Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl: What the shedding dog is THAT?
Me: Turkey, your grace. It's Thanksgiving!
DoY: (suspiciously) I thought you were getting a bird for me.
Me: A turkey is a bird.
DoY: (looking askance) More like Godzilla Bird.
Me: You don't have to eat it all yourself, we're having guests!
DoY: (suspiciously) You specified NoDogs, NoToddlers, right?
Me: Dogs and toddlers are not on the menu.
DoY: Of course not. Dogs are foul, and toddlers are sticky.
Me: Yes, that's exactly why they aren't on the menu. Now go purr on the couch, I have to stuff
the bird and get it in the oven.
(some time later, the kitchen appears to be the rehearsal venue for the food fight scene in Animal House.)DoY: (strolling back into the kitchen) Who won?
Me: Brooklyn Meets Godzilla, no contest.
DoY: I think I saw that in a movie once.
Me: BROOKLYN, not Bambi!
DoY: Oh deer me, I'm sorry.
Me: I said I like your purring, not your punning.
DoY: As the Monterey beach said to the ocean wave "I, Sur, endure!'
Me: I have a kitchen to clean up! (hastily runs water to block out sound)
DoY: Wait, I have more! Lots more!
Me. You win! No Dogs. No Toddlers. NoPUNS!
DoY: (catisfied smirk) Just one meow for the road.
Me: Alright, alright, NoDogs, NoToddlers. More petting. You win.
DoY; I'll be on the couch! Don't forget the remote! There's a new Netflix show I want to see!
Me: (joining DoY on couch) It can't possibly be Dogs can it?
DoY: (acerbically) The Tigers of Scotland
Me: Oh good, I love cats in kilts.
DoY: Opposable thumbs really are wasted on you.