Today's winner (and I know it's early yet, but the local watering hole is calling to me fondly) is from the post There's Formal..and then there is just annoying.
Here's the comment:
Dear Snookie-ookums:
I am personally in dire need of the professional services of a competent octopus with close ties to the Herpet-American community.
It personally behooves me (though I'm not personally looking for anyone with hooves) to seek out only those octopi who double as sharks on occasion and I personally prefer those who do not inhabit pilfered coconuts.
My personal non-fiction novelized serial book: How to Succeed in the Office Aquarium will appeal to all creatures who live under water.
Thank you personally.
My personal-self.
I love it!
ReplyDeleteBut does this mean Your Sharkness sometimes moonlights as an octopus? Is this a trick to confuse your more relentless author fans?
*weeps at the irony*
ReplyDeleteMy comments, you like, my queries... not so much.
:-P
Josin - I still remember your 1st paragraph from Nathan's contest. Funny, you are!
ReplyDeleteThat is funny.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHA! Nice ;). Who said professionalism was dead?
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a pm I once got on facebook.
Can't top it. Won't try.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: What if, hypothetically speaking, you're NOT a mammal and DON'T breathe air. Also (again, hypothetically speaking) what if English is NOT your native tongue? In those (strictly hypothetical) cases, would it, in fact, be okay to address you as "Dear Snookums?"
ReplyDeleteAlso, what would your response be to said hypothetical query?
Possible (hypothetical) answers:
a) Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, send your full ms post haste!
b) Eff off.
c) Effing eff off.
d) Hypothetically speaking, eff the eff off.
Win.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... sounds like a fish out of water to me. But then I'm just bitter.
ReplyDeleteLOL. This was great. I love it when creativity goes down a twisted path.
ReplyDelete...doing a quick run around the internet, and came across this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wisdombook.org/
I hope you take a peek. It looks like something you'd enjoy.
:-)
Speaking of octopii, have you seen the video of the veined octopus using tools? YouTube video
ReplyDeleteJosin, that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh! Oh, I'm still laughing! And tears are leaking out!
ReplyDeleteI'm revealing myself to be a bottom-dweller in matters of manners by quoting Dictionary.com to the clever commenter:
ReplyDelete"Proper plural is octopodes, though octopuses probably works better in English. Octopi is from mistaken assumption that -us is the L. noun ending that takes -i in plural."
[Slinks away to hide under my coconut shell.]
Janet - I know from past readings of this site that the word "cephalopod" warms your heart.
ReplyDeleteI just read a great story called "Captivity", by Abby Geni, in the recent issue of Glimmertrain, which uses it in context no less than four times. A great, moving story. With cephalopods.
Check it out: http://www.glimmertrain.com/fosept08.html