I was standing in the bathroom this morning contemplating the on-going, never-ending paint job and I realized it really REALLY sux. There are missed spots where my arms were too short to reach with a brush, and the access too narrow to get with a roller. There are dabs of the wall color on the ceiling. Dabs of the ceiling color on the wall. It's pretty clear I didn't do a very good job.
But you know what? I had fun. Ok, maybe not fun, but it was a valuable experience. I loved testing the colors, and I love how the apartment has some vim and verve now instead of plain white walls.
It's true, I'll never be asked to paint anyone's apartment should they ever see this place (yea, Colin, I'm looking at you!) and House Beautiful isn't setting up a photo shoot. I'm totally fine with that.
It's ok to suck at something if you enjoy doing it. Not everything has to be professional level performance. Not everything has to be for display either on the internet or in a magazine. In other words, if you like doing it, that might just be enough. It doesn't have to be your job, or your calling.
You see where I'm going here.
If you love to write, you don't have to be published for your writing to have value and purpose. For starters, once you know how hard it is to write a novel, you'll have a deeper appreciation of other writers. Once you've written a novel, you'll be able to see subtle writing skills in other writers' works.
Testing 27 paint colors taught me a lot about color. Flirting with Razzle Dazzle and Bermuda Breeze taught me that even colors I love love love might not be the right color for the job at hand. Trying new things in your writing might not work, but it's the trying itself that has value.
If you love to write, and you don't ever want to be published, give yourself permission to be a 27-paint-sample-can writer: do it cause you want to, and the hell with what anyone else thinks.
And the interesting thing is: I swore I would never paint my apartment myself again, but now that I'm almost this close to being done, I'm thinking I will, cause I want to see if I can do it better next time. And I still want to find a place to slap on some Razzle Dazzle!