tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post2390688122826619851..comments2024-03-18T09:09:59.625-04:00Comments on Janet Reid, Literary Agent: That was fun, wasn't it! Let's do it again: EVEN writing contestJanet Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00615380335938685231noreply@blogger.comBlogger113125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-21749472788320340462010-06-24T23:56:45.802-04:002010-06-24T23:56:45.802-04:00Tonight was different. Normally at this late hour ...Tonight was different. Normally at this late hour they would be winding up another epic poker game, the guys leaving the lair joking and laughing, ready to tramp off to the bar. After the last shuffle and deal Jim spoke up about Cathy, something he'd never even mentioned until tonight. <br /><br />"Till death do us part" doesn't really end it, does it?" he said. "They don't put that in the vows."Joe Mixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06323304527570993123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-47207370031815992832010-06-24T23:53:25.967-04:002010-06-24T23:53:25.967-04:00The pipe of a Harley woke me. I scrambled to hide ...The pipe of a Harley woke me. I scrambled to hide in the abandoned barn—my summer vacation lair that I shared with a stray.<br /><br />The tramp of biker boots turned into a shuffle.<br /><br />“Hey, Crossbones,” said a man.<br /><br />"Till death us do part" adorned both his forearms. One hand held a gun. The man’s tongue circled the barrel before his mouth took the length of it. Back and forth.<br /><br />I couldn’t look away. Even the dog was mesmerized.<br /><br />Then the man stopped.<br /><br />Fear of epic proportions throbbed through me. Crossbones had lost interest and scratched at my hiding place.Laurie Lambhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16363512651725751903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-78131220450278147732010-06-24T23:07:31.616-04:002010-06-24T23:07:31.616-04:00He was resigned to live and die alone. She never m...He was resigned to live and die alone. She never much cared one way or the other. Instead she shuffled through men in an epic tramp-like game of Texas hold’em. Just draw them to a darkened lair and drain their vital juices. Then she met him.<br /><br />He was fifty. But only a year later her pancreas blackened like a gnarled root and left her wrapped in a beige hospital blanket too weak for even a word. So he spoke to the chaplain for both of them.<br /><br />“Till death do us part.”<br /><br />Then he held her hand until it turned cold.Master Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14181294329043171539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-52262667839915041662010-06-24T22:32:43.760-04:002010-06-24T22:32:43.760-04:00Even the tramp wasn't about to delay my missio...Even the tramp wasn't about to delay my mission. I flashed a bit of leg to lure the prince toward my lair and retreated into the shadows so he couldn't see my true age.<br /><br />"Princess, why do you make me shuffle into this den while a castle awaits?" He brushed a cobweb from his hair.<br /><br />"What better place to say our vows?" I responded. "When the priest says, 'till death do us part,' he'll speak truth." I raised the knife.<br /><br />Brandon whistled and threw his dice. "This is the most epic session of Dungeons and Dragons ever!"Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-85165944799001987802010-06-24T22:28:04.292-04:002010-06-24T22:28:04.292-04:00"A disservice to mankind." That's w..."A disservice to mankind." That's what she calls me. My life consisting of "one epic fuck-up after another". Unfortunately, she's right.<br /><br />Tramping boot steps echo down the hall, signaling that the end is approaching. Leaves blowing in the wind outside give the impression of shuffling cards in a gambler's lair.<br /><br />The door creaks open, revealing the outline of a figure in the dark. <br /><br />The pillow molds to the contours of her face and her even breathing turns harsh. I mutter the words, "till death do us part, you precious bitch."Frank Gordonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04841736237443708305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-89971825825229120642010-06-24T22:17:44.430-04:002010-06-24T22:17:44.430-04:00He remembered little after his presentation to a c...He remembered little after his presentation to a collection of word-challenged newbies. “Keith Slevin, Editor to the Stars,” he labeled the epic Las Vegas speech. <br /><br />Then the first snifter of cognac at The Lair. But even that was dreamlike.<br /><br />Now his right arm lay under an unrecognizable street tramp. Her bottle-blonde hair shuffled over his shoulder. He raised his left hand and studied the cheap band on his ring finger. Then he inspected the burning sensation in his forearm.<br /><br />The tattoo was dead-on Times New Roman, number twelve font.<br /><br />“Till death do us part,” he whispered.<br /><br />A newbie’s first publication.Master Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14181294329043171539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-88552274104635235342010-06-24T22:14:02.563-04:002010-06-24T22:14:02.563-04:00A swatch of oily hair fell from his forehead and c...A swatch of oily hair fell from his forehead and covered his eyes. He brushed it aside and spoke. “Tonight’s the night.”<br /><br />“For what?”<br /><br />“To get even. The tramp will be gone and it’s all you and me, baby.”<br /><br />She didn’t reply. It wasn’t supposed to go down this way. It’s not what he promised the night he shuffled over and bought her a shooter. But now she was trapped in his lair.<br /><br />“It’ll be epic,” he bragged. “The bitch will be gone. ‘Till death do us part’, my ass.”<br /><br />His hand stroked her neck. <br /><br />She stiffened in the dark.Master Phttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14181294329043171539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-34745479875553624302010-06-24T21:35:04.483-04:002010-06-24T21:35:04.483-04:00Married sixty-seven years they were old, these two...Married sixty-seven years they were old, these two, each living in separate rooms and alone. No one visited, no one even cared.<br /><br />He wasn’t handsome and she wasn’t pretty. When she was young some called her a tramp but he knew she wasn’t, she was just lonely. <br /><br />He leaned close and whispered the epic words, “till death us do part.” She smiled a wrinkled and toothless grin. <br />“Lets go to your room, pretend it’s a lover’s lair and shuffle under the covers,” he said.<br /><br />“For a buck,” she giggled. <br />He placed a dollar in her hand.Carolynnwith2Nshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18394998702410764388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-12635119369974406452010-06-24T20:57:50.110-04:002010-06-24T20:57:50.110-04:00He thought of it as their lair. After all, they we...He thought of it as their lair. After all, they were feral beings now—born to run. But even Springsteen's tramps needed a place to lay their heads every once in a while, and they'd made a cozy enough nest beneath the railway bridge.<br /><br />He waited there now, with nothing but an epic hangover to keep him company, anticipating the moment when she would shuffle towards him through the gloom in those damned, old backless moccasins she refused to take off, even when they made love.<br /><br />"I'll wear 'em 'til death do us part, honey," she'd vowed.Sharen Fordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17727069376424616934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-25318908472086404972010-06-24T20:37:42.092-04:002010-06-24T20:37:42.092-04:00Emma shuffled down the hall to the kitchen. She a...Emma shuffled down the hall to the kitchen. She anticipated a mug full of hot, liquid black sunshine. Hailey always ensured coffee was waiting for Emma in the morning.<br /><br />The pot was empty.<br /><br />"Epic tramp," Emma said. She set about making coffee and cursed Hailey for sleeping in Chad's lair. <br /><br />Impatient, Emma slid the pot out prematurely. The last of the brewing coffee sizzled on the hot plate.<br /><br />Emma sat. She fingered the rim of the mug and contemplated getting even with Hailey. Sabotage came to mind. She never wanted Hailey to tell Chad, "till death do us part."Megan Justicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13464209960907512532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-21071988141415486392010-06-24T20:23:10.051-04:002010-06-24T20:23:10.051-04:00Grant Lair slipped the epic wedding dress off of J...Grant Lair slipped the epic wedding dress off of Janet’s shoulders. Tears welled up in her eyes. Taking them for tears of joy he smiled. They shuffled over to the bed and fell, kissing passionately.<br /><br />It was her job to assassinate him but she had fallen in love. <br /><br />She reached up under the pillow, grasping a knife. Looking into his eyes she said “I’m a liar.”<br /><br />“Then we’re even, you tramp.” Grant shot Janet in the head as she plunged the knife into his heart.<br /><br />As they died, blood mingling together, they both whispered “Till death do us part."Lisa Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03958981941585155068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-57323684747494405592010-06-24T20:20:24.196-04:002010-06-24T20:20:24.196-04:00Roger was six foot even, an ex-tramp with room tem...Roger was six foot even, an ex-tramp with room temperature IQ and epic bad luck. If we played cards, his shuffle gave me straights. Once he back-flipped onto our bed. Faster than you can say "till death us do part", scalp met ceiling fan. Roger screamed like he'd stuck head in a dragon's lair and had it bitten off. "I'm bleedin'! Help!"<br /><br />I frowned. "Roger, you got a cut here and a bump there. What the hell happened?"<br /><br />"Well, the bump is where I got hit the first time. The cut's when I turned to see what hit me."Christwriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17590823821715820817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-54708004589933016752010-06-24T20:12:02.345-04:002010-06-24T20:12:02.345-04:00Margo watched Lars shuffle his feet as the klezmer...Margo watched Lars shuffle his feet as the klezmer band struck up another seemingly endless tune. “Check this out,” he said.<br /><br />She yanked the cigarette out from the corner of her mouth and ground it out with the heel of her Uggs. “Epic fail.” She squinted toward the stage. “Accordion player – in my lair - by 11.<br /> <br />“Tramp,” said Lars. “Frank’s not gone even 3 weeks.”<br /><br />“Epic tramp,” corrected Margo. She dug in her purse and tossed some coins at him. “For dancing lessons. And,” she said thumping toward the stage, “I think I’ll go learn me some accordion.”Nancy Coffelthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01713279271661289911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-63290366509117147212010-06-24T20:06:29.840-04:002010-06-24T20:06:29.840-04:00Her heart was in her throat. Its wild beat, tamed,...Her heart was in her throat. Its wild beat, tamed, fell to even before slowing to a shuffle. <br /><br />Tramp.<br />Whore.<br /><br />She was the type of woman to whom no man would ever pledge “Til death us do part.” All she’d ever wanted was an epic love.<br /> <br />The blonde was easy prey…just like his mother. His surgeon’s hands carved her ticker from her chest and stuffed it deep into her shrieking mouth. Quickly, he arranged her body, like all the others, and stepped back.<br /> <br />“Click.”<br /><br />Smiling, Marty pinned the picture of her last breath on a wall inside his lair.Ronda Laveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03902846545309643023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-41059273751694619362010-06-24T20:00:24.003-04:002010-06-24T20:00:24.003-04:00Lauren Epic tapped the car window. "I want h...Lauren Epic tapped the car window. "I want her. The one in purple."<br /><br />"Damn. That's kinky even for me," her chauffeur said.<br /><br />"Pull over."<br /><br />Ms. Purple jiggled toward them. "I don't do chicks." She pushed back from the car. "Shuffle down three blocks."<br /><br />"Me either, but if I did I sure as hell wouldn't have to pay."<br /><br />"Yeah, I'll bet a fine lady like you gets all you can handle. Why are you down from your hill lair to tramp town?"<br /><br />"Seen him?"<br /><br />Ms. Purple looked at the photograph.<br /><br />Lauren chambered a round. "Till death us do part is coming."Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13087575282693487309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-81325260955398680442010-06-24T19:58:44.723-04:002010-06-24T19:58:44.723-04:00The Black Orchid. The Widow Maker. Tramp.
She...The Black Orchid. The Widow Maker. Tramp. <br /><br />She didn’t care. Barbara Poelle had been called far worse. When she wasn’t luring unsuspecting authors into a lair of whiskey and cleavage, she was outright stealing them. <br /><br />'Reid thinks she’s got this one sewn up,' she thought. 'The little fool. So how many does this make? Ten. A nice, even number.' She set the CD player on shuffle, an Epic Records remix of Ozzy Osbourne hits. Crazy Train came up. <br /><br />And as she applied the blood red lipstick in the rearview mirror, the stuffed octopus under the seat opened its eyes.shtrumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17757335700089113559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-87666246222231706972010-06-24T19:58:44.724-04:002010-06-24T19:58:44.724-04:00((Okay, I wanna play again. It's like a word p...((Okay, I wanna play again. It's like a word puzzle, making it a 100 or less.))<br /><br />Time stops when the page is empty, and sounds are mere echoes in my closed eyes. The game you played was so epic. <br /><br />For you.<br /><br /><i>Till death us do part.</i><br /><br />Face and lair, both long forgotten - and happily so, until that song plays. <br /><br />Yellow bunnies and pink chickens; poisonous plants used for decoration; orange squash savaged and set alight; each a holiday memory long buried. The shuffle of feet at our wedding. Times best held at a distance in my mind lest I stab the next perky chum in the head.<br /><br />Or maybe just that tramp at the office.Christi Goddardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08590491851753709622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-73013487195841745302010-06-24T19:51:40.648-04:002010-06-24T19:51:40.648-04:00Remember that scene from Von Tramp’s epic, Shuffli...Remember that scene from Von Tramp’s epic, <i>Shuffling Towards Mathilda Frogsdottir’s Lair</i>? Mathilda and Muldoon eating in the restaurant in Reykjavik. One twenty-minute monochrome shot. Nobody says anything, nothing happens. Pure cinematic genius.<br /><br />It was like that when I met her in the Backward Bar in Schlubunsk. I played it cool for an hour, knocked back three pints of crème de menthe. Then I flicked through my phrasebook. <i>May I buy you a drink</i>.<br /><br />“Even yub uoy knird,” I said.<br /><br />“Trap od su htead, litt.”<br /><br />“In English.” <br /><br />“No problem,” she said. “Stick your head in a bear trap, loser.”Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08214880215621020928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-64204939017036277452010-06-24T19:45:09.117-04:002010-06-24T19:45:09.117-04:00A little brain game...what fun!
