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Good news: he IS published. On Craig's List.
ReplyDeleteThis is freaking hysterical.
Um, yeah, good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteHave you offered yet to represent him? You'd better hurry.
ReplyDeleteCrap. I was just about to query you about my "failed humanity."
ReplyDeleteDamn it! I meant to title that No Apologies!
ReplyDeleteFirst Poem:
Pre-K= I Ate Your Crayons On Purpose, Billy Thompson.
This made my day.
ReplyDeleteOMG. He is truly clueless and needs to be put out of his misery.
ReplyDeleteNot to sound cliché, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. It must be disheartening to educate the writing masses the way you do and have someone like this not even take the time to read a single post.
ReplyDeletePlease don't give up. Some of us are still listening and learning every day.
Now, I get it.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how much you try to empty a sink full of dirty dishes, there's always one more spoon.
ReplyDeleteWell, we can't help them all!
This made me chuckle. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAwww, man! I just laughed so hard coffee came out my nose!
ReplyDeleteWait, that doesn't work? Crap, back to the drawing board...
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I see it all the time. I'm sure agents and publishers see the worst of it, but we meet plenty of authors who think that agents should be lining up to interview them. I even had one who, upon finding out I had an agent, asked me if he could contact her to "interview her" and get her reasons why he should have her represent him. Not only was it clueless, it was an insult to me as an author, after working a decade and a half to get here.
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
ReplyDeleteHuh...all join in now...come on you know the tune, "...saw an L in the middle of her forehead."
ReplyDeleteThe good news is a literary agent DID see the add. The bad news is a literary agent saw the add. Eek!
ReplyDeleteThis somehow makes even the bad query letters seem brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYour right this person has no idea what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteI put my Ad in "The Car Shopper". Everyone know agents look for clients when they shop for used cars... :-)
@ Marsha:
ReplyDeleteI Ate Your Crayons On Purpose, Billy Thompson
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This has to be one of the best titles ever.
It's so naive I almost find it endearing. I hope that writer will realize the importance of research and querying (and also the market for poetry and short stories)!
ReplyDeleteTaunting ignorance is, itself, a demonstration of ignorance.
ReplyDeleteThis was beneath you.
I've actually seen things like this before on CL. I once sent a reply to one of these ads and offered some basic advice and I was sorry I did. I've learned how to mind my own business and not offer advice unless someone asks for it.
ReplyDeleteIt's disheartening to see this. It's hard to believe that anyone with enough initiative to post something like this would not have done the research necessary to discover that such an action is unlikely to get good results.
ReplyDeleteIt takes all kinds to make a world, but no-one can tell me why.
Mike, don't be a spoon.
ReplyDeleteI know it's lame, but I feel sorry for this character. I've the romantic notion that this person is a literary genius doomed to obscurity until his scribblings are discovered posthumously. By someone with a clue.
ReplyDeleteI once replied to a similar ad on my local craigslist. It seemed like the poster was clueless about how the business worked, so I thought I'd help him out by offering a few helpful pointers.
ReplyDeleteI was promptly added to the guy's spam email list.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Tawna
I dunno. Perhaps the poster is crazy like a fox. The odds of finding an agent interested in representing poetry and/or short stories seems to be pretty astronomical. And although this is garnering him or her negative attention, it is still getting attention. So maybe the author is a clueless doof, in which case I pray the author doesn't fall into the clutches of someone who makes money through the exploitation of naivete. Or maybe the author already realizes what a long shot it is and is using every means available. I say mazel tov.
ReplyDeleteI really wonder how, if he can master craiglist, he can't figure out the rest? The information is all floating around the web.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's trying to be different. It's a style statement. At least this way, nobody needs to waste any time with form rejections. No inbox clutter...he could start a revolution!
I think I'll put a Craiglist ad asking someone to make me young, thin, and rich.
ReplyDeleteEveryone makes mistakes. It's the learning from them that count. Every one starts somewhere near the beginning of the learning curve. Writing for publication isn't like that Undercover Boss show, where the boss is expected to pick up in a few hours everything the regular worker learned in years. Real life isn't like that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I prefer to see the positive in any action, because to continuously see the negative is just plain exhausting after awhile. Who knows, maybe through that ad, the person will find some dedicated readers who will help inspire and push him along his writing path.
Jodi
Just this week I encountered a pitch like this--though not the same book--on LinkedIn. And I told the guy this was probably not the way to get an agent. He retorted that his query is circulating in various places, and as a long-time marketer, he's reaching out on the internet to find possible interested parties.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, it's worth pointing out to let people know that it's not the ideal method.
Speaking of clueless, I thought this was hilarious:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw