Here's the winner:
Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."
Garrison Spik
Washington, D.C.
Washington, D.C.
My other favorite:
Winner: Vile Puns
Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality," Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.
Becky Mushko
Penhook, VA
Penhook, VA
splenda in the gas
ReplyDelete*whistling*
Ouch.
ReplyDeleteI am not normally a fan of puns, but that is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI tried not to laugh at that pun.
ReplyDeleteReally, I did.
I had moved on to the next RSS feed when it finally overwhelmed my giggle reflex.
Shame compells me to return and admit defeat.
Link broken or just me?
ReplyDeleteI must check this out. I've got heaving and spelunking and loins on fire (oh my!). This sounds like a writing contest over which I could sound my barbaric yawp.
Or at least enjoy the artful absurdity of those who do it better.
The winner used the word "moist." That's just awesome.
Have you ever seen these?
ReplyDeletehttp://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695222186,00.html
They're fantastic.
I tried entering this sentence a few years ago, but never heard back from them:
ReplyDeleteMcFinley hunkered over the chalk-outlined body and struggled to spot some vital clue to the killer's identity, but understanding danced just out of his mind's reach, circling and circling, the way the string of a helium balloon caught in a ceiling fan might evade a midget.
Sorry Mags, not just you, t'was me.
ReplyDeleteFixed now, thanks.
Weeee!
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh, Patrick.
ReplyDeleteGreat choices (both the B-L and the JR ones).
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to see Piscataway's finally getting some recognition. That and the "N.J." caught my peripheral-reading vision even before I'd fought my way through the sentence's first metaphor. I kept jumping to the end of the sentence to read them again even while nominally reading what came before.
[brushes away single tear of Garden State homesickness]
Deadlyaccurate,
ReplyDeleteThanks! Hopefully none of the Bulwer-Lyton judges were offended...
P.S. (Sorry for the multiple comments) That Grand Panjandrum Award winner in the Vile Puns category was pretty brilliant, I thought.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad y'all enjoyed my Vile Pun winner.
ReplyDeleteNow a question: When I query agents about my newly completed middle-grade paranormal novel, should I mention that I'm an internationally ranked bad writer? (I've also won the B-L "Worst Western" in 1996 and received a 2000 miscellaneous dishonorable mention, so dreadful writing is sort of my literary claim to fame.) Or would that revelation kill any potential offers for representation?
Very funny.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can vouch for Becky that not all her writing is that bad.
Jes, the manhole covers made me long for Jersey too.
www.GreenerPastures--ACityGirlGoesCountry.blogspot.com
I know Becky Mushko, so her fun pun Splenda in the gas didn't surprise me one bit. Actually, Becky is an excellent writer. My granddaughter and I sat on the dock a couple years ago and read Becky's "Where There's A Will." We plan to read Becky's next book on the dock, too.
ReplyDeleteSally Roseveare