That tramp. Not e...A little brain game...what fun!<br /><br />That tramp. Not even “till death us do part” stopped her. She entered his lair with the light shuffle of the dead. It was an epic disaster… this murder he’d committed.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03662058845481140283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-15083966274555422052010-06-24T19:39:10.503-04:002010-06-24T19:39:10.503-04:00Even I regretted being such a tramp, given lair po...Even I regretted being such a tramp, given lair politics.<br /><br />Mating with humans was forbidden.<br /><br />Our Queen held my fresh babe, taunting me. “Till death do us part,” she said, unduly pleased at misappropriating the human invocation. I said nothing, as she bit into my child.<br /><br />After our epic quest for acceptable drone seed, I welcomed near extinction.<br /><br />The poison I’d shot in my child was fast-acting. The Queen fell with a thud, my dead daughter only half consumed.<br /><br />The others stood stunned. <br /><br />I smiled-- about time for a shuffle. I’d end no lower in the deck than I’d started. <br /><br />-K. RichardsonKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996587091003594735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-51163150073735384302010-06-24T18:36:00.367-04:002010-06-24T18:36:00.367-04:00Juliet awoke quite suddenly. She took the ratty b...Juliet awoke quite suddenly. She took the ratty blanket and shuffled across the cold prison cell. A quick glance in the mirror was unsettling. "I look like one of his tramps," she growled.<br /><br />"He" walked in on cue. "My dear, welcome to my lair. What do you think?"<br /><br />"I think you're in the midst of an epic failure, even if you've managed to imprison me."<br /><br />"Be kind, Juliet. Your husband wouldn't approve." "He" left, shutting the door silently.<br /><br />Juliet scrambled for her wedding ring, hidden in the mattress. "Till death do us part. Why couldn't the death have been mine?"Génette Woodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12805509818115271601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-39911918809268367452010-06-24T18:14:36.380-04:002010-06-24T18:14:36.380-04:00So he thinks I’m a tramp.
I endured eight years of...So he thinks I’m a tramp.<br />I endured eight years of college and medical school even before he would say, “Till death do us part.”<br />And here I shuffle to his forest lair of loamy delight after four more years of mind-numbing medical residency.<br />All so I can gently grab the shaft and squeeze ever so gently.<br />Thrilling to stretched tissue and glistening moisture.<br />Cold steel flashes to perform an epi-phallus impudicus craniotomy.<br />It was an EPIC of skill and mastery.<br />To home with my epicurean fungal ingredient--mixed with eggs--it will be, “Till death us do part.”Kreggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07229620504046221727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-75725853414967927132010-06-24T17:58:04.270-04:002010-06-24T17:58:04.270-04:00I took liberty in my interpretation of "...le...I took liberty in my interpretation of "...lets do this again." Meaning the same rules applied regarding multiple entries...at least i hope so.<br /><br />Margaret sat in bed, strange beeps and other sounds somewhere in the distance. She only vaguely recognized the hands before her, age-spotted and wrinkled.<br /><br />Age had her mobility, but with memories of her treasures she’d never be still again. <br /><br />The deck of cards father used to teach 3 card shuffle. The tear-stained wedding announcement, the words “Till Death Us Do Part” embossed in gold.<br /><br />“Ready my dear?” the man asked. A tramp dressed in white.<br /> “This body was the lair of my life. Even epics must...” She began. <br /><br />“CLEAR!” someone yelled.<br /><br /><i>ZZZTT!</i><br /><br />“Where am…who…what are these?” she asked, memories dissolving.The Wolf In Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13472427345646024270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-63771211984208826672010-06-24T17:50:29.764-04:002010-06-24T17:50:29.764-04:00I shuffle through the photographs once more. The s...I shuffle through the photographs once more. The same three catch my eye.<br /><br />You can almost hear the tramp of soldiers' feet in this one. And this rock formation looks more like an ancient dragon's lair than a mountainside.<br /><br />Even while I hold the third photograph and stare at it, I know. This is the one. <br /><br /> White sand dunes merge into a single peak. The mass of pure-white clouds against a cerulean sky dips down to touch the dunes. An epic landscape I can never forget. <br /><br />This will be my legacy.CarolJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04990413817243012255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17040756.post-6112462497104953802010-06-24T17:43:57.173-04:002010-06-24T17:43:57.173-04:00[whoops, copied the wrong version in the first pos...[whoops, copied the wrong version in the first post]<br /><br />Francine painted on her face and headed down to the courthouse. On the bus she tried on phrases the way a tramp tries on high heels. Standing before Blind Justice’s lair, as the throngs of lawyers and plaintiffs swam past, Francine’s bravery sagged out of her. <br /><br />“I know what you done, Judge Hollard.” Her whisper crumpled under the even shuffle of the crowd. Retreating back to her trailer, her gumption grew with every mile the bus traveled. “Till death do us part, Judge Hollard,” she spat, vowing tomorrow she’d bring more than words, “and by God’s epic hand you’ll pay.”Amanda Orneckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17260579861624758242noreply@blogger.com