Office phone lights up; Janet grabs receiver; abacus, octopus, and Rolodex section listing people who have swimming pools all go flying.
JR: (briskly) Janet Reid
Deluded fellow: I'm trying to reach Janet Reid
Deluded fellow: I want to send her an email. I want to make sure I have the email address right. Is it http colon slice slice w w w...
JR: (interrupting) that's a website address. The email address is jreid at new leaf literary dot com
Deluded fellow:Janet Reid at New Leaf Literacy?
JR: Please listen carefully. Jreid at New Leaf Literary dot com
Deluded fellow: (laughing lightly) I'm old. I don't know much about computers.
JR: Really? How old are you? (hoping caller is north of 147; envisioning book deals and Vogue interviews)
Deluded fellow: (rather proudly) I'm 80 years young!
JR: 80? Eighty? Oh please. Computers have been around for more than a third of your life, email for 25% percent of your life. Are you still trying to use subway tokens? Looking for payphones on street corners? Dialing 0 for the operator? Enraged that street corner hot dogs cost more than a dollar? Wait, Are you a cloistered monk by any chance?
Deluded fellow: (wondering if he's conversing with a crazy person) I have a book that is going to change the world. I'm sure she wants to know about it.
JR: (as dryly as possible) Is it called An Idiot's Guide to Email?
I swear every single word of this is true.
your takeaway: There are lots of things about publishing that are hard to figure out but how to use email is not one of them. This is textbook asshattery: sticking your head in the sand and hoping the modern world will go away just cause you want it to. I've tried. It won't.