Sunday, January 13, 2019

Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl ventures to the library

DoY: My royalties have been improved. Please update your protocol guide.

Me: You're no longer the Duchess of Yowl!?

DoY: (flat stare) Please try to avoid such lack of wit this early in the morning.

Me: Of course, your ...Grace? It's still your Grace, right?

DoY: Yes. But, my realm has been expanded.
Me: Should we get out the map? I love maps.

DoY: I am the Duchess of Yowl, but also Duchess of All She Surveys (and All You Survey As Well.)
Me: That's some title.

DoY: It's like the Princess Royal. A princess but above all the other princesses.

Me: I didn't realize realms were line of sight things.
DoY: It's a medical term. I read about it in a book by a doctor.

Me: Dr. Oz? Oz isn't a real place, you know.
DoY: Not Oz, furfreebrain. Seuss.

Me: Were you reading Yertle the Turtle?
DoY: It was recommended by T.A.R.D.I.S.

Me: Did T.A.R.D.I.S. mention the cat books by Dr. Seuss?

DoY: (suspiciously) I granted no permission for books about me.

Me: Let's go to the library and I'll show them to you.

*royal procession to library*


DoY: These people are not paying me enough attention.
Me: They don't want to interrupt you while you're clearly on a royal mission.
DoY: well, ok then. Now, where are the books?

Me: Here's the right place. Look, The Cat In the Hat!
DoY: That hat is ridiculous.

Me: While true, that's not the point.
DoY: His hat stylist should be fired at once.
 
DoY: wait, I like this one:



Me: You realize that's all dogs, all pages, right.
DoY:  going is the right idea.

Me: Here's one with fish!



DoY: I suspect that hat stylist is getting a kickback from the Red Stripe Brigade!
Me: Nefarious doings indeed.

DoY: Almost as criminal as not serving lunch at the appointed hour.
Me: If we hurry, we can grab a hot dog at the corner of 69th and Lex!

DoY: No Dog. NO.

13 comments:

Adele said...

Sadly, there is no post category for the Duchess of Yowl, so I was unable to peruse refresh my memory by perusing the Chronicles of Yowl. T.A.R.D.I.S.? I get that the T stands for The but my Sunday morning brain stops there. Elucidation, anyone?

Adele said...

Sorry about perusing twice. The first once should have been deleted. I think the computer saves my deletions and reinserts them after I press "send", just for the fun of it.

Janet Reid said...

it's hard to see sometimes, but there is alink anchored on TARDIS name about where it came from.

(It was Parade of Pets, the tortoise)

Lennon Faris said...

DoY, I'd recommend "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" It has a few tips for world domination hidden in there that you might use.

Adele, T.A.R.D.I.S. is also from the Dr. Who universe and stands for "Time And Relative Dimension In Space." I haven't ever watched it (sorry, Colin), but I think it is that blue time machine that looks like a telephone booth.

Julie Weathers said...

Too much fun. The DoY definitely has her own minions.

Many libraries have library cats. Unfortunately, some grinches have forced some to get rid of them allowing someone might be allergic to cats. I can understand in a way, but le sigh. I don't know how we survived childhood before everyone was allergic to wheat, peanuts, cats, dogs, each other.

Anyway, in Odessa, Texas there is a lovely little used book store that is cram packed with used books. Prepare for a treasure hunt as there is some hint at order, but not really. It also has two very large cats who sit in the window and watch people go by. They remind me of the Cheshire cat and you are drawn to come in to visit with the cats even if you didn't want a book right then. Of course, who doesn't want a book every day? Plus, they had a wonderful collection of southwest history magazines if you knew where to look.

The first draw, though, was always the cats.

Adele said...

Thanks Janet, for the hint about the alink. I don't know if it's Blogger or my own computer settings that are responsible, but there's no colour change at all on the link and it only appeared to be a link when I hovered over the word in just the right place and an underline appeared. (invisible links. what fun. not.) I plead Sunday morning, no coffee, recovering from a headcold.

I'm a long-time Dr. Who fan, so was aware of the TARDIS reference, but I couldn't make it fit in the story so I assumed the acronym had a second meaning that I just couldn't fathom. My apologies to all.

PS: "Furfreebrain" I always love the DOY's epithets.

Dena Pawling said...


I am writing this comment to express my sincere disappointment in that it appears [based on her comment “where are the books”] that this is the first time you have taken the DOY to a library. Shame on you! You have been remiss in your obligation to provide her with proper intellectual stimulation. Royalty these days is more than simply a pedigree and a pretty face. They have responsibilities.

I'm disappointed in you.

=)

Theresa said...

Another delightful day with the DoY!

Janet Reid said...

Dena Pawling
Usually the library just comes to her.


nightsmusic said...

DoY: His hat stylist should be fired at once.

Bwahahaha!! This comment does not surprise me. I can't imagine DoY in anything less than a Jackie O.

Donnaeve said...

I chortled on this one! (I never chortle, but I like the word)

DoY outdid her supreme self this a.m.!

"No Dog, NO."

Best. Line. Ever! (or evah! for NYC.)

NLiu said...

When I was small I lived in a village and our library literally did come to us - it had wheels and was driven by a librarian. It was magic. He came by every week and used to pick out books he thought I'd like to put in the van. He was always right. Happy days.

Claire Bobrow said...

Speaking of style, how does the DOY feel about the hat-wearing poodle in Go, Dog. Go!? That's a plot line she could sink her royal teeth into, considering her superior taste in millinery. She might enjoy Raquel D’Apice’s satirical take on the situation: http://theuglyvolvo.com/an-open-letter-to-the-female-hat-wearing-dog-from-go-dog-go/

Note to T.A.R.D.I.S: I love that you're not only reading books, but recommending them! Yertle the Turtle is a great choice :-)