Saturday, June 01, 2019

and and and

I've often advised writers to perform a That-ectomy on their work. Search out all instances of THAT and make sure you need THAT word then and there. Often times, you don't.

I'm adding a word to the -ectomy list: and

I've been noticing a lot of writing that connects things that aren't linked.

Run on sentences, or just long ass sentences often link two things that don't fit together.

This can rob your pages, and novel, of energy.

It's too daunting to think of and-ectomizing your novel. The thought of it gives me the shivers and my reputation for being mean and cruel is already burnished enough (see what I did there?)

Just take a look at the pages you send with your query.
If you see a lot (like more than three) of instances where you've linked things that shouldn't be, you'll know it's also in your novel. Set a schedule of 3-5 pages a day and tackle it.

Once you know to start looking for this, you'll see it on the first revision passes you do.

Let me know what you find!



32 comments:

nightsmusic said...

May I add the word 'had' to your list? I bought a novel that sounded very interesting, had great reviews in the genre I love. Started reading it and there were almost 50 instances of the word 'had' in the first three pages. I know because I counted. I couldn't help myself. There were so many, I ended up fixated on the word rather than the story. Makes me wonder how the story made it past the editor.

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

Now that I am working with a copy editor I have discovered that I would have been a great lawyer. My "and" run on sentences could fill legal documents, change laws, "and" I use too many commas. How's that for a bad-ass sentence.

NIGHTMUSIC Years ago an editor pointed out "had". My usage was out of control. Now when I see "had" it jumps off the page as a profane word.

Luanne G. Smith said...

Guilty. I can write very long sentences this way. I always have to back through and shorten them up for ease of reading.

Lance said...

Funny thing. Yesterday I went through the WIP ectomizing had and moved on to that. That WIP had had a lot of thats and hads. I really don't believe in coincidences. Thus, the comment. Or is it hence?

julie.weathers said...

Yes, weasel words can bloat a manuscript terribly. I did a search and replace. I have 4,254 ands in 150,000 words. I'm positive I need all of them. Insert an eyeroll here.

That being said, I just read a passage between Lorena and her mother. They have infamous exchanges. As I was reading it, I thought, "This would make Miss Janet positively twitchy, but that's simply how Lorena speaks."

I mean seriously, dead is dead. Is there much difference between "dead" and "well and truly dead"?

I replace "and" with "&nd" so I have to pay attention to them.

Just when I thought I was making headway.

Richard Gibson said...

"Of" is the nemesis of my life.

Beth Carpenter said...

I know I have to watch my ands. Just is another big one.

shanepatrickwrites said...

I had always tried and make Rule 17 number one.

DeadSpiderEye said...

Actually, this is quite an interesting topic, the trend towards punctuated prose. I'm not really a fan myself, to me James Elroy et al read like a ride in cart drawn by a three legged horse over cobbles the size of mellons.

julie.weathers said...

DeadSpiderEye

I was going over some stuff that Mary Chesnut wrote in her diary and, regardless of her being on the wrong side of the fence as they say, she pulls your heart out at times with beautiful passages.

I couldn't read more than a page of James Elroy. It's not my cup of tea, but that's why there are different books for different folks.

Janet Reid said...

I can't read James Ellroy either much to my regret.

Aphra Pell said...

I just did a search on the WIP. In 87000 words I have 600 or so "had"s, 800 or so "that"s, and just over 2000 "and"s.

I'm actually surprised it isn't more!

CED said...

One I've noticed in my own writing is "back." When you look back over your manuscript, you can take many of them out. =)

I have a whole spreadsheet of words and word parts (e.g., -ing, -ly, -ence, -ness) I look to kill. It's a pretty fun way to edit, because I jump all over my manuscript and end up finding other things along the way.

John Davis Frain said...

Well, as self-appointed James Ellroy Fan Club director at the Reef, he has a place of honor on my shelf. L.A. Confidential, people. C'mon. Either he doesn't waste a word or he didn't include enough of them, but I choose the former.

Also, from what I hear, he writes his first draft in longhand, so I'm kind of a fan even before I start reading.

KariV said...

"Just" is the bane of my existence.

It just felt so right and I just had to include it!

*tongue in cheek*

Craig F said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sophistikitty said...

@KariV I have the very same problem with 'just'. And also with modifiers like 'quite', 'somewhat', 'rather' etc. On the bright side, I'm aware enough of them now that they actively annoy me in my writing, so I tend to spot them on the first edit.

Craig F said...

I use too many wasted words to glue my first drafts together. Now it is time to make Word do tricks for me in editing. I hope to get thes, ands, justs and such under control.

I kind of like James Ellroy, in moderation. The style wouldn't work if his plots weren't designed around it.

Luther, with Idris Elba as DCI John Luther starts a four part miniseries tomorrow, Sunday, 9:00, BBC

Adele said...

Huh. I just found out that the "D" in "D-Day" stood for Day. #mostusedtautologyever

roadkills-r-us said...

I am much better about “had”, but still dead with a lot of “thats”, “ands”, and “buts”. I call my overuse of the latter words conjunctivitis, to the chagrin of my medically-oriented wife.
And I believe in starting sentences with certain conjunctions for emphasis, which drives my editor a bit nuts.
No clue who Ellroy is.

julie.weathers said...

Roadkills-R-Us

Look Ellroy up on Amazon. It's like having someone shoot words at you with a Tommy gun. rat-a-tat-at-tat-tat

jerrianneh said...

Dear Janet, have you done or do you recommend performing just-ectomies on manuscripts? After hearing that most justs are unnecessary, I've been weaning myself off of them. I've also pointed that out to my critique partners. I've found that, except in rare instances, deleting or not using just improves manuscripts.

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

APHRA PELL
Ha, a day late at counting. My numbers are almost exactly the same as yours.

Kate Larkindale said...

Along with 'that', 'and' and 'had', here are a few other words to look at when editing: heard, saw, wondered, noticed, thought, watched, realized, knew, understood, just, then, when, and but.

I'm a chronic over-user of 'just', but some of these others creep in more often than I'd like too.

Brittany said...

"But" was the bane of my existence in my last novel. It's just how I talk, apparently. I had one highlighter color for repetitions, and a separate one for "but". At one point I counted seventeen on one page. Seventeen!

I've gotten better about catching myself in the act and rephrasing. I'm sure some other tic will take its place.

Miles O'Neal said...

I highly recommend using a word frequency counter. I know they exist for Windows; I can offer a script that will run on Linux or Mac if anyone cares.

Sarah said...

Just ... toward ... that ... looked (good grief- you'd think my characters only look at each other!) I have my own personal -ectomy list. And is on there, too

I've turned it into a game, though. My second to last revision is always cutting words. Because I'm a math geek, I keep a running tally, chapter by chapter, of how many words I've cut. All the other versions of my story are me figuring out what happened and how to tell it. This second to last revision is me figuring out how to tell it with piercing economy.

Miles O'Neal said...

Sarah,
Yes! One of my last passes before it goes to my editor is the Overused Vocabulary Excision Pass. (It sounds so professional- or something- when put that way.)

Konnie Enos said...

I have a note on my computer screen with this list of words to avoid (or at least use sparingly):
am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, just, that, had, realized, knew, but, wished, thought, and wondered

Some of them because they are passive, others because there are stronger words you can replace them with and some because they are telling, not showing.

But a few years ago when my youngest daughter was taking AP English in high school she told me her teacher taught them to avoid said (no more than 6 on a page) and 'and' (no more than 9 on a page.

I make an effort to keep my numbers lower than that. It always helps to keep reminders of what words show you need to make some improvements.

Pericula Ludus said...

"Really" is my latest word obsession. I get really hooked on a certain word for a while and manage to draft it into nearly every sentence. Once that demon is thoroughly exorcised/edited, I move onto a new crutch word.

I'm currently transcribing some interviews and it's funny to listen to the way people actually speak. It would be horrendous writing to use that much repetition and catch phrases in dialogue. In a 2k section I've counted 17 "lemme see"s.

Author Guy said...

I do searches for 'and', 'but', 'or', 'was', 'were', and 'that' as a matter of course. I also do a search for 'ly'.

AJ Blythe said...

I have got so good at editing out "that" as I write that when I am doing transcription work I have to go back and listen through a second time to ADD IN the that's because I subconsciously leave them out as I transcribe!