"Writing is not for wusses."--Lynne Main
Kodachrome of the 1952 Canine Sponge Diving Championship winner, taken just before he gets a really big bone.
The Red Baron looked into the mirror, horrified that even the darkest goggles couldn’t shield him from seeing he had gone white with old age.
I traded the evil cat for these cool goggles. Sure, Lucifer gets the humans. But now I am free to pursue that infernal squirrel.
After watching a Charlie Brown marathon, Scruffy prepared to follow in his idol's paw steps. Now if only he could find his aviator cap....
Sandy's Saloon rocked last night, man! Toast after toast. I don't remember who decided I was a retriever and could dive for that phone.
I said I’d wear the goggles on Halloween, but they can lick my butt if they think I’m wearing the rest of that costume.
Did I get the part? Am I the next Mr Peabody?
Dad turned on his Kindle, strapped on his goggles and mine. He chose the newest supernova.“The Adventures of Dixie Dupree” lit up the room.
OMG! She’s wearing her neon Sponge Bob leggings again! I’ll never live this down. Quick – don the Snoopy costume. Now – where’s that damned scarf?
My eyes are still dilated. I’ll let you drive home.
A quick disguise to go incognito past that herd of ferals. I don’t think they would understand that I am just an excitable boy.
Now available: Photogenic pooch willing to endure the hardships of White House living with either Hilary or the Don. Pedigreed, house-trained, fully vaccinated.
Skydive behind enemy lines - checkInfiltrate palace - checkKill dictator - checkGet out - checkMission accomplishedWhat I do for cookies!
Ugh, I'm totally vampiric. That's not how girls like me start their summer. Off to get bronzed.
Pardon me; I am visually impaired. Are service humans permitted in this establishment?
The Duchess of Yowl? No, I haven't seen her. *burp* Why do you ask?
Florida is awesome. We’re either riding around with the top down or in a skiff, heading out to sea. No swimming, though. We’ve got sharks!
Stay cool, Kelev. You’ve got the goggles. And you couldn’t have known this would happen. It’s called catnip, not… Oh, is that a camera? Smile.
My name is Mr. Wonder, as in Stevie.I play the puppyiano and harmonica and jam with Snoop Dogg.California Roll dudes.We canine cool.
You stand guard while I blowtorch her laptop. Nanowrimo is coming.
Fighting pack for orts, herding sheep, gnawing bones from King’s table, protecting farm, sleeping inside at family’s feet. Time travel’s enthralling, but gives me migraines.
"You give me the blue biscuit, we go for a walk now. You give me the red biscuit, and I show you how deep that hole I dug for you goes.The choice is yours, Neo."
Flash sighed as he walked with Michael out to the pool. Four more years of workouts. He had soooooo been looking forward to retirement.
I hopped in with a tongue-lolling grin. I'd agreed to goggles, but not the coat. The sidecar was fun, 'cept that bug in my throat.
A box of liver-flavored biscuits, a new tennis ball, and now he’s hooking up the sidecar. The future’s so bright, I’ve gotta wear shades.
If you think this is a ploy to look like Snoopy, you’re wrong. Call me Superdog. And tell me, why didn’t you share that burger?
This is the routine. Goggles. Leash. Dog park. Dad says I'm a chick magnet. It don't make no sense. Everybody knows chickens live on farms.
Phelpsie, new World Record holder in the 400-m Central Park Free, poses before medal ceremony, credits trainers Ducky Pond and Sly Squirrel.
Thanks dude, you rock. The shark in the waves looks bitchin' in these shades. Where's my board?
Dress like the boss, they said. It'll make you look cool, they said. Oh, what's a seeing-eye dog to do?
Wait I lost my cane! Where's my Hispanocasion to guide me? Somebody call Snoopy on the blimp. He's got GPS. Oh wait, they fired him.
Anyone seen my siblings, Orville and Wilbur?
The red leash for valor, danger to make your hair curl, a wounded hero aged and forgotten."Where's your greyhound?" "At the dog groomer."
Abandoned SearchingLostLongingQuestingFreezing MattedStarvingSoft voiceGentle touchWarmthFoodBath (aoooooh)Blow-driedFluffyStylishPoster dogForever loved
Hope to see you tonight at Barnes and Noble where I'll be autographing copies of my book, "Going to the Dogs-America At the Brink."
'Hey,these really are x-ray specs!Better take them off before my human starts looking any more like a menu.'
"Now," thought the inventor, "I've finally made it work-- the finest protection against puppy dog eyes!"She ate dinner and laughed maniacally the whole time.
"The goggles? I need them in case I step in a poodle!"(Dad humor FTW) ;)
woof.That's all. Run along now.
Went to the zoo, but only saw a dog. What a shih-tzu. Went diving to see some coral, but only found a pug-boat.
It's hard being Pup, the Wonder Dog. The pupparazzi, the fanbitches, the fame. Being a pupatrator of style. Oh, my life is sheer agony.
Lasik surgery. I had a choice of these or the cone of shame.
Bucket List #3 - One chill sky diving son of a b!tch. Check out the Doggles. (I’ll walk myself to the plane.)
Woof. Ray Charles ain't got nothin' on me. I'm blind as a bat, but at least I look cool.
Wait - wha?!Swimming, you say?With sharks?!You're not serious.You are?! No! I'm not ready!Get these goggles off! I'm still editing!NO!Nooooooooooooooo...
"I wear my sunglasses at night -" "It's noon." "So?" "It's daytime." "I wear my sunglasses at noon!" "Insufferable dog." "I am a dog, though." "Touche."
F-DOTUS IS ON THE MOVE; HEADING INTO THE CROWD.I know the Canine Secret Service is on a short leash...But...I mean... C'MON...
Well, this is embarrassing. It seems the child said "Goggie!" not goggles.
Hey, maybe we gotta sniff 'em, but that don't mean gotta look at 'em, too. Am I right, bro?
“Come here often, cutie?”“First time.”“Poor kitten! You single?”“Seven lives now.”“Curse the luck!”“You?”“Blind, lonely puppy, that’s me.”“PUPPY?!”“Oops. Meow?”
There are few things in life that cannot be cured by a damn good pair of specs. Unfortunately for Jerry, weredog-ism was one of them.
So the family sets me up with this lassie from Visiting Angels, comes twice a week, and I’ve got to tell you she’s hot.
Dogged by a reporter, Priscilla shed her civilian garb for doggles. Some lap up the attention of the media but Superpup prefers to be indognito.
Well, whatcha think? Am I human now, huh, am I, am I, am I, huh, huh, am I?
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