So there I am working on what was to have been a quick read for copy editing on a crime novel manuscript by one of my beloved clients. About midway through, I get an idea for a somewhat larger developmental change. I send her the ms with a note about making those "bigger changes" too.
Here's what I got back:
I left Track Changes on so you can see the larger changes I made. I changed (heroine) to a large, Nordic man named Sven, gave him the power to levitate and teleport, and made him (sidekick's) gay lover. It didn't really change much about the overall plot.
If you don't have any problems with the changes (especially the part where Sven and (bad guy) dance the tango to a slow-motion rendition of Who Let The Dogs Out (I think I'll need to get permission to use the lyrics), let me know and I'll send you a cleaned-up version .
It's absolutely true; my clients are hilarious even when they want to kill me.
Your client might be on to the next big thing!
ReplyDeleteIf your client needs help getting permission for the lyrics, I'm an old hand at it. Just send up a flag.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
ReplyDeleteI suspect I would have written that and been serious.
Don't leave us in suspense. What did you tell her? I know: Send pages!
ReplyDeleteSouthern Writer: please get in touch. jwhit@janwhitaker.com
ReplyDeleteI have lyrics and need advice. Thanks!!
So, shall we guess the name of this blockbuster?
ReplyDeleteGlad you both had a sense of humor about this.
Thank gods I wasn't drinking when I read this. I would have had to file with my insurance for a new laptop.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know when this sells and when it will be published, so I can say I've read it before the bookstores run out of copies. Truly a bestseller in the making.
ReplyDeleteNow that's a book I have to read!
ReplyDeleteI know there was no harm meant here, but some people might take offense to this post.
ReplyDeletereally Ryan?
ReplyDeleteLike who?
people named sven. or those who find "the ba-ha men" truly romantic
ReplyDeleteGay people who get tired of being the brunt of jokes and stereo types loaded with innuendo, no matter how innocent the intention, that's who.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I'm sure there was no harm intended (really Janet), and you have to take the context into consideration as a light exchange between agent and writer (which I did), but the underlying message here, in print, is all about a negative, laughable image of gay men.
I thought it was hysterical. So glad I didn't have coffee in my mouth, but please, a spew alert next time? :)
ReplyDeleteSo, Ryan, you are assuming the writer and the reader are both not queer?
ReplyDeleteOr are you saying perhaps that you can tell if someone is queer by how they write?
Or maybe you only saw your own sensitive spot, and didn't realize that in putting "gay lover" as a descriptor, it signals that the general assumption is that sidekicks are male.
You can find offense anywhere you look if you want to find it.
Frankly I try to be offensive on this blog so I guess my work here is done for the day. Tomorrow is another day!**
**oh wait..have I offended Southern belles?
Hey now! I'm a southern belle AND a queer femme. You take that back.
ReplyDeleteWait. I wasn't offended.
Now I'm offended that you thought I might be offended.
Dang it. I'm so confused.
(sorry, I posted in error under my writing name and that is a team so this comment would have only been appropriate for one half of us--me!)
You know Janet, one of the things I like about this blog is that you are loud, opinionated and you have an edge.
ReplyDeleteBut, I have never thought you tried to be intentionally offensive in any post you've ever written because that's not you. And I know you weren't in this post either. Sorry if I hit a sensitive spot because it wasn't my intention.
I am a large, gay Nordic man named Sven.
ReplyDeleteI don't really have a point about that, but it seemed worth mentioning.
*snort*
ReplyDeleteWell, now I know how to throw my editor for a fun loop. :)
I keep a tiny rubber chicken by my computer as a reminder to not take myself too seriously, maybe I'll add random tango scenes to the list.
Now wait a second. How did Southern Belles get into this scrap?
ReplyDeleteNow wait a second. How did Southern Belles get into this scrap?~
ReplyDeleteAll the best scraps have Southern Belles.
I'm quite convinced the war of northern aggression wouldn't have been near as interesting without Southern Belles.
Wow...where can I buy a copy of this? This stuff's better than those trashy romances I read (you know, the ones with all the details).
ReplyDeleteI'm an old, gay friendly Episcopalian, so sign me up!
(but not during Matlock, or when a Kevin Costner movie comes on. When I see his tush, nothing can take my eyes of that TV screen.)
Sounds like a bestseller to me!
ReplyDelete