch on to. (Personally I think it's the latter. In which case that's hysterical... The former being just sad.)

    -C

    ReplyDelete
  21. lotusgirl12/6/10, 1:53 PM

    Wow. Just wow.

    ReplyDelete
  22. JD Horn12/6/10, 2:07 PM

    My theory is that this Harbeny guy is one of Randy Quaid's star whackers.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Kimbra Kasch12/6/10, 3:34 PM

    There's more than one story in that letter. Maybe a thriller...

    ReplyDelete
  24. jjdebenedictis12/6/10, 4:01 PM

    To quote one of the Harry Potter characters, "TROOOOOLL! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!"

    And a deliciously evil troll he is, too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Cathi12/6/10, 7:31 PM

    Oh man, that is priceless! What do those people expect?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Unknown12/6/10, 7:45 PM

    Apparently, Jeff Aronson has no sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ryan field12/6/10, 7:56 PM

    As the elite literary would say, "Looks like something *one* would see on facebook." And with a quasi British accent.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Walt Mussell12/6/10, 8:20 PM

    This sounds like an April Fool's joke. I'm just not sure on whom.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Kregger12/6/10, 9:48 PM

    I googled this guy, it seems this is his schtick. He sends outrageous letters to whomever he deems worthy to be punked. There are two letters on his web page, one from the West Wing and the other from MoMA in NYC.

    He's a waste of creative energy.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Cole Howard12/7/10, 1:30 AM

    If only this letter had arrived in the mailbox of "Cash 4 Crazy." The guy could have been crazy rich.

    If this isn't real then it's hilarious.

    If it is real, the guy should start his own religion, and commence baptizin' all of us in the spritz that is his insanity. Hallelujah!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Virginia Llorca12/16/10, 3:59 PM

    Hope this wasn't copyrighted as I have already sent it all over. Close friends in gold-buying industry will wet themselves.

    ReplyDelete

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